Category Archives: Editorials

Casualties Of Horror: Let’s Look At The Other “Halloween” Victims That Weren’t Killed By Michael Myers

Image September 23, 2024 Patti PaulterGeist 1 Comment

Let’s face it. Generally, most victims of the Halloween franchise don’t deserve to get gutted like a jack-o-lantern; and by an escaped lunatic at that. But what about the “casualties of the horror movie”? You know, the people not directly killed off by Michael Myers, but suffered an agonizing death for the sake of moving the film along. I mean, that’s pretty fucked up when you think about it. These people, who through no fault of their own nor had any connection really to the true victims’ in question, ended up getting fucked over all in the name of the slasher film.

And I’m here to salute the lot of you. So let’s celebrate in remembrance of the victims of the Halloween series for their civic horror service duty.

Ben Tramer

Poor Ben Tramer never got his giddy date with Laurie. Good ol’ Ben was mentioned in the first film as a particular love interest via Laurie, and Annie, later on, spilled the beans to him over the phone; embarrassing the ever-loving shit out of Laurie. In the sequel, we never see his face as he’s wearing the same mask as Myers, stumbling along on Halloween night in the middle of a manhunt for Michael. Spotted by Loomis, the doctor runs after him waving his gun, probably scaring the shit out of the kid who’s already pretty tipsy from a Halloween party. I’m sure the anxiety of the situation disorientates him as he walks in the middle of the road to his dire fate. A patrolman tries to screech to a halt, but the kid is hit and then smashed into another vehicle crushing his body; and then the cars explode, sealing the death deal! What a fucked up way to die.

Anyway, here’s the closest we ever got to see Ben’s actual face and the aftermath of the accident.

Buddy Kupfer Jr

Yeah so ok, everyone in Season of the Witch was killed off by Cochran and his goons while having nothing to do with the rest of the franchise or Myers entirely, but goddamn was this brutal, and hey; he and his family weren’t killed by Myers so I’ll allow it!

Anyway, we all know the masks are a disguised killing machine for kids all over the world that’s activated by the Silver Shamrock commercial. So when Dr. Challis gets to watch a demonstration of the masks work via the companies’ top salesmen and his family, it’s well… beyond messed up and an awful way to die, especially for a kid! I mean, holy shit this is overkill like that poor boy from Toxic Avenger. Cochran really hates children and in many ways, I think is WAY eviler than Michael. Say what you will about Myers, but he’s no child killer. (Not counting the newer films anyway).

Ted Hollister

“Shiiiyet Earl, it’s Ted Hollister!” – never gets old.

Another face we never get to see, (although the shooters claim to have seen it, LOL) is that of Ted Hollister, a random resident of Haddonfield in Halloween 4. Seeing as how the city’s police force had already been mostly wiped out from Myers, this lynch mob of private justice was the town’s only hope. Shot to death by Earl Ford, Allan and Orin Gateway, and Unger in overkill fashion in a frenzy of panic and anger as Myers is on the rampage yet again in his hometown. Guy was most likely sitting there enjoying that wonderful neighborhood ambiance on a Halloween night and got nailed for it with multiple shotgun blasts.

Dr. Terence Wynn

Dr. Terence Wynn is a character who first appeared in the original Halloween, played by Robert Phalen and presumably, Loomis’ superior. We don’t actually find out the “man in black” as presented in Halloween 5 is actually him until Curse of Michael Myers in 1995; but goddamn did he go on a rampage shooting up Ben Meeker and his entire police station in an effort to help Myers escape from his jail cell; AND with a machine gun! I guess being in the Cult of Thorn grants you access to high-powered firearms. ‘Merica.

H20’S Paramedic

Oh boy, this guy was an essential story and plot point to that Resurrection mess and all he get’s credited as is the “paramedic”. Now if that isn’t as fucked up as it gets then I don’t even know what could possibly surpass that. Getting mistakenly beheaded by Laurie and we don’t even have the name for the guy that sets it all up for Myers to return?!

Get the fuck outta here. Frank. Let’s call him Frank.

WE SALUTE YOU FRANK.

Willy The Kid/ Corey’s Bullies

Oh, Corey. So many people hated Halloween Ends, and in perfect Charles Cyphers fashion, everyone is entitled to one good-or bad opinion. Most of that hate stemmed from the fact most of the kills were performed by the new shape, Corey Cunnigham, as Myers at this point was withering away in a sewer like an old man. But, you know what? I rather enjoyed this fresh take. Sometimes it’s nice to see something new and different, ( Season of the Witch anyone)? I cheered for Corey. I wanted him to take down the bullies in particular. The ending was shit and sloppy as hell but everything else up to that point was pure glee for me personally. Love him or hate him, these kills were pretty cool and Michael Myers approved.

Special Consideration: Everyone Else at Haddonfield Hospital Killed in the Fire?

Why don’t we ever talk about the fact that Loomis, YES LOOMIS, blew up an entire wing of a hospital along with everyone in it just to kill Michael? I mean, that’s basic homicidal maniac behavior. And let’s not forget there were newborn babies in that place! Were they apart of that death count? No one can say for certain, however, if you recall from the Halloween II clip below where the deputy is accounting for “ten bodies so far” leads us to assume and acknowledge that the final death count has yet to be tallied.

Beyond the fire itself, the clinic, as it’s referred to isn’t that big as compared to a normal hospital square footage, and the smoke alone would travel from a gas blast such as that to other areas of the building rather quickly. I’m just not buying it that they all lived just fine through that wreckage. Which is absolutely devastating to even think about.

Anyways, thanks casualties of Halloween for laying down your lives for plot points. You deserve to be recognized.

Editorials

The Website, The Controversy, And The Dupe: Celebrating 25 Years of the “Blair Witch Project”!

Image July 14, 2024 Patti PaulterGeist 1 Comment

Love it or hate it, to deny that THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT made a monumental impact on horror films, indie films, and pop culture as a whole in the ’90s and beyond, would just be someone blowing a big fat bag of hot air into a bullshit fantasy cloud of delusion; and I think that’s me being rather gentle on the subject. Up until that fateful Summer of 1999, the “found footage” genre specter of the horror films sector was rather slim, only boasting a handful of films. One of the most famous ones being, of course, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (1980) and the sleeper video store hit THE McPHERSON TAPE (1989). Technically, if you want to count in PEEPING TOM (1960), which has some elements of found footage, then you could call it the first in its class. So while Blair Witch wasn’t the first to break the mold, they were the first to be wildly successful with it, and that brought along a string of found footage horror films to follow in an attempt to replicate the insane amount of fascination and ultimately, studio success, that Haxan Films gave the world in the Summer of 1999. Movies like REC, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, and CLOVERFIELD all have their place at the table. But the throne belongs to Elly Kedward- The Blair Witch, and this is her story.

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT was the brainchild of writers and directors Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez and followed three filmmaking students Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, and Joshua Leonard into the Black Hills of Burkittsville, Maryland, to make a documentary about the local legend of the Blair Witch. However, that local “legend” turned out to be all too real for them, and what ensued throughout the movie was nothing but pure anxiety and terror as we watched these college students slowly slip into a bottomless pit of pure fear. You could FEEL their emotions, and let’s face it: Heather’s “snotty” performance is memorable as hell. Even if you’ve never watched the film, (what the hell is wrong with you) when you see this picture, you know exactly what it’s from.

However, it was the hype leading up to this movie that really got us all to go see it. Before social media, word of mouth was the way to get the word out and a whisper campaign began of this secret website that had more information about this curious “documentary-style film” that was coming in the Summer of 1999. These innovators concocted a site dedicated to the lore of the Blair Witch and the missing students along with what we know as now, faux news footage, interviews, and a timeline of events leading up to their disappearance along with the discovery of their footage. Full stop, I spent hours on this thing going over details before AND after seeing the movie. For those curious, yes the website is still active thanks to the Internet archive!

The website packed us with information about the mysterious vanishings of these college kids along with an entire backstory on the haunting events of the area over the last hundred years. With the core of the legend is the story of Elly Kedward, a Blair resident accused of witchcraft in 1785 and sentenced to death in the woods by exposure to harsh conditions. The following year, all those who accused her and half the town’s children vanished without a trace, making way for the curse and the legend of the Blair Witch, with the townspeople leaving Blair and vowing to never mention Kedward’s name again.

The town was rediscovered in 1824 and renamed Burkittsville, and the following year, a ten-year-old girl named Eileen Treacle drowned in the shallow water of Tappy East Creek, with eleven eyewitnesses claiming that a ghostly white hand reached out of the water and pulled her in. Eileen’s body was never recovered.

In 1886, Eight-year-old Robin Weaver is reported missing, and the townspeople gather in a search for her. Although Weaver returns, one of the search parties does not. The young girl babbled about seeing “an old woman whose feet never touched the ground.” The men from the search party were found weeks later at Coffin Rock, tied together at the arms and legs and completely disemboweled.

Between November 1940 and May 1941 were the last of the haunting events for the next 50 years in Burketsville when during that time, seven children were abducted from the township and were found in the cellar of one, Rustin Parr. Parr, an old hermit, confessed to luring the kids into a cellar of an old house in the woods on the orders of an “old woman ghost”, and disemboweling them. He was then hung for the murders.

I just love all the goddamn dedication and little details that have been made throughout the years to keep this legend going.

Made with a budget of only $60,000, the film premiered at Sundance in 1999. Just hours after the midnight screening, the two young directors sold the film to Artisan Entertainment for $1.1 million. However, the “project” itself was actually years in the making. Sanchez and Myrick first came up for the concept as film students in 1991, and it wasn’t until 1996 that they had the means to actually begin realizing their vision. A call was sent out to find actors who not only fit the roles but could also be quick to improvise, as most of the dialogue was to be that way.

After almost a year of casting calls and auditions, the three were finally chosen and filming began in late October 1997; with the actors manning the cameras themselves for believable effect. The shoot took eight days and was a 24/7 operation. Using a GPS, the actors were directed to locations marked with flags or milk crates, where they’d leave their footage and pick up food and directing notes. According to an interview Myrick did with The Guardian about the notes:

“These would say things like: “Heather, you’re absolutely sure that to get out of this mess you go south. Don’t take no for an answer.” Or: “Josh, somewhere along the way today, you’ve had it with this bullshit.” They had the freedom to decide how to play it: we only intervened if we felt they needed to tone things down. Then there were the “gags” we’d pull at night that they had to react to – like hearing the children’s voices, or feeling the tent being shaken.“

To be frank, that tent scene with the kids’ voices in the background is, to this day, one of the most downright creepiest things in any horror movie. BRAVO because I almost peed my pants here upon my first time viewing it in a dark theater.

Myself and seven other close friends went opening weekend to a little hole-in-the-wall movie theater. I was seventeen at the time and what we witnessed was something otherwordly- especially my buddy Corey who couldn’t handle the camera shakes and ended up puking in his popcorn bucket. When we left the theater, we talked about the movie for at least two days. Did what we see really happen? Also, listen: It was 1999. The World Wide Web was barely six years old. Google wasn’t even a year old yet. You couldn’t just go online and discern anything about this movie or the actors with a ten-minute search. We were pretty sure we hadn’t just watched a snuff film, but information moved a lot slower and the studio was fantastic at keeping the actors hidden and unknown. If you saw it in the first week or so, there was no way to be absolutely sure. It was the first we’d seen of its kind and was a total mindfuck.

It wasn’t until the three actors appeared at the MTV Video Music Awards a few months later that I realized we were actually conned because these bastards showed up as presenters. I felt so damn betrayed, and angry, yet so enthralled that a movie had gone to such lengths to blur the lines between real and diction for horror fans. Not since CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, or after this, has a film shown that much dedication to the art of mystery.

I mean, unless you’re presenting an award to the Backstreet Boys, am I right? Looking back, if my angsty teenage self paid more attention to things like Access Hollywood and Jay Leno rather than Headbanger’s Ball, I probably would have known sooner.

Me, feeling sheepish.

For me, what makes The Blair Witch exceptional is the improvised acting. Because there was no script really, the conversations were natural and real. The actors themselves seemed like “normal, everyday people.” The character tropes of the douchebag, the slut, and the girl next door were never there. They all had their charms, their quirks, and their flaws with no apologies. Well, except for Mikey kicking that damn map in the river; that was kind of a douchebag move. Because of the internet and social media, nothing will probably happen like the Blair Witch Project ever again. They had almost everyone fooled it was real. On top of that, they made a fantastic horror film with a few people and a $700 camera.

So here’s to 25 years of one of the greatest horror flicks to come out of the 90s, and an impactful film you’ll never soon forget. And if you do, go stare at a brick wall in a basement until you remember.

Editorials

Five Horrifically Beautiful Traumatic Movies That Don Bluth Gave Us As Kids

Image June 17, 2024 Patti PaulterGeist Leave a comment

The 80s were a fantastic time to be a kid and a horror fan. If you were a product of this generation, chances are you were traumatized in one way or another by the dark delicacies of the media that gave absolutely ZERO fucks about not softening any blows when it came to life lessons in the form of movies and television. Whether it was watching Punky Brewster’s friend Cherie almost die in a fridge, or your grandma popping in a freshly rented VHS flick called WATERSHIP DOWN for the grandkids to watch because she thought it was a “lovely Easter movie”, we got hit with some messed up visuals that would never get past a writer’s discussion room in modern society. Which kind of pisses me off because I want my kids to experience something as cool and terrifying as a movie about the beloved Dorothy Gale getting sent to electric shock therapy and then facing off with a headless witch.

That’s some bullshit.

Anyway, one of the greatest culprits of true nightmare nostalgia for our childhood era is the great Don Bluth. For anyone unfamiliar or for Gen Z’ers, Don Bluth was a former Disney animator who made his mark as early as 1959 with Walt Disney’s SLEEPING BEAUTY, with his last animation directing credit with THE FOX AND THE HOUND before he left to start his own company in 1979- DON BLUTH ENTERTAINMENT. During the 1980s and 90s, he made a slew of gorgeous animated films that also, in turn, traumatized the shit out of a generation of kids.

And one animation for a video arcade game that I WOULD DIE TO SEE as a full-length movie.

Don Bluth radically distanced himself from his Disney days with animation he felt was more “pure” to the craft by keeping the hand drawn cel the way to go with his continuing work. The result was always one of passion and masterful craftsmanship that really pushed home some of the dark, and gritty themes Bluth films went balls deep with. That’s how you’ll always know you’re watch a DB movie. It always feels like something sinister is lurking right around the corner with the unnerving way he animated these films and of course, a central character always dies or has some type of serious traumatic event happen that in turn, spills into our own emotions, successfully grounding us into a euphoric depression. And I think somehow, as kids while it may have traumatized us, those moments served also as lessons that we, as children, needed to both see and hear for our own exponential growth and how to grieve in our own way.

Don Bluth never shied away from dealing with the shadows that are the human journey. Dealing with themes of sadness, loss, anger, and death remains a staple in almost all of his films. There were even moments where I felt like he was fucking with us and our emotions even more: Like when Littlefoot sees the shadow of what looks like his recently deceased mother but turns out to be his own, and he just sinks even deeper into depression. I was literally seven and screamed “FUCK YOU” to the screen while shedding my own tears; like goddamn was that necessary? But you know, looking back, it absolutely was. These are stages of grief, and it’s seen from the perspective of a child who had his world shattered. It really showed us kids that life isn’t all sunshine and fairytale castles. Bluth said, “This is life, little people. It’s a wild ride of emotions, and we need to talk about the realities of it.- also, fuck your feelings very much.”

That’s the best way I can describe a Bluth film, anyway. Narrowing it down to the top five movies that stayed with us through our childhood into adulthood from the DON of DARK ANIMATION was slightly challenging, but I think I got it right.

5. ANASTASIA (1997)

The legend of Anastasia comes to life in this late 90s Bluth entry about an orphaned Russian girl, the revolution surrounding her country, and the real-life villain of Rasputin (voiced by Christopher Lloyd). The animated reimagining of one of history’s darkest figures for a children’s film consists of the “wizard” in scenes where we see his eyes pop out, his jaws falling off as he lingers somewhere between life and death; much like the real Rasputin, who was infamously hard to kill, or so legend says. I mean, sure, what kid doesn’t love to see a decomposing evil wizard corpse do a full-on song and dance routine with his body parts popping off?

4. AN AMERICAN TAIL (1986)

AN AMERICAN TAIL was a personal favorite of mine as a little kid. The story of mice immigrants coming to America on a ship from Russia with SURPRISE, one little mouse named Fievel getting thrown overboard and being separated from his family; leaving little Fievel Mouskawitz on his own to navigate America on his own while he searches for his loved ones who presume him dead. This movie is where I also started to notice that perhaps Bluth is a dog guy rather than a cat person. I swear every film he makes, cats are villainous, vile creatures! Except for Tiger, anyway. The hoards of cats are almost downright terrifying and they really label them as bad animals! I suppose this was done metaphorically as immigrants, once upon a time, came to America thinking there was no violence in the streets. No cats in America? LOL. Let’s just stick with he hates cats.

That being said, Sir Derp of Derp of Pazuzu would like a word, sir.

With that out of my system, from the wave monster arising from the Atlantic Ocean that beats the hell out of the ship, and the reason Fievel gets knocked out to sea, to the Giant Mouse of Minsk, those two scenes in particular were visually pretty damn horrifying in such a beautifully artistic way. As a four-year-old, it successfully gave me nightmares, so hats off to a giant wooden rat with 20-foot-long teeth and the fact I would never ride on a boat until my teens because I was pretty sure I was going to get pummeled by a 100-foot wave monster man.

3. THE LAND BEFORE TIME (1988)

Yeah, well, we all very much know where this one is headed. One of Bluth’s most tragic films here just exhumes sadness at almost every turn leaning into the age of the dinosaur and the background of historic events that plagued the Earth at this time. Let’s also throw in a heavy scene where a mother is fighting to protect her child from being eaten by a T Rex and getting killed in the process. Exit stage left to an elongated scene of utter turmoil, and the dying mother mutters some final words of wisdom to her little one that “she’ll always be with him”. Make sure you have that Pizza Hut tie-in toy ready to clutch- If you don’t cry at this scene, you just might be a sociopath.

2. THE SECRET OF NIMH (1982)

An animal lover such as myself can find this movie extremely disturbing. Aside from all the beautifully dark imagery, the underlying tale of NIMH is sufficiently evil all on its own. Touching on the very real issues of cruel animal testing, rats and mice were taken to the NIMH labs and injected with needles full of fuck knows what.

One of these experiments led to their advanced intelligence and eventual escape, which brings us to another terrifying tale revolving around the struggles of love, betrayal, and ultimate power with the wife of one of the escaped NIMH mice, Mrs. Frisbey is on a journey to save her dying son.

Oh, and don’t forget again, the vicious terrible cat villain of the film!

Also, I can’t be the only one who thought that damn cave of bones-dwelling owl, was completely terrifying with those glowing eyes and no-nonsense demeanor. In fact, I know I wasn’t. So I’ll just leave Big Daddy Owl here for him to drum up some traumatic memories.

1. ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN (1989)

There are a few movies in my life that I make the conscious choice to never revisit, and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is one of them. It’s not because it’s a bad movie, it’s just that it’s way too sad. Again, being an animal lover, the last thing I wanted to face as a child was that my dog was, eventually, going to die. And while the sentiment of storytelling is that of the main title unless your dog is an absolute piece of shit I guess, is supposed to offer some comfort, all it did was make me cry- and a lot of other kids too. Hell, the story starts out of trauma hell already with street thug Charlie (voiced by Burt Reynolds), our main character mutt, being murdered and sent to Heaven where he of course can’t help himself and steals a pocket watch that allows him more time. Oh, but there’s punishment for that: when the watch stops ticking, he will be sent straight to Hell, where we get a nice sneak of it with dog skeletons and cat demons (because Bluth thinks kitties are the devil, right)!

He then befriends an orphaned little girl named Anne Marie who has been kidnapped and – you guessed it – coerced into forced labor by Carface, an evil dog who is also Charlie’s old partner and yep, murderer. Charlie forms a deep bond with the orphaned little girl, proving that his hardened heart can be softened but of course, dies at the end when she needs him most. However, the change in his attitude allows him to enter the pearly gates this time, for good.

What kills me most I think is learning about the death of Judith Barsi who voiced both little Anne Marie and Ducky (The Land Before Time) in a tragic murder-suicide at the hands of her abusive father after the fact, which really seals the deal in just how sad this movie really is.

Yeah, perfect bedtime story material, folks.