Tag Archives: horror vhs

VCR HORRORS! When MSM Tried To Scare Parents Out Of Their Kids Renting Horror Movies

The 50s’ had soda shops. The 70s’, roller rinks; and the 80s’ were all about the Mom and Pop video rental store.

I’ve said it a million times here on the internet: Video rental stores were the key that unlocked the youth to the horror genre world and God fuckin’ bless them. Without my local rental store Action Video, I would have never seen such important visionary works like The Blob or Scanners, solely based on the beautiful VHS cover art alone. As a kid, it was the place to be on a Friday night. It was a beautiful ritual that included the important Naugles or McDonald’s dinner tradition (both in the same parking lot), doing “Jack Ass” type wheelies in the parking lot on our bikes after, and then Action Video for the latest and greatest selection in horror films.

Also, remember having those disturbing, “gross-out” parties with your favorite horror movies from said video store behind your parents’ backs? Yeah, me neither. My parents gave zero fucks if I came home with A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master. However, according to an ABC 20/20 special with Barbara Walters, we were doing some pretty horrific things with said movies. Yeah sure, it’s all the rage renting horror films that will shape our future as the next great Serial Killer.

Just writing that sentence out made me laugh out loud. I mean, just because Jeffrey Dahmer loved the Exorcist III, doesn’t mean I’m going to watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre a few times and then go on a mechanic rampage with a gardening tool, wearing people’s skin on my face.

Sounds like fun, but I think I might pass on that.

While the scare attempt is laughable at best, it does ring all the nostalgic bells for those of us who have such fond memories of said good times at the Video Store. It also really puts me in the mood to flip on some Splatterhouse University or Evil Dead. So it certainly isn’t all to be seen as a negative thing. More so just pure comedy that triggers me to watch all the cheesy horror flicks I can squeeze into one day.

Although, I have to state the greatest thing about this is the kids that are interviewed for the segment. Watching their little faces light up like Ralphie on Christmas morning when he gets his Red Ryder BB gun as they gush over films like Slumber Party Massacre just melts my heart. This was our youth. THIS is how we felt as young horror fans. Except for that Caston Jarvis kid. What a misguided individual that one is. Someone get him a snickers.

Then of course thankfully, there are the positive highlights of this news story that light the voice of reason into logic. Interviews with strong genre voices like horror author Chas Balun, horror Queen Linnea Quigley, and Witchboard‘s Walter Josten defend this nonsense fear-mongering and I couldn’t be more proud. Josten in particular, stated so perfectly, “It’s nothing worse than what you would see on the news.” And I fully agree there could never be a truer statement as reality (especially now more than ever) is way more terrifying than any horror movie you could put in front of me.

Watch. Laugh. Bask in the nostalgia of how horror movies warped our fragile little minds and made us psychopaths.

It’s A BOY Video Retailers! The Rare 1990 VHS Retailer Promo For “The Dream Child”

Long live the days of Mom and Pop video rental stores and the VHS early screener promos that today, serve as a lost art of visual romance. Especially for us horror enthusiasts. Because hey, who DOESN’T want to see Chucky bust out an awful yet incredibly entertaining rap about how great the Child’s Play movie is?

In case you’re not hip to what the hell a VHS screener may be, basically, it’s an early release of a VHS tape sent to video store owners that will ultimately either sway them to stock the shelves with said movie or give it a hard pass. In addition, some of these screeners would be sent to the media for reviews. Hard to imagine a time where critics would have to actually wait on the postman to deliver physical media as opposed to a screener email that can be obtained in under 60 seconds, eh?

Oh, how the world has changed. And Freddy is hard at work here taunting a sleazy marketing rep in this delicious ball of cheese VHS promo for Dream Child.

nightmare 5.gif

In my humble opinion however, that’s what makes these clips so great and a must-see for any movie fan. While it seems as if Robert Englund may have skipped the on-screen promotions for this installment doubled with a not-so-great-look-alike, and it sort of comes across as a second-rate porno without the boner shots, the promo still gives some great info on the film. It also totally reminded me about that gem of a rap, Whodini’s “Anyway I Gotta Sing It” that included a special music video featuring clips from NOES 5- which you can watch here. Trust me, you don’t want to miss that national treasure.

So here it is! The unconventional, yet weirdly awesome VHS promo for A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child! Might want to watch it before Susan gets any ideas…

Special thanks to Youtuber Jason H. for uploading this diddy.

 

 

Etsy Shop NancyJars Has All New VHS Lamps and More Available For Your Retro Decor Needs!

It was about this time or so a year ago when I came across a little Etsy shop by the name of NancyJars that instantly made me jizz all the retro fuzzies, (for my phantom dick’s sake humor me here). The glowing VHS lamp was so simple, yet so brilliant. And I needed to write about it immediately. Soon thereafter, other online websites caught on to Etsy seller Hayley Summers’ creativity and thus further contributing to an overload of orders and an assurance, that Miss Summers had her work cut out for her. However, it also meant that others out there like myself, knew that this was something special. And by the beard of Zeus, since then, Summers work has grown beautifully and the Etsy shop is bigger and brighter than ever!

Just look at this splendid national treasure fellas. 

crystal lake vhs

CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE VHS LAMP

While many copycat sellers have sprouted from the depths of VHS illumination since then, make no mistake here boils and ghouls. This is the original innovator of retro renovations of the VHS and now, audio cassettes of its kind! With the shop fandom growing, Summers has added all new pieces of nostalgic decor goodness to the NancyJars Etsy boutique for anyone looking for that retro flair for your little man-cave or beaver-dam. In addition to the original VHS Lamp of glory, the shop now has upgraded versions of the lamp with killer art, VHS Cover clocks, wall hanging VHS art, custom Cassette art, and all new GOLDEN VHS Lamps dedicated to the golden age of cinema monsters!

Check out a few of these beasts.

 

 

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

 

NancyJars happily caters to custom orders so if you have a particular idea you’d like to see VHS’d out, just contact the shop directly and you’re on your way to having one of the coolest pieces out there any cinephile will love! Visit NancyJars here to peruse the hundreds of options and follow Summers’ work on Instagram!