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(VIDEO)The “Halloween 4” VHS Retailers Promo That Kicked Off The 1989 Summer Of Horror Rentals!

I’m almost certain that I hold the record on the horror blog Internet for writing the most pieces about HALLOWEEN 4Dwight Little actually agrees with me– and it’s a crown I wear with pride as the Queen of Vincent Drug. To my surprise, however, I’ve never thrown in this little doozy of a retailer promo, which is another kryptonite of mine featuring THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS in all its glory.

In case you’re unfamiliar, a retailer promo is an early release of a VHS tape sent to video store owners that will ultimately either sway them to stock the shelves with said movie or give it a hard pass. In addition, some of these screeners would be sent to the media for review. Hard to imagine a time when critics would have to actually wait on the postman to deliver physical media as opposed to a screener email that can be obtained in under 60 seconds, eh?

Can we also appreciate this standee that was seen in Mom and Pop video shops? I covet thee so hard.

That being said, I don’t think HALLOWEEN 4 was ever going to be a hard sell to horror movie fans, but that, of course, never stops the PR machine from pimping the sequel for home video release like it was one of its top hookers on Broadway St. Hell, they were so confident in their success on the video rental market, they couldn’t even bother to spell Freddy’s Nightmares right when talking about television promo partnerships.

That’s a big dick move there, Mikey.

The street date for HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS landed on May 18th, 1989, just a few weeks after THEY LIVE and CHILD’S PLAY hit the shelves and five days before PUMPKINHEAD was added to the VHS horror movie rentals of ’89. 1988 was a HUGE year for horror movies-you can check my top 15 here-so therefore the Summer months following were a banger for us at the video rental stores.

I mean, they never had to oversell me. I’m the proud mom of two copies, while three others over the past 30 years have been laid to rest from being played to death.

Anyway, enjoy something that brings me a lot of personal joy and fuzziness. Huge shout-out to Tripsy Trailers for uploading this treasure for the rest of us!

Take a trip this Summer to 1993 with Here Lies’ Summer of ‘93 VHS Experience

Zombies Ate My Neighbors, Dream Phone, and McDees Pizza – three things I recall being as clear as Crystal Pepsi on my then five-year old pop culture radar in 1993. Being little over thirty years now, an interest in discovering (or re-discovering) the ‘90s is evident – it’s a fascinating decade that went through considerable changes by distancing itself from the pastel ’80s to a chrome-toned future of dial-up internet.

After completing a few entries in the Here Lies Halloween Companion series, I aspired to create a new non-holiday-themed collection that would be set during the summer months on specific years. The “Summer of” series gives you the experience of what it was like watching late night TV on a hot summer eve during the ’80s and ’90s – my first entry is 1987, which was picked because many had recollected to me about it being the best year of the 1980’s in their adolescence. But let’s stick to the era of Dunkaroos because I want to focus on the 2nd installment – Summer of ’93.

To date, this is the most difficult tape I’ve created, as not only did I have to stay true to the obvious shift in aesthetics but also nail the final result in capturing the feelings that a five-year-old me had experienced. Per usual, I avoid revealing the contents of my tapes so that your brain receives all the endorphins it can get when recognizing a commercial it hasn’t processed in a long time. But for this article (which I am very grateful Nightmare Nostalgia has let me pen), I gotta delve into a few aspects due to their personal relevance.

The 6hr Summer of ’93 begins with home video footage of a holiday being narrated by an enthusiastic Dad, specifically interested in getting a close up of a sunset as he refers to someone named Heinz. There’s a pan across the horizon where a windsurfer cruises the Atlantic Ocean, and then the camera gives us a look at the campsite – likely a familiar display for many, right down to the Coleman 4 Slice Toast ring. A silver Mazda MPV sits parked nearby as a cemetery eerily looks on from the other side of a fence. We then see a kid helping wash dishes at a picnic table, pulling out a plastic McDonalds spoon and exclaiming to the camera in a jingle-tone “McDonalds TO-DAY”. Cut immediately to a McDees Pizza commercial as we start off a block of YTV content.

This footage is actually from my family’s June 1993 trip to Prince Edward Island, and I am the McDonalds crazed kid. The cameraman is my Dad and Heinz is my Opa – who happens to make a few cameos on the Here Lies Xmas Companion VOL 2. The YTV block that follows is as close to exactly how I remember watching that channel – a kids station out of Toronto, Ontario, Canada – right down to the Maniac Mansion promo and anti-drug PSAs that back then I didn’t understand.

The finished result is six hours worth of capturing a feeling of innocence that co-sides with an abundant sense of optimism that went hard in ’93. An over-reliance on technology hasn’t kicked in just yet, but it’s coming. In the meantime, all the chips are in for environmentalism and stranger danger in the form of various colored vans. Stay alert and stay safe.

This Summer, relive (or see for the first time) what 1993 was like – it’s a fascinating year from the ’90s that captures a distinct shift in aesthetics and consumerism, while continuing to encourage recycling and exercise. Summer of ’93 can be found over at www.here-lies.com in all its 6 hour VHS glory with a free Bonus Digital copy so you can watch it on anything you wish!

Someone Made An Actual Movie Trailer For the Friday the 13th NES Game and it is GLORIOUS

“You’re dead. Your friends are dead. Your family’s dead. Your fucking pets are being skinned alive. Your mom’s a fucking whore. You suck at life. The whole world hates you. You’re going to Hell. Live with it. Game Over.” – Via the ever so wise Nintendo Sensi, James Rolfe.

He wasn’t wrong you know. Although the original Friday the 13th game for the Nintendo Entertainment System seemed like a horror fan’s 8-bit wet dream, the frustration of gameplay quickly softened any prepubescent boners we may have had going into this pixelated LJN nightmare. I would never refer to it as a giant piece of donkey shit like some may have dubbed it, but the game itself is a goddamn pain in the ass for sure to get through without blowing your blood pressure out of range.

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Anyway, today being the 13th of Friday here at Nightmare Nostalgia, I figured now is as a good as time as ever to showcase something that any fan of the NES game would appreciate the Holy Pixels out of. Youtube channel Mega64 brought about this hilarious fanmade movie trailer back in 2015 of you guessed it-Friday the 13th The Game The Movie. And it is goddamn gloriously nostalgic from those days of throwing ineffective knives at zombies and flying Pamela Voorhees rotting heads. Complete with VHS static to give it that retro feel, the fanmade trailer nails every aspect of the game that we love to bitch about endlessly. They even throw in the old joke of Jason’s machete looking like a giant toothbrush gag.

It doesn’t really get any better than that, folks. Happy Friday the 13th campers!