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The Thanksgiving Gift We All Needed: 35 Years ago, The Undertaker debuted at the 1990 Survivor Series

November 22nd: A day that lives in infamy for two reasons. The assassination of President John Kennedy in 1963, and the birth of a WWF legend at the annual Thanksgiving wrestling tradition at the 1990 Survivor Series. Yes, I still refer to WWE as WWF by default because I’m a rebel, Dottie.

I’ll never forget that fateful Thanksgiving when our stereotypical giant Italian family got together for our fat-fuck annual holiday feast. Italian cold cuts platters, Italian Christmas Soup, the big turkey feast, and of course, the mother fuckin’ PPV holiday event of the year: The WWF Survivor Series!

Real talk- To this very day, no WWE event intros can hold a candle to the ones of the ’80s’ and early ’90s. If their sole purpose was to rile you up and make you want to suplex your little brother into the mashed potatoes, well then goddammit, they did their job!

Anyway, after the twelfth course of dinner, we all gathered around my grandparents’ oversized Magnavox floor television to witness wrestling mullet glory in all its splendor; with my eight-year-old ass popped squat right in front of this beast. Everyone was pretty excited for the entire program, with levels of exhilaration varying between us over what match we were most looking forward to. However, collectively we WERE VERY ANXIOUS for two things in particular with this Survivor Series: what the hell was in this giant egg that the WWF heavily hyped up in the weeks leading up to the program, and who, exactly, was this mystery Million Dollar teammate that “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase kept boasting about leading up to the feud group match with Dusty Rhodes and his American Dream Team?

Well, like I said. I’ll NEVER forget the intro made by DiBiase himself once the match was ready to get underway.

“I would like to introduce to you now my mystery partner. Led to the ring, by his manager, Brother Love, weighing in at 320 pounds, from Death Valley, I GIVE YOU, THE UNDERTAKER!” Followed by his signature maniacal laughter, (one that I always got a kick out of). And what came out of those tall, dark curtains leading to the arena was nothing short of a spiritual experience for everyone watching. I WAS IN AWE.

CHECK OUT THOSE DRUMSTICKS, BABY!

Roddy Piper took the words right out of our mouths: “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT HAM HOCK!!”

The debut of one of the most celebrated wrestlers in history, a man who’d go on to win seven WWF (now WWE) Heavyweight Championships, as well as 25 WrestleMania matches, is truly a golden moment in wrestling history. From his entrance alone, we initially expected a slow-moving superstar that relied on gimmick and strength, but holy FUCK we were so damn wrong.

The very first opponent to get a taste of the PHENOM, as announcers dubbed him later on, was appropriately the legendary Bret “The Hitman” Hart. However, Hart’s teammates Rhodes, Neidhart, and Koko B. Ware all got a graveyard-style ass-whoopin’ at the gloved paws of the Deadman- with Koko being on the receiving end of the very first Tombstone Pile Driver. Now again, with a man as large as Mark Calaway (The Undertaker) you can imagine our surprise when this dead-eyed wrestler started moving around the ring like a beautiful ballet with wrestling moves. His agility paired with intimidation tactics was quite remarkable and unlike anything I had personally seen in my short-lived life up until then. And I can personally say with confidence it hasn’t been matched since.

I’m just glad THIS was his epic debut and not that of the goddamn Gobbeldy Gooker where The Undertaker himself was scared to death thinking that HIS WWF arrival was going to be not as the iconic dead man, but this awful gimmick instead as he described in Steve Austin: The Broken Skull Sessions:

“So about the time I got my phone call, they were doing this promotion where, on the show — back then they’d do three or four weeks in a row — they had this gigantic egg on the set.  So this egg appears on the show, right? And all of a sudden my mind just starts going like, ‘Aw, man, they’re going to bring me in — now this is how outlandish the gimmicks were back then too — I’m going to be ‘Egg Man.’ I had convinced myself, to the point where my stomach hurt, that I’m going to be ‘Egg Man.’”

This Thanksgiving marks over 30 years since The ‘Taker stole the show in the WWE and watching his Boneyard Match with AJ Styles this past April, just proves my point all the more. The man is truly a goddamn treasure in the industry and he made a fan for life with me on that very first night in 1990.

And yep-this is my little tribute to the Phenom, OG and traditional style on my right-back shoulder done by husband and soulmate Bradley Pauley at our shop, Last Chance Tattoo. Funny enough, a few years back this picture made it to a tattoo list in Wrestlezone, and I just stumbled upon it accidentally. Oh, the internet is full of surprises.

Also, worth noting, is our seven degrees of separation with The Undertaker that actually includes our shop. Our dear, departed friend MoJo Thomas, who sadly passed away in 2020, was taught by Doc Dog and Smilin’ Paul of Las Vegas Tattoo Company-who initially was the artist of a few of Calaway’s tattoos! So yes, he was around while the Undertaker was getting drilled on his skin back in the early ’90s’ and I am so envious of this. Also, it’s a great story that intertwines a friend I miss dearly and one of my childhood heroes, and it had to be said.

Anyway, the debut of this magnificent specimen of a superstar definitely ranks up there as one of my favorite childhood pop-culture memories. So let’s relive it together with the magic of YouTube! Cheers to 30 years of non-stop beautiful, bone-breaking entertainment brought to you by the American Badass!

Owned by WWE

Rocky IV at 40: The GOAT of the Franchise Still Delivers Powerful Messages Relevant Today

I don’t exactly remember the first time I experienced Rocky IV in my youth, or any film in the franchise for that matter. What I do know is that the entire series was a normalized staple in the VCR rotation in my VERY ITALIAN household, and for all I know, with my family, I was probably born during Rocky III‘s Eye of the Tiger montage playing in the background- I mean, that would be a pretty sweet way to enter this world. What I do remember, however, is how this movie made me feel watching it not only as a kid, but as a grown adult as well who has faced underdog challenges throughout my forty-something odd years on this planet. And hey, who hasn’t gone through some type of their own personal hell these days, eh?

Up until my later teenage years when you know, I could get a job, buy things on my own and all that wonderful jazz, the only copy I had had of Rocky IV was on a recorded VHS that held three films in this order: Back to the Future, Rocky IV, and A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge; of which we dubbed “the Glorious 1985 Film Saga”. Even better was knowing these films were taped over some sort of aerobics rock exercise videos that would glitch in between each movie, which gave that Scotch homemade VHS some real 80s’ feel-goodness. It was pretty sweet.

Anyways, before I ramble on too much and get off-topic about my weird fetish for VHS recordings, let’s steer into the magnificent yesterworld of Vince DiCola /John Cafferty montages , a rare bearded-Sly, and slave robots.

Oh, and this really phenomenal James Brown number that is about as American as it gets that basically tell the Russian guests to lick their assholes. ‘MURICA.

The Rocky franchise is one of the very few series of films that holds a consistent theme of love and triumph that holds the attention of a variety of audiences, not specifying gender, age, or sexuality, as all can easily relate to feeling like an underdog in all areas of life. However, Rocky IV keeps these themes WHILE adding another life lesson: CHANGE.

1985 begat a very tense period of years between America and the Soviet Union, and Sly had no bones about making his own statement using his beloved character Balboa and his feelings on the situation. The film is riddled with symbolism, metaphors, and well, yes, montages, but hey, those testosterone-filled songs help drive those points home. Take an example, the exhibition match between Apollo Creed and Ivan Drago that starts this whole damn mess. Creed represents the stubborn nature and sometimes ignorantly arrogant nature of America while Drago shadows the very cold and uncertain ways about the Soviet Union. The two are destined to clash, and so they do. With America coming out like a puffer fish so very sure of itself, only to get pummeled, as you should never underestimate what your opponent could and will do to you. The boxing in these films no longer serves as a metaphor for “going the distance”. The athletic aspect in the film now rears into the horrifying world of a war between two powerhouse nations.

Drago is younger, stronger, and the most intimidating opponent Rocky has faced yet. To beat him, Rocky is gonna have to change his approach. He has to work harder. Train harder. Give it every goddamn thing he has if he is to literally come out of this mess alive. The Soviet Union was formed in 1922, and while this film is set 63 years later, in territorial terms, that is fairly young. So what does the Rock do? He sends himself into the lion’s den (the heart of Moscow) to train in the most barbaric and simplistic of ways possible. All while growing a most excellent machismo man beard scruff. Facing harsh criticism, unwelcoming neighbors and being babysat by Russian nationals all along the way, Rocky devotes every second of the day and night to strengthening not only his physique, but his mind as well to focus on one thing and one thing only-sheer victory.

Regarding the final fight, the imminent theme of change begins as our American hero is booed all the way to the ring. The entrance is dark, dank, and smells of uncertainty. Whereas Drago’s entrance tells the same tale only with a favorable crowd and a WAY more sinister feeling, we will definitely attribute Dicola’s Drago Suite to the anxiety in the room as we prepare for war.

As the fight progresses and the pair of soldiers are beating the ever-loving shit out of each other, the change begins. As Rocky, our series underdog, keeps taking the licks and getting back up, the communist crowd begins to favor the Italian Stallion and his perseverance. This of course, doesn’t sit well with the Russian officials overseeing the fight, and one of Drago’s main drug-dealers, erm, I mean overseers runs down to the ring to give him a good what-for. Drago ain’t having this shit and basically tells him to fuck off while throwing his little ass to the ground. Throughout the film, Drago is seen sort of like an object. A Russian robot slave with no authority over himself. This is the turning of the tides in the film where he is no longer fighting for anyone but himself. However, too little too late as Rocky has the upper hand with his unforgettable determination and gives him a good knock to the jaw, putting him out for good.

And then… the speech. The speech of change. A speech just as relevant now as it was then and will forever be so in this insane world that we live in, under constant threat, it seems, and not just from outside forces, but within ourselves in our own backyard, since the political climate has become so divided- I can say calling us the “United States” right now is laughable.

If we can band together to come to a consensus, regardless of our background, beliefs, we can live peacefully and without regret. The powers at be want anything BUT that, and by keeping us at each other’s throats with nonsense accusations, hateful speech, and unwilling discourse, they have us right where they want us. We must change. Listen to each other and take a lesson from Rocky before we become our own demise. There’s no easy way out, and there’s no shortcut home- but we can certainly try to get back to being civil to one another.

ROCKY IV (The Director’s Cut) is being re-released in theaters for its 40th anniversary, and of course, I would highly recommend seeing it on the big screen! Check your local showtimes on FANDANGO here.

Here’s the Facts: “Halloween II” is the Scariest Halloween movie of the Franchise

It’s been 40 years since studios practically begged Carpenter for a sequel to his monumentally successful Halloween movie; and an unforgettable one at that. I realize this might be a hot take dubbing Dick Warlock King Myers over his amazing predecessor Nick Castle- but I’ll die on this hill. Warlock scared the ever-loving shit out of me as a kid in this simply fantastic sequel more so than the original.

John Carpenter’s Halloween was everything a perfectly effective horror slasher should look like without the heavy gore effects. The film used tension-building sequences paired with genius camera work and of course, the infamous score by Carpenter himself that practically made the movie what it is today. When Halloween II came around three years later, the film allowed Myers to continue his killing quest but in a much more sinister tone; if that were even possible but hey- here we are. The sequel was Halloween on steroids (by 1981 standards anyway), with both an angrier Myers and soundtrack to accompany him during his “walk”, and it made The Shape that much scarier.

Here me out but first, enjoy the greatest pumpkin intro of the franchise that breaks apart into a grim, grinning skull foreshadowing that is a lot more evil and death was built into this installment so hold onto your kitchen knives ladies-especially YOU Mrs. Elrod!

Now, after Loomis unloads all his bullets into Michael and he simply just walks away from the scene, he slinks into a neighboring home occupied by the Elrods who are winding down from the night with a couple of ham sandwiches and a viewing of Romero’s Night of the Living Dead; or at least they think they are. Michael, in a very ballsey fashion, opens up the back patio door to the kitchen where Mrs. Elrod is preparing her sleepy husband some food, and had her back not been turned, she would have been extra meat for those sandwiches for sure. Myers just grabs the knife sitting on the cutting board and walks out, and Mrs. Elrod lets out a blood-curdling scream that would wake the dead once she sees the missing knife and drips of blood all over the counter. This then grabs the attention of her own neighbor, Alice Martin, who unfortunately doesn’t get away so lucky; and that’s when we see that Myers really isn’t fucking around in the sequel. In the first film, Myers, while it was at random, set his sights on a specific group and stayed the course. Even people getting in his way, by just basically being in his path, didn’t get the slash treatment. Marion Chambers, while he scared her goddamn good, he didn’t kill her. He just needed the car and he very well could have.

Same for little Lonnie- Myers seemed to get off just as well in putting a good fright into his victims while maintaining his kill course targets. BUT, Alice, performing her civic duty upon hearing her elderly neighbors’ screams, got her brutally murdered most viciously and we get our first real jump scare in the sequel. Why? My best-educated horror guess is because she WAS simply in his path and now we know that absolutely NO ONE is safe this time around.

It did its job too. Scared the piss out of me when I first saw it.

Moving on to a now hysterical Loomis who in the first film kept his composure throughout quite well, damn near shoots a kid because he is wearing a similar mask to Michael’s. May as well have anyway since we all know how that scene worked out. The good doctor, throughout the franchise sinks deeper into madness in his fight to stop Michael and, in doing so, endangers those around him. Just look what happened to poor Ben Tramer and then the deputy at the end of the film. The guy was just doing his job-he certainly didn’t ask for this shit.

That’s just terrifying.

Even more horrifying is the scene with the razor blade in the apple. Good LAWD seeing that as a child was traumatizing, almost even more so than Myers on a rampage itself. The lore and urban legends swirling around Halloween night of bastards putting arsenic and razor blades in candy for kids put the fear of GOD into a lot of parents and even some anxious kids as well. Well, in Halloween II they made it real, and it was real disgusting at that. Fairly brilliant writing to add that little extra tidbit in there. Also, full disclosure, for years as a kid, I thought this was an ice cube in the kid’s mouth until my father corrected me; and that totally blew my mind and horrified me. I’m all about transparency here.

Now, aside from a crazy Loomis, laced candy, and an angrier score by John Carpenter and Alan Howarth, we have to discuss the biggest sell here as to why Halloween II is much scarier than its predecessor- and that everyone is DICK WARLOCK.

Nick Castle did an absolute bang-up job as The Shape in the original, but it was Warlock’s menacing force of nature that gave Myers a more evil presence. Kind of like what Kane Hodder did for Jason Voorhees, Dick did for Michael and he nailed it as what I think, is the perfect personification of Michael Myers. Many see his moves as robotic in nature, but I think that is precisely what makes The Shape slightly scarier. As stated earlier, Myers is more focused and determined to get the job done this time around sort of like a Terminator. And honestly, would there be anything more terrifying than Michael Myers as a goddamn Terminator?! I think not… The guy walked through a glass door without hesitation without any problem to get to Laurie for fucks’ sake. Just straight through the thing! Or the fact he’s walking down a steep set of stairs without looking at his feet or holding onto anything in that mask that you and I both know is obstructive somewhat in the very least.

That’s just gangster.

Stabbing down at empty pillows, getting his hand almost caught in an elevator door, and his quick- jolt-like movements without using all of his body parts are just nothing short of brilliance on Warlock’s end. Without ever saying a word, a grunt, or even having that heavy breathing as pronounced as it was in the first movie, Warlock managed to give us a more pissed-off Myers and execute it perfectly. I just wish we would have seen more of him in subsequent sequels. But hey, we’ll always have his robotic, malevolent force in Halloween II and Season of the Witch.

Making a good argument for Halloween II being the scariest installment of the Halloween franchise isn’t a hard task, but hey if you disagree , let me know below! Also, if you haven’t already picked up this masterpiece, or have it in your collection, I always prefer the 30th-anniversary edition Blu-Ray from Shout Factory, as it contains the bonus feature of Terror In The Aisles! There are a few third-party sellers, and it’s most definitely worth having a copy of this one in particular.

Now if you know what death is like amazing grace sitting on your face, be sure and get this sequel in during Halloween week!