I don’t think I’m alone here when I claim there was nothing scarier on Prime-time TV than the glorious sounds and visuals of Unsolved Mysteries. Tuesday nights were always reserved for Robert Stack with me and my grandmother, and it was around the age of 7 when I had first laid my peelers on the majestic stance of the Stack and felt such excitement along with being scared shitless. Upon each week’s new episode of thrills, murder, and the paranormal after a fresh viewing, I would feel a sense of paranoia thinking escaped murderers were lurking in my backyard bushes. But, that was the magic of Unsolved Mysteries, and watching it again with adult eyes thanks to the likes of FilmRise and other streaming apps, only validates it’s just as creepy now as it was over 35 years ago.

Each featured case was substantially creepy on its own, however, one, in particular, stood out to me in memory, and it has been cut and lost as the syndication gods butchered the episode, (and in truth-many others as well); compiling the segments into other episodes. Which totally fucks with my OCD and my memory. But hey, they released most of the episodes, and they are readily available to watch. I’m trying to keep in mind, a few years ago, it was nearly impossible to find any. So I’ll keep my bitching to a minimum. Anyways, we’re talking about the episode that aired October 26th, 1988- THE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES HALLOWEEN GHOST SPECIAL! Or Spooktacular- I prefer the latter.

Now… Join me.

GHOSTS OF THE QUEEN MARY

We all know the legendary Queen Mary is an infamous supernatural ship. However, Unsolved goes balls deep, probably for the first time ever, on network television with eyewitness reports from employees and guests of the Mary ranging from weird noises to a woman saying she saw the ghost of an old lady diving into the ship’s swimming pool.

The Tallman’s Ghost!

The Tallman’s Ghost segment lives in infamy in the minds of every 80s kid who watched this episode, and we’ve never been the same since. Listen, every episode of UM is sufficiently creepy on its own- but this one, however, scared the ever-loving piss out of me- and it seems like everyone else too. A family picks up a wooden bunk bed that is well — apparently haunted as the family’s children begin experiencing severe illness, whisperings of death threats from beyond the grave, and visions of arson to their own home… all wonderful things that come along with a demonic bunk bed from Hell.

The General Wayne Inn

Spirits from the 1800s seem to genuinely love this restaurant and Inn-including some famous ones like Edgar Allen Poe who had reportedly stayed there at one point. I wonder what’s on the menu… oh, that’s right, DECAPITATED HEADS! Yummo.

 The Tatum House

Lastly, we have the adorable Florida retired couple who harbor a ghostly roommate in their home,  Jim and Kay Tatum. Occurrences of sounds of coins falling in a bowl, a mechanic drill turning on by themselves, and the ringing of bells throughout the house had Kay, specifically, believing their Floridian dwelling contained some sort of entity.

Was it just paranoia? Or was it ghooOOOosts? Either way, they’re a cute couple, so I couldn’t care less if they’re making up stories. You decide. Let’s watch the full episode in its entirety, thanks to the Internet Archive!