Tag Archives: Top Ten Horror Movies

Happy Dirty 30! Top Ten Horror Movies of 1991!

HAPPY DIRTY 30! TOP TEN HORROR MOVIES OF 1991!

Every time I do one of these lists, I feel like I’m hammering another nail in my coffin. But, I’m a glutton for punishment and the morbid destiny that awaits me.

Unlike the year’s predecessor, lower-budget horror dominated 1991. I feel like a good portion of these are considered mediocre in the general public’s POV. But, I also know that in that same breath, we still watch the shit out of them. That has to amount to something. Also, if you got no love for Full Moon, we might have a problem there, buddy.

Plus, you know, nostalgia and stuff.

Anywho, I’ve attached some handy Amazon links with the movies listed in the case one or two catches your eye and need to expand your beautiful horror collection. Full disclosure: I may earn like two cents or something if you buy through this website. Buy hey, if enough of you buy Puppet Master 3, I could totally get a Crunchwrap Supreme for dinner! I’m certainly not opposed to that.

Now onwards to the best horror movies of 1991!

10. Puppet Master 3: Toulon’s Revenge

Ahh the Charles Band masterpiece of The Puppet Master returns in the second sequel of the franchise and takes us out of the creepy hotel setting and straight into World War II. We get to see our little friends fight off Nazis, with the new addition of Six Shooter joining the band of marionettes- and really, those are both huge selling points right there. We also get not one, but TWO origin stories involving Leech Woman and Blade, which totally makes me overlook the fact the story is set in 1941, when in fact according to the first film, Toulon died in 1939.

Honestly, its a little boo-boo but all the puppet action paired with the former statements, makes you forget all about it and just enjoy Six Shooter unloading his guns into Nazi-scum with his wonderous little painted smirk.

Get the blu-ray here on Amazon!

9. WE GOT A TIE

Subspecies/The Pit And The Pendulum

I just couldn’t choose between both these Full Moon gems so I’m breaking the rules and giving them BOTH the number nine spot!

Let’s start with the intelligent Subspecies. The film lays out a fresh take on the old, and sometimes tired, vampire story with many films to follow later in the catalog. The practical effects and stop-motion puppets that Full Moon is infamous for, are done superbly well here in a film where a kingdom of a family of vampires thrives in this dark, gothic horror fairy tale with some KING Angus Scrimm thrown in the mix. The film also really goes balls deep into the folklore of the creatures, and is actually filmed in Romania instead of a back-studio lot which really puts the movie in a class of its own in the vampire genre.

It’s really hard not to love this one with a vampire family feud going on with some college students in the mix to get the story going. Perfect independent, straight-to-VHS horror film in 1991!

Pick it up on Amazon here!

Another Full Moon treasure, The Pit and the Pendulum starring Lance Henriksen is a must see for any horror fan. Derived and twisted from the brilliant mind and tales from Edgar Allen Poe, the adaptation is directed by master Stuart Gordon and in true Gordon fashion- the movie is just so beautiful to look at.

Set in the Spanish Inquisition, Grand Inquisitor Torquemada (Henriksen), leads the way in a bloody reign of terror in outing people as a witches. The torture scenes are pretty gruesome, and Henrikson really gives his all in the part; In an almost over the top kind of way that really sells the shit out of this horrid character.

Pick up the final part of the Full Moon holy trinity circa 1991 here!

8. Unborn

UGH. I remember first seeing this horrifying piece of cinematic terror at a slumber party back in the early 90s’ and lemme tell you- it put the fear of GOD in me in regards to EVER getting pregnant for the next 10 years. Well, until my daughter came along in 2004, but hey it was enough to scar me until I was an adult and ready. So if you want a crash Sex-Ed course for your pre-teens, Unborn is the way to go.

As far as feminine body-horror goes, this flick ranks right up there as we follow a woman in an in-vitro fertilization program run by a sketch doctor and wild shit happens to her body. However, what comes out of it is the tippy-top cherry of that pregnancy horror sundae. It’ll forever haunt the baby blues out of you.

Pick up the little bastard right here!

7. Sometimes, They Come Back

There are two types of people in this world: those who love this Stephen King TV adaptation from the Night Shift collection, and those who want to bury it inside deepest pits of TV Movie Hell where these greaser ghosts were trying to avoid all along.

I’m happy to say I’m not of the latter, thank you.

The movie relays on more practical thriller scares rather than gore. And perhaps as follow up only a mere six months after of the premiere of IT, maybe it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Anyways, the movie follows a high-school teacher and his family who come back to his home-town to face his past that entails his older brother being murdered by a greaser gang in his childhood years. Now the slick dicks are dead, and are possessing the bodies of his students in an effort to murder him.

Poor Tim Matheson can’t catch a break. Pick up the nostalgic 90s’ Stephen King TV gold here!

6. Cape Fear (1991)

The in-your-face reboot of J. Lee Thompson’s 1962 thriller modernized by the pair of Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro managed to revamp the classic into a terrifying, paranoid tale of psycho, rapey revenge.

The all-star cast of a film follows a lawyer (Nick Nolte), his wife (Jessica Lange), and daughter (Juliette Lewis) through hell and back as De Niro toys and stalks each one after his lengthy prison sentence of which he blames his lawyer (Nolte) for. It’s downright skeevy at times and makes it uncomfortable to watch at certain points- especially the scenes between De Niro and Lewis. However, it’s just another example of a how a classic thriller-horror can be redone in the right way.

Fun Fact: Steven Spielberg was penned to direct the remake, and had Bill Murray in mind to play as Max Cady. But, Scorsese took over and obviously brought in his alumni for the villainous role. This could have been SUCH a different vibe and honestly, I would have loved to see that.

Anyways, grab your copy here!

5. Sleeping With The Enemy

Alright, alright I know what some of you are thinking… “This isn’t horror?!” Well, my response to that is goddamnit Patrick Bergin and his knives for eyes scared THE FUCK outta me as a kid and I’ll be damned if someone tries to argue that hiding from a spouse that’s literally breaking your bones every other week isn’t a scary scenario, you be very wrong my friend.

Julia Roberts plays a battered woman who faked her death in order to escape her maniac husband and start a new life elsewhere. Things are looking up as she scores a house next door to a hunky theater professor, until the insane ex catches on to her game and tracks her down.

The film touches on PTSD from domestic violence and the lasting effects it can have on a person. Which I can totally relate to as, full disclosure, I myself am a DV survivor, And when I say survivor, I was close to being killed numerous times. So this movie in particular is quite horrifying to me. It’s something that actually isn’t far at all from a lot of women’s stories and that in itself, is enough horror for me indeed.

Grab the thriller right here!

4. Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare

Listen man, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare might not be the most beloved of the franchise. However, it’s the first Freddy film that was released theatrically when I was old enough to have a movie date with friends alone. That, paired with the tremendous hype surrounding it with Robert Englund hacking himself like the Springfield Slut to MTV, Universal Studios, and late-night talk shows with specials promoting the demise of Freddy, it’s hard not to love this mess.

Oh and it was in 3-D too!

The Final Nightmare was to be the end-all of the Springfield Slasher by the hands of his only living heir, his child no one ever knew he had. We had a new group of teens to be taken down one by one along with several notable celebrity cameos to give Freddy a proper send-off including Nightmare alumni Johnny Depp, then couple Roseanne Barr Tom Arnold, and Alice Cooper. While the film ultimately isn’t ass strong as its predessors, it has a faithful charm only a Fred-Head would truly understand and I’ll die on this hill with this shit show.

Pick it up here!

3. Child’s Play 3

HAPPY DIRTY 30! TOP TEN HORROR MOVIES OF 1991!

The line alone, “Don’t fuck with the Chuck” is well enough alone to land Chucky’s third film in the top three spot.

Chucky is back torturing a teenage Andy whose been shipped off to a military school. However this time, before he gets to to his original “friend to the end”, he runs into Tyler- a naïve young cadet that becomes manipulated in Chucky’s game and doesn’t realize it until the shit has already hit the fan.

I love everything about Child’s Play 3. Chuck’s comedic chops really shine in the third installment without it getting too corny- and that’s the last time unfortunately it happens in the ongoing series. From his shenanigans’ in the military academy, to the war grounds, to finally the carnival in the haunted hell ride is the coolest journey in this cat and mouse game.

Pick up the special Blu Ray here!

2. The People Under The Stairs

I have no unearthly idea why there’s so much hate for this movie- trust me, I’ve heard way more negative than anything– and I’m probably going to catch hell for this but I DON’T CARE. Wes Craven’s The People Under the Stairs is goddamn glorious and as about as underrated as it gets. There is so much story going on in this film it can be easy to lose focus on the underlying horrific reality leeching on the cruelty of humanity.

All the madness of abuse, slumlords, racial stereotypes with class-based conflict and manipulation is a complete projection of society at the time and is just as ever relevant today in 2021. Maybe even more so.

The story begins with “Fool” a street-smart kid who teams up with his criminal neighbor to steal a rumored bundle of gold from their asshole landlords. What they find inside the home of the demented brother and sister duo is a lot more than what they bargained for. An abused young girl. Gimp suits and shotguns. And a terrifying secret hidden under the stairs.

I mean if you’ve seen it-you know but in the case you haven’t, I’m gonna stop and direct you to this link where you should immediately buy this and put it in your eyeballs. Thanks.

  1. The Silence of The Lambs

I think it’s no surprise that the film that forever scarred me into ever getting to a size 14 in clothing, was going to be on the tippy-top of this list!

The Silence of the Lambs 1991 adaptation taken by the writings Thomas Harris made infamous in his series of novels, is and always will be-the perfect horror movie. Hannibal is so many words, is like the great white shark you never saw coming from the depths of the ocean, albeit a shark with more manners anyway. He’s cunning, highly intelligent, and for the most part, he terrifies us merely with his words. There’s no gore or action on his part for the majority of the film minus the one incident during his transfer where we actually get to see what Hannibal “The Cannibal” is actually capable of. He induces that fear in us psychologically, making us use our imagination in his conversations with Clarice. That’s one HELL of a thing to pull off in a film and thirty years later I still think about this movie at least once a week because of it.

Then, there’s Buffalo Bill. The complexity of his confused and angry character that leads him to killing and skinning women for his own personal body suit is enough to give anyone the skivvies. Throw in an awkward naked dance paired with some Q Lazzurus and we got ourselves one of the most memorable scenes from any horror movie in history. Much like with Lector, we don’t actually SEE Bill do his dirty deeds, they are only mentioned and we see a glimpse of the aftermath of one of his victims via Clarice Starling and the FBI team. Giving way, for us to use our minds and imagining the horrors these women succumbed to Which can be more frightful in any case.

Which lastly, bring us to Starling. the Mother Mary of this trifecta who has clawed her way through sexist pigs of the FBI program in an effort to escape her past and honor her deceased father. Hannibal, along with being the world’s deadliest serial killer is also a renowned psychiatrist and sees RIGHT through her upon their first meeting. That exchange sets the tone for the entire film and is one of the goddamn most utterly disturbing scenes in the while film.

Well, I mean besides ol’ Jamie Gumm dancing in front of a camera.

So yeah if you don’t have this in your collection, I don’t even know what to say other than please remedy this immediately here!

Bonus Addition! Best Family Horror Obviously Goes Toooooooooo…….

*snaps fingers*

I was trying to stick to straight horror for this list, but there’s NO WAY I could even think of leaving this out. The Addams Family, while not a scary film by any means, is part of our very important horror culture growing up and have been for generations. So it gets a whole category all to it’s self because I do what I want- in my best Cartman voice.

Charming, funny, iconic lines for days, The Addams Family is the perfect go-to for any movie night in with the family, or hell by yourself! It’s spun by the perfect cast, Raul Julia, Angelica Huston, Christopher Lloyd, and a tiny Christina Ricci displaying everything we loved about these characters’ for decades and they will always and forever be, unmatched by those personas they perfected on the big screen.

Pick it up here!

40 Terrific Years of Terror! Top Ten Horror Films of 1981

40 TERRIFIC YEARS OF TERROR! TOP TEN HORROR FILMS OF 1981

Well here we are. A new year means a new top ten horror list that will remind us all to put Bengay on that upcoming shopping trip inventory of crap. Instead of doing my usual “Dirty 30” (of which I will still do a little later), we’re gonna start 2021 off with a myriad of horror flicks that turn the Fabulous 40 this year!

1981 was a banner year for horror indeed and audiences had a variety to choose from on those Friday night date nights at the local theater. Hot off the slasher craze of the surprise hit of Friday the 13th the year prior, studios were eager to jump on that bandwagon for cheap thrills at a minimum budget that brought in major profits. And thy behold, 1981 gave us fresh faces of horror such as Harry Warden, Gunther, and the introduction of a machete wielding maniac in adult form that would go on to become one of horror’s most iconic villians.

So of course I wanted to start this new year fresh spotlighting some of the very best the year of our slasher lord, 1981 has to offer. While this is at the end of the day, my own opinion piece on the matter, please feel free to comment your favorites- maybe something not mentioned, or hell, give me YOUR list! I would love to hear from you guys! Also, worth noting I’ve included trusty Amazon links to the films mentioned if one would be so inclined to make a purchase- which would also help little me earn a percentage in possibly five years or so (heh). So hey, if you want to add to your horror collection while your fellow nostalgic contributor out with running this website, I will forever thank you and write a sweet Kenny G style love song about you in the very near future.

Alright let’s get dive into this mess. Counting down to what I think is the best movie at number one- THE TOP TEN HORROR MOVIES OF 1981!

10. Dark Night of the Scarecrow

Premiering as a Halloween film of the week on CBS in October of ’81, Dark Night of the Scarecrow apart from stellar performances from the cast, is the first horror film that actually centers around a killer scarecrow!

With a plot surrounding a mentally handicapped man named Bubba, who is falsely accused of attacking a young girl and ends up being murdered while incognito as a scarecrow hiding in a field, and the lynch mob basically getting away with it; it makes for a fine-tuned horror film in the making as well, in revenge fashion the culprits are killed off quite phenomenally one by one. With a scarecrow being sited at each death scene.

Some might feel its cliché ridden, however Dark Night of the Scarecrow is an underrated, hidden gem that is perfect for October viewings! Get it here from Amazon!

9. The Howling

One of two fantastically furry wolf-centered films makes numero nine on the list-The Howling. An almost satirical, and self-aware of being exactly what it is, The Howling stars the beautiful Dee Wallace and is directed by a pre-Gremlins Joe Dante.

Wallace plays a news anchor who after being traumatized after a seemingly to others, hallucination episode on her part, is sent a “resort” ( which is a nice way of saying a nut-house, where she soon finds out what she has experienced is very real- and surrounds her in this very colony she is now stuck in.

The Howling was released in March of ’81, just five months before the “big” werewolf film of the decade. And it’s sort of shame as I feel it became somewhat overshadowed with the hype of AAWIL. Which to be fair, is great of course. However, with two big werewolf film releases in one year, the more flashy one will usually get the glory and juice. Had this been released a year before or after, I feel like more people would hold it higher than they do now. Anyways, get it here on Amazon!

8. Possession

Visually striking and a TRUE GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL horror film, Possession is everything that embodies sexual, feminine empowerments in the genre. Disturbing for some? Sure. But I think it’s done rather tastefully– pun intended. As a matter of fact, if at some point you don’t feel uncomfortable at all during a viewing, I’d say you’re more than probably a sociopath.

A young and beautiful wife (Isabella Adjani) leaves her husband (Sam Neill) abruptly for an unexplained reason. He thinks infidelity is involved. She claims that’s not the case. But goddammit he KNOWS there must be SOMEONE else involved. So he follows her in a very subtle non-stalkery way and holy shit what comes of that story is nothing more than a pure mind fuck. I refuse to say anymore for anyone that is shameful to haven’t had the pleasure, or unpleasure of seeing this.

And if that be the case, please get on this shit immediately. IF you can find it. I managed to find some legit sellers on EBAY (click here), so that might be your best bet.

7. My Bloody Valentine

My Bloody Valentine is basically Canada’s answer to the holiday horror film populace of the ’80s that Friday the 13th kicked off for the decade. And goddamn it is a ripe pickin’ out of the now hundreds of holiday horror genre films that we can currently fill a good size swimming pool with.

The story of antagonist Harry Warden of My Bloody Valentine is fairly a clever set-up: Twenty years prior, an accident in the town’s mine led to five workers being trapped underground when their supervisors left their posts early to attend a Valentine’s dance. Four of the trapped workers died and the fifth, Harry Warden, had to resort to cannibalism to survive.

Anyways, after Warden and the now half-eaten corpses were discovered and rescued, he was by then insane and went mental on his former supervisors- by ripping out their hearts and placing them in cute little Valentine boxes as a warning to never celebrate this day veer again, dammnit!

Yeah, well apparently folks felt the statute of limitations was twenty years, and well- now we got a horror movie. Which you can pick up right here!

6. Friday the 13th Part 2

Well with the magnificent Pamela Voorhees kicking off the slasher genre of the ’80s, it would be stupid not to include the sequel that gave us her now iconic special, special boy Jason! I mean, it’s a pretty good sequel too.

Following the events of the first film, we find ourselves back at Camp Crystal Lake with fresh meat for a now magically grown adult Jason, (who cares if it makes sense) to seek revenge on some unsuspecting counselors for his mother’s death.

From a critic’s POV, the Friday franchise has some stinkers. From a fan’s however (like myself), they all maintain a level of charm that makes us return to each one with loving nostalgia.

Grab the first 4 films on one disc here!

5. Scanners

Ahh, good ol’ Scanners. Cronenberg’s science-fiction horror take on, I guess a fucked up X-Men?! The movie may have hit the 40-year mark, but it’s a tale from the master storyteller that feels very modern and messaging that runs deep that is just as relevant today as it was back then. Hell, a hundred years from now, someone might say the same thing and that’s why this film can possibly NEVER be rebooted in a proper manner. Can’t fix perfect man.

Scanners is a movie with a special ability called “scanning”. Technically, psychic powers such as reading thoughts, control a person’s mind and organs (making your heart speed up, etc…), and yes, blowing someone’s head up. We’ve all seen the infamous scene whether you’ve seen the movie or not. There’s a lot of corporate greed conspiracy going into the plot so I won’t go any further, but seriously if you have been sleeping on Scanners, give it a go- get it here!

4. An American Werewolf in London

When John Landis made the jump from Comedy to Horror, he did so with a BANG- well, maybe rather a vicious snarl but you get the idea. AAWIL, 40 years later, is still looked at very closely by those studying film and especially, students in the special effects industry. The Landis legacy is truly problematic (putting it mildly), and I’m not super comfortable celebrating anything about him. However, I can’t deny how great of a horror film this is, whatever my opinion on the man might be. So personal feelings aside, the art made prior to some seriously tragic events (The Twilight Zone Movie); I’ll stick this guru of lycanthrope effects at number four.

Landis had written the screenplay as a modern homage to Universal’s The Wolfman way back in 1969, almost a decade before the film was made into a reality. Two backpackers from New York take a tour of Europe but only get as far as Yorkshire where they are viciously attacked by a large animal. One is mauled to death, the other barely makes it out alive, however, with a spiffy souvenir- a werewolf bite!

As an early 80s horror film, AAWIL doesn’t exactly fit that stereotype. Beyond fashion and hairstyles, the movie feels just as simplistically modern today as it did forty years ago. Foregoing the horror movie clichés into a somewhat more serious film about tragedy and despair. With of course some light humor here and there. It is Landis after all. Therefore, the movie will most likely stand the test of time for another forty years, and beyond. Get the Blu-ray on sale here!

3. The Funhouse

Now some of you might be asking why I put Tobe Hooper’s ball of weirdness, horror, and fun so high up this list.. And well here’s my answer to that:

Sorry, that had to be done, hah!

My first viewing of Hooper’s The Funhouse was sometime around the age of nine or ten for myself as part of a Saturday afternoon horror movie-thon on basic cable. Saturday morning cartoons were over and then up pops this beauty. The creepy montage of carnival music with the black canvas of credits occupying the merry-go-round of slightly horrifying animatronic figures that occupied the Funhouse at center stage was enough to pique my curiosity to sit and watch this thing and the rest is history. I certainly can’t remember EVERY horror film I saw for the first time. But with The Funhouse, I remember like it was yesterday. On top of it being a pretty great horror installment for the decade, it’s pretty special to me in that aspect.

The story is fairly straightforward with a pair of couples engaging in date night at a traveling carnival with some seedy history behind it. The teens decide it would be a kinky adventure to sneak inside the funhouse and stay the night. Of course, fun is halted when they realize the pop and “son” running it is a pair of murdering maniacs- with Frankenstein face being something way worse than they experienced at any Freak Show.

The first quarter of the movie really sets that shady atmosphere with little random things that occur inside the place leading up to the night in the Funhouse, and I always really appreciated that. The whacky out-of-place old lady in the bathroom, the creepy Magician, and that skeevies-inducing dude showing off his half-naked sister for the adult girls show. The movie just screams everything done right with an 80s horror film without walking into cliche territory and I just love it to death.

Pick it up here!

2. Halloween II

Oh yes. The film that gives one of horror’s GREATEST lines ever narrated by none other than Sir Donald Pleasance, and not to mention the BEST pumpkin opener (fight me) in the series, comes in at a close second.

Directly continuing the violent Halloween night Michael Myers caused in his rage and chaos, Myers follows Laurie to Haddonfield Memorial Hospital and doesn’t skip a beat along the way, killing anyone that enters his path to get to what is now revealed, to be his sister. Halloween II is darker, more aggressive, and a little more fast-paced as Myers is just PISSED now. Many might disagree with me, but I almost prefer it to the original.

Oh and that greatest line ever? You know I’m right.

Slash your way to savings with this Blu-Ray anniversary edition for only $9.99 here!

1. Evil Dead

I’d like to think I’m channeling Ash Williams here when I say, “If you think any other movie was gonna beat this out, this town only has room for one magnificent asshole here. And that guy is me.”

Evil Dead. The film Sam Raimi created spawned a cult-phenomenon of Deadites and launched Bruce Campbell into horror legendary status. Following 2 sequels, Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness, with later a Starz series and even a stage musical, Evil Dead has certainly made its mark in the genre. It’s got everything almost every movie-goer could possibly ask for in a film. Romance, check. Action, check. Scary shit, check. Oh, and more blood than anyone probably needs in any one film. Heck, Evil Dead was so effective, it was outright banned in West Germany, Iceland, Sweden, Finland, Ireland, and the UK.  Religious groups branded it evil and newspapers branded it obscene. MP Graham Bright claimed it was so dangerous it could harm not only you and your children but also your pet dog.

Like that was going to stop anyone from wanting to watch it even more.

You can probably disagree with a lot of my rankings here, but I believe collectively that we can all agree that Evil Dead is truly a beloved, badass treasure among the genre.

Nab your copy that includes the first two films on Blu-ray here for $7!