I don’t think I’m alone here when I claim there was nothing scarier on Prime-time TV than the glorious sounds and visuals of Unsolved Mysteries. Tuesday nights were always reserved for Robert Stack with me and my grandmother, and it was around the age of 7 when I had first laid my peelers on the majestic stance of the Stack and felt such excitement along with being scared shitless. Upon each week’s new episode of thrills, murder, and the paranormal after a fresh viewing, I would feel a sense of paranoia thinking escaped murderers were lurking in my backyard bushes. But, that was the magic ofUnsolved Mysteries, and watching it again with adult eyes thanks to the likes of FilmRise and other streaming apps, only validates it’s just as creepy now as it was over 35 years ago.
Each featured case was substantially creepy on its own, however, one, in particular, stood out to me in memory, and it has been cut and lost as the syndication gods butchered the episode, (and in truth-many others as well); compiling the segments into other episodes. Which totally fucks with my OCD and my memory. But hey, they released most of the episodes, and they are readily available to watch. I’m trying to keep in mind, a few years ago, it was nearly impossible to find any. So I’ll keep my bitching to a minimum. Anyways, we’re talking about the episode that aired October 26th, 1988- THE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES HALLOWEEN GHOST SPECIAL! Or Spooktacular- I prefer the latter.
We all know the legendary Queen Mary is an infamous supernatural ship. However, Unsolved goes balls deep, probably for the first time ever, on network television with eyewitness reports from employees and guests of the Mary ranging from weird noises to a woman saying she saw the ghost of an old lady diving into the ship’s swimming pool.
The Tallman’s Ghost segment lives in infamy in the minds of every 80s kid who watched this episode, and we’ve never been the same since. Listen, every episode of UM is sufficiently creepy on its own- but this one, however, scared the ever-loving piss out of me- and it seems like everyone else too. A family picks up a wooden bunk bed that is well — apparently haunted as the family’s children begin experiencing severe illness, whisperings of death threats from beyond the grave, and visions of arson to their own home… all wonderful things that come along with a demonic bunk bed from Hell.
Spirits from the 1800s seem to genuinely love this restaurant and Inn-including some famous ones like Edgar Allen Poe who had reportedly stayed there at one point. I wonder what’s on the menu… oh, that’s right, DECAPITATED HEADS! Yummo.
Lastly, we have the adorable Florida retired couple who harbor a ghostly roommate in their home, Jim and Kay Tatum. Occurrences of sounds of coins falling in a bowl, a mechanic drill turning on by themselves, and the ringing of bells throughout the house had Kay, specifically, believing their Floridian dwelling contained some sort of entity.
Was it just paranoia? Or was it ghooOOOosts? Either way, they’re a cute couple, so I couldn’t care less if they’re making up stories. You decide. Let’s watch the full episode in its entirety, thanks to the Internet Archive!
Let’s face it. Generally, most victims of the Halloween franchise don’t deserve to get gutted like a jack-o-lantern; and by an escaped lunatic at that. But what about the “casualties of the horror movie”? You know, the people not directly killed off by Michael Myers, but suffered an agonizing death for the sake of moving the film along. I mean, that’s pretty fucked up when you think about it. These people, who through no fault of their own nor had any connection really to the true victims’ in question, ended up getting fucked over all in the name of the slasher film.
And I’m here to salute the lot of you. So let’s celebrate in remembrance of the victims of the Halloween series for their civic horror service duty.
Ben Tramer
Poor Ben Tramer never got his giddy date with Laurie. Good ol’ Ben was mentioned in the first film as a particular love interest via Laurie, and Annie, later on, spilled the beans to him over the phone; embarrassing the ever-loving shit out of Laurie. In the sequel, we never see his face as he’s wearing the same mask as Myers, stumbling along on Halloween night in the middle of a manhunt for Michael. Spotted by Loomis, the doctor runs after him waving his gun, probably scaring the shit out of the kid who’s already pretty tipsy from a Halloween party. I’m sure the anxiety of the situation disorientates him as he walks in the middle of the road to his dire fate. A patrolman tries to screech to a halt, but the kid is hit and then smashed into another vehicle crushing his body; and then the cars explode, sealing the death deal! What a fucked up way to die.
Anyway, here’s the closest we ever got to see Ben’s actual face and the aftermath of the accident.
Buddy Kupfer Jr
Yeah so ok, everyone in Season of the Witch was killed off by Cochran and his goons while having nothing to do with the rest of the franchise or Myers entirely, but goddamn was this brutal, and hey; he and his family weren’t killed by Myers so I’ll allow it!
Anyway, we all know the masks are a disguised killing machine for kids all over the world that’s activated by the Silver Shamrock commercial. So when Dr. Challis gets to watch a demonstration of the masks work via the companies’ top salesmen and his family, it’s well… beyond messed up and an awful way to die, especially for a kid! I mean, holy shit this is overkill like that poor boy from Toxic Avenger. Cochran really hates children and in many ways, I think is WAY eviler than Michael. Say what you will about Myers, but he’s no child killer. (Not counting the newer films anyway).
Ted Hollister
“Shiiiyet Earl, it’s Ted Hollister!” – never gets old.
Another face we never get to see, (although the shooters claim to have seen it, LOL) is that of Ted Hollister, a random resident of Haddonfield in Halloween 4. Seeing as how the city’s police force had already been mostly wiped out from Myers, this lynch mob of private justice was the town’s only hope. Shot to death by Earl Ford, Allan and Orin Gateway, and Unger in overkill fashion in a frenzy of panic and anger as Myers is on the rampage yet again in his hometown. Guy was most likely sitting there enjoying that wonderful neighborhood ambiance on a Halloween night and got nailed for it with multiple shotgun blasts.
Dr. Terence Wynn
Dr. Terence Wynn is a character who first appeared in the original Halloween, played by Robert Phalen and presumably, Loomis’ superior. We don’t actually find out the “man in black” as presented in Halloween 5 is actually him until Curse of Michael Myers in 1995; but goddamn did he go on a rampage shooting up Ben Meeker and his entire police station in an effort to help Myers escape from his jail cell; AND with a machine gun! I guess being in the Cult of Thorn grants you access to high-powered firearms. ‘Merica.
H20’S Paramedic
Oh boy, this guy was an essential story and plot point to that Resurrection mess and all he get’s credited as is the “paramedic”. Now if that isn’t as fucked up as it gets then I don’t even know what could possibly surpass that. Getting mistakenly beheaded by Laurie and we don’t even have the name for the guy that sets it all up for Myers to return?!
Get the fuck outta here. Frank. Let’s call him Frank.
WE SALUTE YOU FRANK.
Willy The Kid/ Corey’s Bullies
Oh, Corey. So many people hated Halloween Ends, and in perfect Charles Cyphers fashion, everyone is entitled to one good-or bad opinion. Most of that hate stemmed from the fact most of the kills were performed by the new shape, Corey Cunnigham, as Myers at this point was withering away in a sewer like an old man. But, you know what? I rather enjoyed this fresh take. Sometimes it’s nice to see something new and different, ( Season of the Witch anyone)? I cheered for Corey. I wanted him to take down the bullies in particular. The ending was shit and sloppy as hell but everything else up to that point was pure glee for me personally. Love him or hate him, these kills were pretty cool and Michael Myers approved.
Special Consideration: Everyone Else at Haddonfield Hospital Killed in the Fire?
Why don’t we ever talk about the fact that Loomis, YES LOOMIS, blew up an entire wing of a hospital along with everyone in it just to kill Michael? I mean, that’s basic homicidal maniac behavior. And let’s not forget there were newborn babies in that place! Were they apart of that death count? No one can say for certain, however, if you recall from the Halloween II clip below where the deputy is accounting for “ten bodies so far” leads us to assume and acknowledge that the final death count has yet to be tallied.
Beyond the fire itself, the clinic, as it’s referred to isn’t that big as compared to a normal hospital square footage, and the smoke alone would travel from a gas blast such as that to other areas of the building rather quickly. I’m just not buying it that they all lived just fine through that wreckage. Which is absolutely devastating to even think about.
Anyways, thanks casualties of Halloween for laying down your lives for plot points. You deserve to be recognized.
Love it or hate it, to deny that THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT made a monumental impact on horror films, indie films, and pop culture as a whole in the ’90s and beyond, would just be someone blowing a big fat bag of hot air into a bullshit fantasy cloud of delusion; and I think that’s me being rather gentle on the subject. Up until that fateful Summer of 1999, the “found footage” genre specter of the horror films sector was rather slim, only boasting a handful of films. One of the most famous ones being, of course, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (1980) and the sleeper video store hit THE McPHERSON TAPE (1989). Technically, if you want to count in PEEPING TOM(1960), which has some elements of found footage, then you could call it the first in its class. So while Blair Witch wasn’t the first to break the mold, they were the first to be wildly successful with it, and that brought along a string of found footage horror films to follow in an attempt to replicate the insane amount of fascination and ultimately, studio success, that Haxan Films gave the world in the Summer of 1999. Movies like REC, PARANORMALACTIVITY, and CLOVERFIELD all have their place at the table. But the throne belongs to Elly Kedward- The Blair Witch, and this is her story.
THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT was the brainchild of writers and directors Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez and followed three filmmaking students Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, and Joshua Leonard into the Black Hills of Burkittsville, Maryland, to make a documentary about the local legend of the Blair Witch. However, that local “legend” turned out to be all too real for them, and what ensued throughout the movie was nothing but pure anxiety and terror as we watched these college students slowly slip into a bottomless pit of pure fear. You could FEEL their emotions, and let’s face it: Heather’s “snotty” performance is memorable as hell. Even if you’ve never watched the film, (what the hell is wrong with you) when you see this picture, you know exactly what it’s from.
However, it was the hype leading up to this movie that really got us all to go see it. Before social media, word of mouth was the way to get the word out and a whisper campaign began of this secret website that had more information about this curious “documentary-style film” that was coming in the Summer of 1999. These innovators concocted a site dedicated to the lore of the Blair Witch and the missing students along with what we know as now, faux news footage, interviews, and a timeline of events leading up to their disappearance along with the discovery of their footage. Full stop, I spent hours on this thing going over details before AND after seeing the movie. For those curious, yes the website is still active thanks to the Internet archive!
The website packed us with information about the mysterious vanishings of these college kids along with an entire backstory on the haunting events of the area over the last hundred years. With the core of the legend is the story of Elly Kedward, a Blair resident accused of witchcraft in 1785 and sentenced to death in the woods by exposure to harsh conditions. The following year, all those who accused her and half the town’s children vanished without a trace, making way for the curse and the legend of the Blair Witch, with the townspeople leaving Blair and vowing to never mention Kedward’s name again.
The town was rediscovered in 1824 and renamed Burkittsville, and the following year, a ten-year-old girl named Eileen Treacle drowned in the shallow water of Tappy East Creek, with eleven eyewitnesses claiming that a ghostly white hand reached out of the water and pulled her in. Eileen’s body was never recovered.
In 1886, Eight-year-old Robin Weaver is reported missing, and the townspeople gather in a search for her. Although Weaver returns, one of the search parties does not. The young girl babbled about seeing “an old woman whose feet never touched the ground.” The men from the search party were found weeks later at Coffin Rock, tied together at the arms and legs and completely disemboweled.
Between November 1940 and May 1941 were the last of the haunting events for the next 50 years in Burketsville when during that time, seven children were abducted from the township and were found in the cellar of one, Rustin Parr. Parr, an old hermit, confessed to luring the kids into a cellar of an old house in the woods on the orders of an “old woman ghost”, and disemboweling them. He was then hung for the murders.
I just love all the goddamn dedication and little details that have been made throughout the years to keep this legend going.
Made with a budget of only $60,000, the film premiered at Sundance in 1999. Just hours after the midnight screening, the two young directors sold the film to Artisan Entertainment for $1.1 million. However, the “project” itself was actually years in the making. Sanchez and Myrick first came up for the concept as film students in 1991, and it wasn’t until 1996 that they had the means to actually begin realizing their vision. A call was sent out to find actors who not only fit the roles but could also be quick to improvise, as most of the dialogue was to be that way.
After almost a year of casting calls and auditions, the three were finally chosen and filming began in late October 1997; with the actors manning the cameras themselves for believable effect. The shoot took eight days and was a 24/7 operation. Using a GPS, the actors were directed to locations marked with flags or milk crates, where they’d leave their footage and pick up food and directing notes. According to an interview Myrick did with The Guardian about the notes:
“These would say things like: “Heather, you’re absolutely sure that to get out of this mess you go south. Don’t take no for an answer.” Or: “Josh, somewhere along the way today, you’ve had it with this bullshit.” They had the freedom to decide how to play it: we only intervened if we felt they needed to tone things down. Then there were the “gags” we’d pull at night that they had to react to – like hearing the children’s voices, or feeling the tent being shaken.“
To be frank, that tent scene with the kids’ voices in the background is, to this day, one of the most downright creepiest things in any horror movie. BRAVO because I almost peed my pants here upon my first time viewing it in a dark theater.
Myself and seven other close friends went opening weekend to a little hole-in-the-wall movie theater. I was seventeen at the time and what we witnessed was something otherwordly- especially my buddy Corey who couldn’t handle the camera shakes and ended up puking in his popcorn bucket. When we left the theater, we talked about the movie for at least two days. Did what we see really happen? Also, listen: It was 1999. The World Wide Web was barely six years old. Google wasn’t even a year old yet. You couldn’t just go online and discern anything about this movie or the actors with a ten-minute search. We were pretty sure we hadn’t just watched a snuff film, but information moved a lot slower and the studio was fantastic at keeping the actors hidden and unknown. If you saw it in the first week or so, there was no way to be absolutely sure. It was the first we’d seen of its kind and was a total mindfuck.
It wasn’t until the three actors appeared at the MTV Video Music Awards a few months later that I realized we were actually conned because these bastards showed up as presenters. I felt so damn betrayed, and angry, yet so enthralled that a movie had gone to such lengths to blur the lines between real and diction for horror fans. Not since CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, or after this, has a film shown that much dedication to the art of mystery.
I mean, unless you’re presenting an award to the Backstreet Boys, am I right? Looking back, if my angsty teenage self paid more attention to things like Access Hollywood and Jay Leno rather than Headbanger’s Ball, I probably would have known sooner.
Me, feeling sheepish.
For me, what makes The Blair Witch exceptional is the improvised acting. Because there was no script really, the conversations were natural and real. The actors themselves seemed like “normal, everyday people.” The character tropes of the douchebag, the slut, and the girl next door were never there. They all had their charms, their quirks, and their flaws with no apologies. Well, except for Mikey kicking that damn map in the river; that was kind of a douchebag move. Because of the internet and social media, nothing will probably happen like the Blair Witch Project ever again. They had almost everyone fooled it was real. On top ofthat, they made a fantastic horror film with a few people and a $700 camera.
So here’s to 25 years of one of the greatest horror flicks to come out of the 90s, and an impactful film you’ll never soon forget. And if you do, go stare at a brick wall in a basement until you remember.
