Tag Archives: horror

Las Vegas Universal Horror Unleashed- Haunted House Review

Not since the days of MGM’s Scream Park which ran for a few years in the late 90s, has horror hit Vegas on such a massive scale, addressing the desired need for a proper haunt for Las Vegas locals and horror fans alike. The only suitable and worthy of noting haunt for the Vegas Valley, which has been running for the last 30 or so years, is the Mollner (JT Mollner of MY STRANGE DARLING, and THE LONG WALK) family’s FREAKLING BROS. But as with Halloween, the haunt comes and sadly goes, leaving people like me Halloween blue balls for the rest of the year. With UNIVERSAL HORROR UNLEASHED located in Zone 2 of AREA 15, the haunt experience doesn’t see an end on November 1st. And you know what? It’s about time we as a society got a year-round haunt. I’m tired of living like a Halloween gopher only to burrow back into a hole once November arrives.

We arrived as soon as the place opened and were greeted right away with a haunting mist and a lovely vampire and her slave gimp priming you up for what lies ahead in the haunts. With 100,000 square feet of horror play at your fingertips that include scare actors on the ground, AND in the air, this place is BUILT like a horror fan’s personal playground. While it is a Universal property, it is NOT like Halloween Horror Nights at Orlando or Hollywood. For one, it’s air-conditioned, thank fucks, and for me, it was a way more intimate experience. Also, as someone who wears the wrong shoes all the time, I appreciate that it is super walkable.

As for the haunted houses, there are four in total inside Unleashed so let’s dive right into each one- I mean, that’s why you’re here, right?

The Exorcist: Believer

If you loved THE EXORCIST: BELIEVER, then you’re going to thoroughly enjoy the shot for shot storytelling of this haunt. This house in particular was the easiest to navigate through, perhaps because it was better lit than the others, and it jam packed with things to look at. The detail in BELIEVER was absolutely insane, so if there wasn’t a scare actor jumping on my ass every 5 seconds, mind you I’m not bitching about that, I would have lingered in every room just to inspect all the fine attributes that went into making this. My only gripe really is that I would have loved to see the iconic Pazuzu face appear somewhere along the way. Yeah, I know it’s not in this movie in particular, but it would have been a nice touch.

The Scarecrow: The Reaping

This is an original concept built specifically for Las Vegas and this is the one that felt the Halloweeniest of all four haunts. The aesthetics of the outside rival that of the HALLOWEEN 4 opening, albeit a much darker version, with a breeze in your face, lots of hay, and jack o’ lanterns abundant, you can smell Autumn here, and it is damn glorious. Now, because it was pitch black dark inside, the photos I took didn’t take kindly without a flash, (with respect flash cameras were off limits due to obviously that being rude as fuck to the actors and other haunt goers) So, no inside look here, but you can use your imagination. So just picture a really pissed off PumpkinHead-like Scarecrow popping out from every corner of this farmhouse and a corn maze outside. It definitely sets the mood for the upcoming season and was spectacularly done.

UNIVERSAL MONSTERS

Let me just get this out of the way real quick: whoever that scare actor is who plays DRACULA, give that man a raise and keep him happy, Universal. That guy hammed up every second of his performance and I ate that shit up like Halloween candy.

Anyway, I truly love that Universal knows it roots and respects it with the Universal Monsters because without them, they probably wouldn’t be around as those films paved the way for the rest of Universal’s history. The haunt incorporates all the famous monsters we know and love as they each have their own little corner of mischief and mayhem. The set design is gothically delightful and while yes, the jump scares were executed flawlessly, it was a weirdly joyful to just walk around in there. Which most likely I can attribute to being exposed to these films while I was in diapers. Sweet horrific nostalgia. More of this, please!

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

The review you’re about to read is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of two (not so) youths… the tragedy being I wasn’t allowed to join the Saw family. Kind of bullshit if you ask me.

This was my absolute favorite of the four haunts, as it felt like I was walking through the 1974 film and the lens of Tobe Hooper’s immortal horror classic. Chef’s kiss to the set design and whoever’s idea it was to put the opening text credits along with that infamous graveyard corpse opener at the front of the haunt before even going inside. Genius move.

You walk around and see the VW bus at the gas station, turn a hard right and the Sawyer house is right there, fully built in all its glory for you to walk through and try to outrun Leatherface and the rest of the family. With special appearances by Sally, Franklin, and friends, they nailed this experience right down to the bones and chicken feathers. I didn’t want it to end and just like with Believer, I could have lingered around if they had let me just to soak in all the attention to detail.

In addition to the four glorious haunts, horror-themed drinks and bites at the bars and restaurants, there are plenty of places to hang out while enjoying the atmosphere, watch out for MEGAN by the way, and a live show to boot, starring Jack the Clown and Chance with the STAY OR SLAY show that involves audience participation, which yours truly got picked to be a part of. If you look closely, you’ll spot the awkward pickle of the bunch and see me. It’s definitely entertaining, showcasing some crazy talent, and a must-see between haunted housing.

Because I know how Las Vegas can be, I can only hope this attraction stays around for a while because it sure is a breath of fresh air for us horror junkies. When you plan on coming, make sure to pack extra funds for their gift shop, because holy smokes, it is full of wants and needs for every horror fan! And the apparel is HIGH quality, so be prepared to spend extra for that, which I’m more than happy about because there’s nothing I hate more than souvenir t-shirts that don’t last through one washing.

Grab your tickets here and plan your visit today!

“Jason Takes Manhattan” Is The PROPER Ending To The “Friday The 13th” Franchise

What a time to be alive. Growing up alongside slasher horror movies in the 80s’ was certainly a peak moment for many adolescent horror fans in the decade. As the villains’ became pop-culture phenomenons appearing on lunch boxes and bootleg toys, our special boy Jason Voorhees was no exception to the horror synthwave of the 80s’. With the exception of 1983 and 1987, Friday the 13th was the ONLY series of films to release one movie every single year from 1980-1989 with everyone bearing some charm, gore, and new angle to bring Jason back onto the scene for more murderous rampages on teenagers. After 1989, they tried to resurrect him again, but people like me just weren’t buying it. Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan was the true and final ending to a decade-long franchise of the Crystal Lake Killer.

Fight me.

Let’s rewind a bit: In The Final Chapter, Corey Feldman’s Tommy Jarvis successfully accomplished what everyone was trying to do for 4 years- kill Jason. While technically, this right here would have been a dignifying sendoff for our special, special boy, fans clamored for more and the studios pulled a 180 by bringing him back in A New Beginning… Well sort of. We all THOUGHT we were watching Voorhees torment a now teenage Tommy laying low in a camp for troubled teens- mass murder from a guy in a hockey mask in a Friday the 13th film, who else would it have been? The twist is that it was actually paramedic Roy Burns who, like Pamela before him, went into a homicidal rage after the death of his kid. Jason was still dead and the murders were done by a copycat. This kind of pissed off audiences and they felt cheated. While I always thought that was a clever route to go down by refreshing the storyline, much like with Halloween III, fans wanted the REAL Jason.

Bending to the fans who can make or break the studios, Paramount begged for forgiveness with Jason Lives. A more focused, and determined Jarvis returns to Jason’s grave to ensure he truly is dead. And he is until Jarvis and a friend open the casket for a Frankenstein resurrection moment to happen with Voorhees. And we’re off to the races again with a more powerful zombie Jason in predator mode- until he gets trapped at the bottom of the lake not once, but TWICE. The first time is when Jarvis sends him back to his watery grave from which he was formed in Part 6, and again with Tina’s telekinetic powers in Part 7. I mean, if it didn’t work the first time what made anyone think it would a second? Now, let’s get to where Jason takes a boat, I mean Manhattan, and the true and final ending to Voorhees.

I honestly don’t give a shit what anyone says. Jason Takes Manhattan is probably the most fun Friday movie given to us in the 80s’. It almost becomes such a parody of itself in the process of the film that you just can’t help but overlook the cop-out of him only spending about the last 20 minutes of the movie in New York; which at the time, had quite the reputation of being a dangerous place indeed full of crime and sketchy individuals. Jason fits right into the mold.

Jason’s final confrontation with main characters, Rennie and Sean, has them ending up in the city subway system, where it’s coincidentally revealed that a river of toxic waste is released every single night. In pursuit, Jason gets trapped inside the toxic waste, and reverts to a child-like state- and HE SPEAKS! This is blasphemy! Jason never uttered one word throughout the whole franchise, yet while his face is melting away and sees a river of more sewer waste pounding towards him, he cries for “mommy”. It’s actually sort of gut-wrenching and a stern reminder that Jason really just has the mind of a child. This is only validated further when Reenie sees Jason’s childhood self, at peace in death among the waters.

Ok, who’s cutting onions in here!

I truly feel as if this was the proper send-off to an otherwise tragic character. Not this Jason Goes To Hell garbage that made him a demon-body-hopper. I don’t know, maybe I’m too sentimental, but I believe an icon as important to the genre as this deserves a fitting ending if we’re going to give him one.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Friday the 13th Collection [Blu-ray]

Mortal Kombat (1995) After 30 Years Still Holds the Title for Best Video Game Adaptation

The Summer of 1995 was about as phenomenal in the pop culture aspect as you could get if you were a ’90s kid. We were either singing every line of TLC’s “Waterfalls” or Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” on the way to the local theater to see the big Summer Blockbuster film. Movies like Clueless, Batman Forever, and Braveheart were some notable hits among our angsty teenage group. However, the BIG ONE everyone was waiting for arrived late in the game before school commenced, ensuring we’d all be spending our first day of class most likely in detention trying to perfect that sidekick to the kidneys. And that film was, of course, MORTAL KOMBAT.

MORTAL KOMBAT was a huge fucking deal for our generation and not just for gamers alone, but rather infiltrated the entire pop culture aspect of our adolescence as the game itself gave us prepubescents the satisfaction of taking our anger out on a video game in the most creative and bloodiest way possible. Or perhaps, if we were in a slightly better mood, a FRIENDSHIP was summoned for shits and giggles.

The rise of fighting video game culture was at an all-time high in the early ’90s, and movie producer Lawrence Kasanof (BLOOD DINER) saw potential in bringing the game to life in a knock-down, drag-out all-action film after visiting some colleagues at MIDWAY GAMES and discovering the game for the first time. However, Midway head Neil D. Nicastro disagreed that the game could be a successful film, given the failure of past movie adaptations of video games. After a couple of months of negotiations, Kasanoff finally acquired a limited option on the Mortal Kombat film rights.

With several well-known directors submitting pitches for the film, the producer chose then-unknown director Paul Anderson after seeing a screening of his 1994 debut film, SHOPPING, which Larry felt demonstrated that he could take an innovative approach to the material. Anderson had no experience with visual effects but was an avid fan of the game and had a rock-hard erection about making a MORTAL KOMBAT movie, so he read every book he could find on visual effects and, in his words, “kind of bluffed my way in.”

I respect the shit out of that kind of trickery.

A couple of fun facts:

Filming began in the Summer of 1994 in both Los Angeles and Thailand and was completed before the year was out, but not without its share of on-set problems; I mean, it’s MORTAL KOMBAT, of course! This wasn’t going to be a flawless victory.

There were many actors considered for the roles of both our heroes and villains, but Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa was the filmmakers’ first and only choice for the role of Shang Tsung. He came to the audition in a costume and read his lines while standing on a chair. Robin Shou beat out Jason Scott Lee and Russell Wong for Liu Kang and Linden Ashby was cast for Johnny Cage after the actor who inspired the character itself, Jean-Claude Van Damme turned it down; but not before mega stars Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp were considered. Cameron Diaz, hot off THE MASK with Jim Carrey was originally cast for Sonya Blade but had to drop out due to a wrist injury, calling in “Dat Ass” Veronica Vaughn, I mean, Bridgette Wilson who was initially passed up and flew out on her last day of filming BILLY MADISON to strap on her combat boots for the film. Steve James (AMERICAN NINJA) was originally cast to play Jaxx, but he died from pancreatic cancer a year before production on the film began, and the role of Rayden was first offered to Sean Connery.

I’m gonna be honest, I’m really glad Sean turned that down because he went on to do really great things on Celebrity Jeopardy.

MORTAL KOMBAT opened in theaters nationwide on August 18th, 1995 and by the gods of Outerworld, us kids were hyped the fuck up to see this movie. But we were also a tad bit skeptical after being jaded with STREET FIGHTER, which was released during Christmas break eight months prior, and being underwhelmed by the lack of faithfulness to the game storylines; to be fair, though, I appreciate the movie a lot more now than I did at the age of twelve.

I, and a few friends at the tender age of thirteen, hopped on our bikes to make the 3-mile trek to our local movie theater-back before there was nothing but chains and theaters only in casinos here in Las Vegas, to the brick-built Red Rock Theater 11 (the 11 meaning 11 screens which was a big deal for you whippersnappers). We bought our tickets and marched to the movie room, Butterfinger BB’s and an ICEE to crack us out in a sugar rush to bear witness to what was, and still is, the greatest video game adaptation ever. And that ain’t just nostalgia talking. All was silent as we were anticipating for the movie to start and then.. This happened. And we all collectively creamed our jeans.

For being a 30-year-old film, the movie, even now as an adult, is still so much damn fun and holds true to the games more so than what is ever given credit for. Like, remember when Mortal Kombat movies had tournaments, which was the whole point of the game? The movie has cheese, but the cheese is necessary in palatable doses. I don’t want to live in a world where Johnny Cage doesn’t utter, “Those are $500 sunglasses, asshole.” I just don’t. And the actual one-on-one fights? Set in backdrops that are recognizable from gameplay is the kind of chef’s kiss that makes me want to burst.

The fights themselves, in particular Cage Vs Scorpion, or Liu Vs Reptile, are full of so much aggression and energy that it parallels the intensity of the game perfectly- especially that of a teenage kid seeing this for the first time back in the 90s. But even as an adult, I still feel those same goosebumps every time the beat drops and Reptile comes full form and at 100 miles per hour. You can read my MK 1995 fight rankings here.

FUN FACT: Robin Shou fractured two ribs while being thrown into the pillar here, but kept quiet about it for fear that the production would be shut down. He told only Keith Cooke, the actor who plays Reptile, asking him not to hit him on the right side of his rib cage, and finished the scene before going to the hospital. What a fuckin’ soldier.

And let’s not forget what was and still is, one of the GREATEST entrances in any movie of all time. I will die on this fucking hill, friends.

People will argue that the lack of character development in the film undercuts any of what I’m saying here. But tell me honestly: Did you watch this movie wanting a biography on Liu Kang or Johnny Cage, or did you want to see MORTAL KOMBAT? A game, now a movie, that slams your balls into the wall with quirky one-liners, fantastic martial arts fights, and canon moves from gameplay that we spent the last few years trying to perfect. I’m guessing the latter, which in point, case closed.

When adapting a beloved and popular game, care should always be taken to craft a story of quality, but it’s also equally important to capture the spirit of the game being made. It is crucial to understand the experience one has when sitting down and playing a game such as MK and all the emotions that come along with it. Excitement, fear, and frustration, all those things were felt when watching the film, and that is no easy task, I can assure you. Watching MORTAL KOMBAT back in 1995 vs. now evokes the same hits of dopamine that make this film such a cult classic. The movie understood the fucking assignment and delivered on all platforms. Except for perhaps that Sub-Zero fight, but, hey, not all of those battles were perfect.

With the 30-year anniversary of one of the greatest things to come out of the 90s and MORTAL KOMBAT II creeping into theaters later this Fall, I felt it was important to put out there the impact this game, and film had on the generation of 90s kids, and is just as popular and relevant today as it was three decades prior. Just do yourself a favor if you haven’t already and ignore the follow-up of MORTAL KOMBAT: ANNIHILATION entirely.