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News, Wrestling Memories

“WrestleMania IX: Becoming a Spectacle” Streaming on Peacock Triggers Unknown Trivia and Nostalgia

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It’s WRESTLEMANIA weekend here in my home of Las Vegas and shit hasn’t been this hyped up since 1993 when Vince McMahon decided to bring the Super Bowl of wrestling events to Sin City. Hell, on my way back from a doctor’s appointment today, I caught a glimpse of some guys walking down the street with a very impressive-looking championship wrestling belt- and mind you, we were nowhere near the arena that is hosting WrestleMania 41. I just smiled and remembered the excitement I, and so many others in my hometown, once felt when we found out The Undertaker, Bret Hart, and the return of Hulk Hogan were all on the card for WrestleMania IX. I feel it in the air now just as I did back then when I was 10.

And it brings a goddamn tear to my eye and that inner child in all of us.

In addition, PEACOCK recently released a documentary about WrestleMania like no other, entitled “WrestleMania IX: Becoming a Spectacle.” The documentary features raw footage from behind the scenes, including the building of Caesar’s Coliseum in a parking lot to hold the event, shenanigans with wrestlers backstage, and new interviews with the superstars who were present and their stories behind it.

I gave it a watch, and it is, indeed, a jolt of welcomed nostalgia to the golden era of 90s wrestling and how I felt about the sport as a kid. It was a time when Kayfabe was still in strong effect and taken extremely seriously by the athletes themselves to keep the image of their superstar persona alive; only strengthening the fandom into a passion of excitement. Also anger when one of your favorite guys lost or was screwed over royally by a “heel”.

It was also a time of two Doinks. The feels were fire, folks.

The doc also most importantly, gives each match that was on the card that day, a walkthrough on what was going on behind the curtains, goofs, and the reality of tensions between certain parties during the event. If you’re a wrestling fanatic like myself, you probably already know about the massive shit show that was the Undertaker vs The Giant Gonzalez match, as he’s spoken out about it numerous times and is one, if not THEE most hated match from his own personal perspective. As a matter of fact, many fans today stand on the hill of IX being one of the worst WrestleManias ever. And I can see why now as an adult, but as a ten-year-old kid as I was back then, the somewhat crappy card and controversial ending didn’t matter one bit. It was pure fucking magic to us 90s kids who grew up embracing the WWF (yes I still call it that) and watching never before seen footage of some of the greatest icons that are no longer with us like Randy Savage, Curt Hennig, Sherri Martel and Bam FUCKING Bam Bigelow was a real treat. Also, as someone who prides the fuck out of themselves with 80s and 90s wrestling knowledge, I learned quite a few new things that I’ll keep in my back pocket if I ever so happen to land myself on WWE Jeopardy.

“WrestleMania IX: Becoming a Spectacle” is currently streaming on PEACOCK and I highly suggest giving it a go as a pregame to WrestleMania 41. If anything, the raw footage itself of Bobby Heenan riding backwards on a camel is worth it.

Editorials

T-U-R-T-L-E POWER! The Everlasting Nostalgia of the 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie

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The date was March 30th, 1990 and nothing, I MEAN NOTHING could have prepared us for the now nostalgic national treasure of the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES movie. With Turtle Mania running hot via the hit animated series, it was the event of the year for pretty much everyone in my age group and beyond. I was seven at the time and a huge fan of the series. I don’t remember a whole lot at this age, but I do remember going to the theater with my dad to see this and oh man… it really was an event for us kids. We were getting a live-action Ninja Turtle movie, y’all. This was better than the Good Humor truck breaking down in front of my house.

The lights dimmed and after a few trailers I don’t even remember because I was too damn excited, we opened up to the skyline of New York City (which greatly pleased my NY-bred father) with April O’Neil dubbing over scenes of young boys with the Foot robbing people blind; along with a brief shot of what we all knew was Shredder’s hand. It was already fucking amazing.

I was already sold and then this happened.

The theater was jam-packed as it was opening weekend Saturday and as someone who was there, I can validate we all collectively lost our shit when after the title credits when they hit the screen. That music started popping and it was all over from there. We were hooked in for a ride that we never wanted to get off from and are still enjoying it well over 30 years later.

There’s just so much to love about this movie paired with a massive load of nostalgia that comes with a viewing, so I’ll try to keep it light without boring you to death. Beyond the obvious wonderful things about TMNT 1990 like Casey Jones and the Jim Henson magic of the Turtles, let’s talk about some minor stuff that gets overlooked that warm all my nostalgic fuzzies and help make this film a nostalgic masterpiece.

That being said, we gotta talk about one of the reasons why this TMNT movie, in particular, is the best- Raphael’s glorious dirty fuckin’ mouth.

Fuck Yeah, Ralph

Before the opening scenes seen above, our hot-headed teenage turtle mutters DAMN and repeats it several times throughout the film with an added Bitchin’ at the film’s end. Honestly, this seems really petty as an adult but in 1990, it was a damn big deal. It was really cool for us kids to see our green machine heroes swear, albeit still PG words but radical nonetheless. However, this paired with the more serious dark tone and use of weapons upset parents because, spoiler alert-people have always been offended by something- and our heroes in a half-shell were toned down immensely for the sequel the following year. I don’t know if anyone ever noticed that in Secret of the Ooze, the turtles do way more hand-to-hand combat rather than relying on their trusty signature weapons of choice, but it’s worth mentioning since that’s the result of pearl-clutching parents of the ’90s.

Fast Food Cameos

Just look at that delightful whopping boxing folks. It’s the little things like this that make the world a better place.

Watching the movie now at 40, it’s fun to see all the retro commercial products inserted for possible material gains like Domino’s and Burger King. Of course, pizza promotions had to be somewhere in this movie, as we all know pizza is GOD to our fab four. Domino’s went pretty heavy in the movie for product placement, but do you remember Pizza Hut had a commercial on the original VHS release right before the movie started? I always found it odd that the rival pizza chains both had a hand in this film, but anyway, here’s a refresher in case memory doesn’t serve you well!

With the huge success of the movie, both Burger King and Pizza Hut went on to do a myriad of promotions within the fast food chains, including BK teaming up with F.H.E to release VHS tapes of the animated series at their restaurants.

Bonus points if you still have yours!

Raphael Meets The Krites

“Where do they come up with this stuff?!”

Just a shameless promotion from New Line for their 1986 film Critters that makes a cameo, but again, it’s the little things like this that have made me fall in love with this movie over and over again. A supposed family-friendly film with a cameo for a horror movie featuring carnivorous little aliens.

Fantastic.

Baby Sam Rockwell

Ahh yes. The Academy Award-winning actor Sam Rockwell played the head thug at the Foot Clan’s hideout. Albeit not his first film, he did appear in the highly controversial Clownhouse a year before, but it’s always nice to know where his adept villainous streak started. Rockwell is great at playing an asshole and let’s face it- anyone happy to keep poor Splinter hung up in a dank smelly hideaway is a pure prick in my book. Just a little tidbit from a superb actor that made us hate the Foot even more.

The VHS Release

October 4, 1990, was the date of infamy when the movie was released nationwide to video stores partnered with Family Home Entertainment and we all ran like there was, a lack of a better phrase, a turtle peeping out our buttholes to the closest retailer to pick up our copy of the film of our generation. Everyone had a copy within the first week and could be seen in every 90s kids’ home for years to come. It was a rite of our passage and youth to have this in our possession, and a beautiful nostalgic revisit as an adult.

While the VHS is indeed our gold standard for nostalgic purposes, Umbrella Entertainment released a special Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Stink-O-Vision Version Blu-Ray jam-packed with fun for your senses to revisit the movie like nothing ever before. The pack comes with scent cards accompanied with a menu of dank and delicious bespoke scents from Scented Storytelling to enhance the film’s stinkiest moments. Simply scratch the corresponding number on your scent card when the icon flashes on the screen and join Raphael, Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello as they fight to become the city’s greatest mutant crimefighters and take down the nefarious Shredder. 

PICK UP YOUR COPY FROM AMAZON FOR ONLY $26.95!

All that being said, I’ll just leave it here with one of the most important life lessons we took from this movie…

Retro Reviews

The Most Terrifying of Them All: Cannon Movie Tales’ “Snow White”

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The Most Terrifying of Them All: Cannon Films' "Snow White"

I was never much of a fairy tale kind of kid, but Snow White is a story that I hold very dear to my heart. It’s dark, gritty, and relatable to me in such a way because I really had an Evil Queen as a mother. Sometimes step-parents can be a Godsend, while our real birth-givers are toxic entities in our lives, and it’s even worse when you’re a child if not traumatic altogether. My real mother is a narcissistic bipolar who was jealous of her own daughter growing up (why? I’ll never get that), which made my life growing up with her until she split pretty much a living hell. Without going into too much detail, I was treated rather poorly and my way of coping was escapism through a lot of horror films. And then there was this movie I ended up watching over a hundred times in my youth because it was not only, what I thought, was the best version of the Gothic fairy tale, but it had elements of horror sprinkled in there that were done rather well. Before Snow White: A Tale Of Terror came around anyway exactly 10 years after the fact.

Dating all the way back to 1916, The Brothers’ Grimm tale of envy and horror has been adapted cinematically over and over again in the past 100 years of film. It may be one of the most tried and true stories to be reinvented every few years or so for audiences, via animation or live-action. While some details differ from each revamping of the 1812 German fairy tale, the central plot remains the same not giving too much room for suspense. However, in the 80s’, Cannon Movie Tales’ version of the fair maiden and her seven little friends came in swinging as the most faithful adaptation of the original story to date; and definitely lives up to the Gothic nature that really is The Brothers’ Grimm as some of it is goddamn visually terrifying.

I mean, the magic mirror is straight-up made of nightmares, y’all.

Albeit the Evil Queen’s fate in the original story, Cannon’s Snow White gets most of the gritty details from the original right, even down to the apple core dislodging from her throat in transport. The movie stars Nicola Stapleton/Sarah Peterson as Snow White, Billy Barty from Willow and Legend fame, and Diana Rigg as the evil Queen who stole the whole show, and also induced a ton of nightmares as she did her job rather well. The rage and tone that comes off from this woman in the film is one for the books and, to this day, unmatched by any Evil Queen’s performance in the myriad of actresses that have donned the wicked crown.

In total, the Queen attempted murder on SW four times. Once as a child in the woods with the huntsman, where she is offered mercy by the hunter and flees off into the forest, coming upon the dwarves’ cottage. Years later when the Queen finds out Snow is still alive, she then uses her master of disguise tactics to cosplay not once, but 3 different times as a Gyspy woman, a Geisha, and finally an old woman to fool the princess by offering her poison combs, too-tight lace, and a delightful deadly apple-which obviously is one that finally did her in. I have to say however, it’s such an insult to women everywhere that any woman would be that stupid to fall for these tricks multiple times, but then again, we would have a bit of a boring story had she used her noodle a bit.

Anyways, once the traveling Prince happens upon Snow just hanging out dead in the woods, he whisks her away to a castle in the middle of a blistering snowstorm. The entourage carrying her has a bit of an accident, causing SW to spill out of the carriage in her glass coffin, and the force of the fall urges her to cough up the poisoned bit of the apple, awakening her and allowing the pair to live happily ever after.

Well, almost. Just like in the book, the Evil Queen finds out about this wedding and freaks out when her trusty mirror tells her that the Prince’s bride-to-be, is way more beautiful than she. She throws a temper tantrum, breaking the mirror which turns out to be the true source of her magic, beauty, and youth. She quickly begins to tatter and age but not before she can make it to this castle to look upon this fair maiden before she dies. Low, and behold, it’s of course, Snow White. She turns from the alter to walk away but her face shatters into a million pieces before she can make it out of the vicinity.

As a kid, this was absolutely terrifying. As an adult, that’s karma bitch.

Cannon’s Snow White is not easy to come by these days but Amazon does have the DVD for sale at a decent price. If anything, skip the few cheesy musical numbers that made their way into this movie, but watch it for Diana Rigg and her downright crazy-good performance along with some visually terrifying imagery that you won’t soon forget.