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If There Were Ever Another Halloween Movie Sequel, We Need To Start From Halloween 4

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HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS has been and always will be one of my favorite movies of all time. I can’t say with a straight face that I prefer the 1978 classic over Michael’s triumphant return to Haddonfield, because that would just be lying to myself, and you and I have goddamn integrity. While I don’t believe in my dark Halloween heart RETURN to be the best overall in the franchise, it’s the one that, I personally, have the most fun watching and is the most nostalgic for me as an 80s kid. I also believe that this massively magnificent movie got insanely fucked with its follow-up sequel REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS, as RETURN laid out the perfect continence of the Lloyd and Myers legacy, just to throw it all away for some shadow-man douchebag and the beginning of the THORN story.

This was a mistake that I can never get past and on the year of HALLOWEEN 4‘s 35th Anniversary, I’m screaming into the void that we don’t want, but NEED that story to continue as originally panned out IF there were ever another Halloween sequel/reboot/remake… whatever.

Because you know, as well as I do, that is eventually going to happen whether you like it or not.

The cat and mouse game between Loomis, Myers, Jamie and the greatest final girl of the franchise, Rachel, is tension-driven throughout the whole film without it ever becoming cheesy or even cliché for a slasher flick. The nighttime aesthetic is gorgeous as hell, with those ominous blues and blacks washing over the screen, falling over a silent street where death awaits. Not to mention during the day when October 31st can practically be smelled through the screen. The opening credits alone set the tone for the entire film, and it never faltered beyond that.

HALLOWEEN 4 provided the fans what they wanted after the box-office bomb and, at the time, mostly universally hated continuance of the HALLOWEEN franchise with SEASON OF THE WITCH. Michael was back from the dead, and so was a now more than ever obsessed Loomis hot on Myers’ track after his escape and brutal murder of some EMTs from a hospital transfer; who is now after Jamie Lloyd, the daughter of the recently Laurie Strode and one and only living relative of Michael. Of course, in pure tradition, Myers has to off every member of his family to appease his homicidal Samhain compulsion, so the eight-year-old is on his most wanted list.

Jamie (Danielle Harris), now in the sole care of the Carruthers’ family after the untimely death of her mother only eleven months prior, is mercilessly bullied at school, feels like an outcast and a burden to her foster family, while seeming to not have many friends. The perfect makings of a serial killer, eh? Despite our sympathy for the child, these subtle hints come full-circle in the finale of the movie after Myers is shot down in a cemetery by what’s left of Haddonfield’s finest after Michael done near killed half the town already. In the film, Jamie is sort of pulled towards a laid-out Myers and grabs his hand in a sort of sweet, yet weird way, (like, this guy was trying to kill you sweetie, WHAT THE FUCK are you doing). She’s almost in a trance-like state until the sheriff and Rachel scream at her to get out of the way before unloading 10,000 bullets into Michael, putting him out of the business of Halloween murdering for good. Or, well, at least this year anyway.

Back at the Carruthers’ residence in the aftermath, Jamie’s foster mother is drawing a bath for the child when her screams are heard downstairs among the survivors of the night. Loomis, running halfway up the stairs looks in horror as Jamie is seen in her costume, mask donned with sporting a pair of bloody scissors implying she killed her foster mom, giving new life to the Myers legacy as his spirit lives on inside her.

NOW THAT WAS A PERFECT ENDING.

Some theories would argue that Myers “spirit” leaped into Jamie when she touched his hand in the cemetery. However, I’m inclined to believe Jamie was fighting these demons throughout the entire movie. With the biggest evidence being the scene inside Vincent Drug where she pulls the same costume as her uncle once wore when he was a child. Almost as if it were fate that this was the perfect costume. Is the costume evil itself?! That’s a personal theory that I would love to expand on, or hell even see some sort of sister made from, but nah. I think Jamie just has it in her blood. No matter how hard she tries to fight it, the subconscious compulsion that was buried deep inside her, finally takes over, and it was in Myers death that it was allowed to fully reveal itself.

In the novelization by Nicholas Grabowsky, this theory is actually given some credence as it’s written when Jamie is in the school hiding from Michael, she sees a vision of her dead mother in a nightgown, begging Jamie to “not give in and allow Myers to take her” and to “snap out of it”. This, along with other expanded scenes, was released in the updated version of the book back in 2003- and I HIGHLY recommend any HALLOWEEN fan picking it up.

Also, worth noting in the book, the good Reverend Jack Sawyer has a prominent role being stinkin’ drunk off corn whiskey all through the way and at one point, actually comes face to face with Michael Myers, So if you’re a fan of damnation mister, you’ll definitely want to read on his expanded adventures.

All that being said, IF there were to be a continuance of the Halloween films in any sort of way whatsoever, I think a direct continuation from HALLOWEEN 4 would be the best bet and actually make up for the bullshit storyline that did my girl Rachel real dirty in HALLOWEEN 5. Don’t get me wrong, I have soft nostalgic spots for REVENGE; but it’s not what it should have been.

Seeing as how HALLOWEEN 4 was made 35 years ago, the obvious way to make this story work in continuing form would be an adult Jamie (Danielle Harris of course) rotting away in a mental asylum just like her uncle before her and in traditional fashion, have her escape and go after her foster sister Rachel, WHO IS STILL ALIVE BECAUSE FUCK HALLOWEEN 5, and we have a goddamn movie. Of course, the clown mask would have to come into play as Jamie’s murder shrouds to legitimize it because her picking up her uncle’s mask might just be too cliché and predictable. Jamie would need to have her own persona for it to work, and Harris has the chops to do it.

If Universal is actually listening, far-fetched I know, throw this idea on the writer’s table because we all damn well know you all are thinking about it already!

What are your thoughts? Should we let sleeping boogymen lie, or should the HALLOWEEN franchise take this direction in the future?

Lists

Nightmare Nostalgia Ranks The “Halloween” Franchise Opening Credits!

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One of the greatest memories of my childhood was the multitude of horror movies that were introduced to me through my Dad and Grandfather (Pop-we called him). Pop was a passionate fan of ALL Universal Horror Monsters films, and on top of watching them endlessly by his side on the nights the grandparents would babysit, I would often admire his complete Universal Monsters VHS Collection and the artwork embodied within it. However, my Dad, albeit a super Frankenstein himself, was more on the Slasher spectrum. And, by the way, is the biggest John Carpenter’s Halloween fan I know. It sounds biased, but being inside the horror community for fifteen years, I stand by that statement- and you could read more about that here.

That being said, the Halloween films were a pretty standard rotation in the ole’ VCR growing up and hell still are. And while I’ve found this to be a pretty common list among the horror website interwebs, they sure as shit aren’t my opinion and that of the greatest Halloween fan I know! So, here we go: Nightmare Nostalgia’s official ranking of all the Halloween opening credits!

I truly feel like I’m really going to make some of you mad. BUT, just remember, my opinion is not yours and we can all agree to disagree!

And no: I’m not including the Rob Zombie versions because of NO.

11. Halloween: Resurrection

With many fans, Resurrection ranks dead last in pretty much all aspects; and here on this list is no exception. Following a very generic version of John Carpenter’s classic tune paired with pitch-black backgrounds and orange credit lettering, we stroll down the halls of the Grace Sanitarium Institution where we meet a seemingly docile Laurie and a pair of nurses who narrate to the audience the very bullshit story of why she’s there. It just sucks when in comparison to ALL the others. Sorry, not sorry.

10. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

In my opinion, and well that’s what this all is, Curse’s opening doesn’t fair much better than Resurrection. The only reason it’s a slot higher is that it’s a lot shorter. The messy intro here that clumsily inserts parts of the film in the damn thing merely sets the tone for the rest of it. One big mess. However, as big a mess as it is, it still isn’t the worst in the franchise by far. Resurrection still holds that title belt.

9. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Ahhh, here we are. The last of the original pumpkin intros in the franchise-up until 2018 of course when they resurrected it. Personally, I rather enjoy the low-key angry tone behind this one in combination with the process of what I would call, The Wild Maniac World of Pumpkin Carving Sports here. However, compared to others before it, it falls short.

8. Halloween H20

The cool newspaper clippings and a throwback to Samuel Loomis speaking his infamous words on what Myers eternally represents is a pretty cool change and so very 90s.

7. Halloween Kills

Halloween Kills may have been a shitshow as far as a decent follow-up to its 2018 predecessor, but at least the pumpkin opening credits were on point. In fact, it’s probably the best party of the whole movie, aside from the throwbacks from the original film.

6. Halloween (2018)

One can certainly appreciate the return of the pumpkin intro via the 2018 franchise’s homecoming. And in such a unique form as the jack-o-lantern has fallen flat and laid dormant for many years, only to be blown up into its original form. Like it never missed a beat. Truly an honorable way to start the Myers madness again!

5. Halloween Ends

For many fans, it seems, Halloween Ends falls way down in the ranks as far as a decent film in the franchise. I definitely have my own opinions on what worked and what didn’t. But overall, it’s certainly not a bad movie. As a huge fan of Halloween III, I can totally appreciate the homage to Season of the Witch here and the idea of Myers passing the torch. Although they’ve tried to do this many times in slasher films, it feels like the studios can’t grow the balls to actually go through with it. I would be OK with Corey continuing the legacy. But now, and it will happen again, we’ll just get another goddamn reboot in 10 years. Oh well, at least the opening rules.

4. Halloween (1978)

Alright. This is the one that MIGHT trigger some pissed-off feelings from fellow fans with regard to ranking. But, I feel like some of the follow-ups were just a smidge more intriguing to my senses. It’s classic, simple, and a perfect start to the Haddonfield journey, whereas the original film was simplistic yet effectively terrifying.

3. Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Love the movie or hate it (and yes it’s still an argument), you are very wrong if you deny the magnificence of thy Magic Pumpkin paired with a sinister synthesizer. The onset of the 80s’ included the launch of a new wave and MTV and this was a perfect representation of what early 80s horror films looked and sounded like. It’s just a staple of an era that many have since used as inspiration- including Stranger Things.

2. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

The return of Myers meant a ditch off the recurring pumpkin intro this time around with a spine-chilling sequence of a sunset on a farm instead. The ambiance of a sinister Autumn setting with the low-tone score, the winds blowing, and Halloween decorations swaying in the breeze always struck the skeevies chord with me. That Michael is still out there. Waiting- and coming soon.

1. Halloween II (1981)

There is just no way in Haddonfield Hell that anyone can convince me otherwise that the sequel to the original isn’t the greatest goddamn gift we’ve ever been given in this franchise. Well, as far as appeasing intros are concerned, anyway. Opening with the events of the last film spilling over to start the continuing journey of cat and mouse between Myers and Laurie, we roll into a perplexed Loomis staggering outside the Doyle home to the spot where Michael had dropped, and only a pool of blood remains. Garnering attention from (finally) a nosy neighbor who has ignored all the blood-curdling screams, and apparently is just NOW paying attention to what’s been going on right next door, annoyingly asks if this is a joke and that “He’s been trick or treated to death tonight.” This leads into one of the greatest lines of this fuckin’ franchise from Loomis himself- “You don’t know what death is!” Who then scurries off around the corner in a wild state.

And then-the glorious, more angry pumpkin intro this time around. The score is more aggressive, much like in the rest of the film, coinciding with an angrier Myers. The pumpkin cracks down the middle to reveal a skull. The symbol that death is coming and isn’t stopping for anyone.

So good.

What’s YOUR favorite Halloween opening sequence? Discuss below in the comments!

Horror Nostalgia

Celebrating the Most Nostalgic Halloween Episode of “Roseanne”- “BOO!”

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Halloween in the 80s ruled, there’s no question about that. It would be easy to say us “old timers” look at Halloweens’ past with beer-goggles, but I contest that those who actually experienced Halloween in the 80s as a kid, would tend to agree. From the school parades, to sacks of great candy from more than just a few houses giving out diabetic comas to eager kids on that night under the orange and yellow glow of a Halloween moon, people seemed to be more than willing to participate by today’s standards. And, lest us never forget, the glorious myriad of Halloween specials that were never in short supply on the boob tube. Syndicated shows often jumped on the holiday bandwagon, creating a special episode for the Halloween spirit, but nobody EVER did it better than ROSEANNE– and you can take that to the garage with a chainsaw.

Running for nine seasons and except for the first and last season, ROSEANNE didn’t miss a beat with those faithful Halloween episodes glorifying the holiday. While they’re all pretty damn great for their own reasons, the most nostalgic is the very first Halloween special, Season 2-Episode 7, “BOO!”.

There’s just so much to love about this particular special. You can practically smell the crisp Autumn morning air from the opening shot alone.

Seriously, the only thing that rivals this is the opening to HALLOWEEN 4.

This episode does nothing more than just reinforce my love for the holiday and stands as basically the ultimate guide on how to do Halloween right folks. And that would be including subtle things like Jackie’s chattering skull pin and orange cassette tape of “Sounds From the Haunted Mansion”.

As the episode goes, it’s Halloween and the Connors are in full-swing of the festivies with a prank war going on between Dan and Roseanne over which of the two are the undisputable “Master of Halloween”. All the while, the fam is gearing up for the night by transforming their residence at 714 Delaware St into… THE TUNNEL OF TERROR. Which is what everybody basically calls this episode anyway because it’s so damn unforgettable.

With little zombie ninja DJ answering the door to welcome the trick-or-treaters, Roseanne steps in and leads them through the living room into Dan with an ax protruding in his head. The room is decorated in all kinds of great stuff when you’re looking for it. One of my favorites is the skull blow mold on the wall by the door!

From there, we’re led into the kitchen, where Becky dressed as an armless Stewardess is cooking up something special for the little ghouls. I would imagine that is Darlene’s hand coming out of the pot since she isn’t seen anywhere else on the tour, but that is just me Sherlocking the shit out of everything until I get a migraine.

And everybody’s favorite jump scare in the tour!

The kids are led out into the laundry room for a hasty exit where the less spooky Crystal and her son Lonnie lead them to safety.

And since Darlene doesn’t visually make an appearance through the Tunnel of Terror, I would be doing a disservice to the world if we didn’t acknowledge her ode to Pinhead for the evening.

Oddly enough, some of my favorite decorations seen in the show don’t even make it into the grand tour! In the aftermath in the garage, Roseanne is shown committing a Halloween crime of throwing out some magnificent die-cuts. It was at that moment when Dan came in dressed as Jason with a chainsaw that I myself, decided Dan was the clear winner of the night. Regardless of how the episode ended with Roseanne scaring the shit out of her husband with telling him that her parents were coming to stay with them for a month. Sorry, but I just can’t overlook that sort of travesty.

Long gone are the days when people would put this kind of effort into kids for Halloween. Although I think folks like this still exist, I would put money on the fact it’s far and in between these days. It’s not something I see much of anymore in my personal experience over the past few years, and unless people start taking hints from these ROSEANNE Halloween extravaganzas’, I highly doubt it will change.

Regardless of your personal feelings on Roseanne in the present, she, and this episode in particular, taught us all that you’re never too old for Halloween. Growing up is stupid, and we all should be letting out that inner demon child residing in our souls that Halloween brings out of all of us. Just as with “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Garfield’s Halloween Adventure, or the standard John Carpenter’s Halloween, the “BOO!” episode is in steady rotation around here as it’s just not Halloween without at least two or three viewings of this nostalgic piece of 80s Halloween history.

That being said, get to streaming it on Peacock otherwise, as Roseanne would say, you might go straight to Hell! And remember, there’s no chocolate in Hell; erm, no chocolate with caramel at least.