Category Archives: Editorials

The 80s Was The Greatest Decade For Christmas And Here’s Why

Since the season beckons for it, I’ve been reminiscing about my childhood Christmases, and I might be biased because of my age- but they seemed pretty perfect. When thinking about it, I find myself transported to Christmas as a kid in the 80s and remember sitting on my knees at our bulky coffee table, marker in hand ready to do some damage, and making my list after browsing fat-ass Wish catalogs while watching commercials that tempted the WWF Wrestling Buddy out of me during Saturday morning cartoons. Christmas morning would come and finding those chocolate coins in my stocking brought such a shitfaced grin. Then unveiling your most sought-after toy or something such as a Nintendo Entertainment System with a side of ZELDA was like the ultimate high.

I was pretty stoned off this Punky Brewster doll in 1986.

Because I’ve lived through four decades of holiday seasons and have witnessed the change in attitude and structure throughout the years, I can confidently say that the 80s were PEAK times for Christmas. And well, Halloween too, but that’s another rant. Sometimes bigger isn’t always better. With the massive commercialism consuming the holiday at its core, today’s Christmas seems rushed through with little to no thought as we’ve become the generation of RIGHT NOW instead of building to the anticipation of the big day. Don’t get me wrong; I’m well aware the 80s were FILLED to the brim of Christmas consumer greed and commercialism. As a matter of fact, that’s pretty much where it started.

Let’s just blame it on The Cabbage Patch Riots.

Even with the birth of a yearly MUST HAVE TOY and what really became BLACK FRIDAY in the 80s, it to me seemed like a much more joyous time when it was not only more wholesome, but magical at that.

Christmas TV Specials

Christmas on the boob tube always was a whole event back in the 80s. Because of destination television and the lack of the internet, we had to wait with patience for these things to show up. I can distinctly remember having to check the TV Guide to make sure you didn’t miss A Christmas Toy. Garfield’s Christmas, The Muppets Family Christmas, etc, and the slew of Holiday specials that were vomited off into our eye sockets throughout the month of December. But what was really nice, was the whole family would watch them together, often with eggnog or hot cocoa. On top of such, every sitcom on television had its own Christmas special as well. From The Chipmunks to He-Man, they went hard as fuck to really drum up the Christmas spirit, and it’s why they remain a beloved tradition for many to this day. I mean, come on, would you rather watch Pee Wee and Grace Jones get into the Yuletide spirit, or one of the 500 Hallmark Christmas movies streaming services have put out over the last few years?

The 80s had The BEST Christmas Movies

I honestly don’t think there’s another decade that spawned a slew of Christmas films that have become modern treasured traditions than 80s holiday flicks. That might have something to do with Christmas movies of the 80s rearing into non-traditional genres like horror and comedy rather than just family-friendly, making it more appealing to wider audiences. Films like GREMLINS, NATIONAL LAMPOONS CHRISTMAS VACATION, and SCROOGED are absolutely necessary to watch, and it’s just not Christmas without a full 24 hours of watching Ralphie shoot his eye out over and over again in A CHRISTMAS STORY now, is it?

Know what I mean, Vern?

Christmas Began AFTER Thanksgiving

Listen, I put up my tree and outdoor lights before Thanksgiving too, but I also keep the Fall theme going in my home until the Friday after Turkey Day. When I was growing up, Christmas wasn’t shoved in our faces as soon as September, like it is now. The emergence of the evil one, Mariah Carey, and seeing the stores being taken over with glittery merchandise before Halloween even has a fucking chance to get some steam going, ruins it for me, and many others. Seeing Halloween blow molds being tarnished with dangled mistletoe hanging above them just sets me the fuck off. It just turns any excitement I have for the holidays into full-blown dread.

Instead of Amazon, We Had Wish Catalogs

To be fair, mailer catalogs still exist today, however, beyond schoolyard chatter and Saturday morning, circulars and wish books like this were our go-to for compiling our perfect Xmas list.  I would peruse these things for hours, circling and folding the corners of the pages before changing my mind several times on different items and then handing them to my parents for reference. It was just much more exciting than scrolling and one-click buying.

Or We Exclusively Had Mall Shopping

A lot of your December was spent in indoor Malls, finding that perfect gift you spotted in one of those Christmas catalogs. And that was mostly OK because, it was a whole damn event and the mall was always decked to the absolute nine in Christmas decor with Santa right in the middle of all of it ready to take pictures with the mile-long line of children waiting.

Christmas Decorations Just Looked Nicer

A Patti PaulterGeist XMAS circa 1985

Completely asymmetric. Covered with tinsel and glass ornaments. Furnished with colorful giant light bulbs. Christmas trees had a special feel to it up until the 90s where they started becoming more “sleek” per se. A great 80s Xmas tree had a hodgepodge of ornaments that ranged from glass to satin balls like these bastards right here.

Oh, and sparkle. LOTS OF TACKY TINSEL SPARKLE that would make an entire mess and get stuck in the shag carpet. Or in between your poor cat’s teeth.

And then, of course, there were the big old-fashioned family get-togethers that have sort of become passé as time went on, and the internet allowed people to just connect with family day to day throughout the year more easily. Personally, my family has never broken that tradition because Christmas Eve is the night of our great Italian fish and pasta feast and the night where no matter how pissed off cousin Tony is at Uncle Pasquale, that shit is squashed in honor of Clams Oreganata. Yeah, and I guess Christmas as well. As long as I got that badass Rancor Monster from Star Wars, thank you very much.

Actual shot of me and my grandfather, Christmas 1984.

The times just seemed more meaningful back then. We were made to slow down and wrap ourselves in the very thing the holidays are supposed to make us feel — joy. Nowadays, we’re just rushing around like chickens with our heads cut off just trying to keep up with everyone or the Jones’ next door for the sake of social media likes and clout. We all know at least one person who does it. Now, instead of pure joy and warmth, it’s just headaches and nostalgia for how it used to be. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy Christmas as much as the next person- as long as I have my Ibuprofen handy.

40 Years of “A Nightmare On Elm Street”: How Freddy Changed The Game In The 80s and Beyond

The year was 1984.  The very first commercial for the revolutionary Apple Computer premiered at the beginning of the year, foreshadowing an irreversible change in the way we live for an entire generation. While one can argue this may very well be, the most significant moment in ’84, (or hell an entire decade), most horror fans may dispute that. 40 years ago, one of horror’s biggest and influential icons was born from the mind of the late Wes Craven-Freddy KruegerRobert Englund gave him a body, Craven gave him the brain- see what I did there- and unleashed Freddy Mania unto the generation that became the golden era for Slasher movies; and shows no signs of slowing up all these years later.

While I can’t speak for every single child of the ’80s, Freddy Fever rose high and rampant over the course of a decade, introducing an entire generation to the horror genre due to Springwood’s Slasher popularity. Nancy said it best, “Every kid knows who he is. He’s like Santa Claus.” 

And even celebrated much more so by the horror fandom than the generous, jolly ol’ dude. With on-screen heroes emerging in the decade like Indiana Jones, Rambo, and pretty much any Arnold Schwarzenegger film, Freddy rose to the ranks as a hero of a generation of horror movie fans by being nothing more than the ethos of pure evil-slapstick comedy added later-which only BOOSTED all the diehard FredHeads (myself included) to put him on a higher pedestal; rounding out the Holy Horror Slasher Trinity with his buddies Michael and Jason.

I mean, you’ve really made it when MTV (when it was, you know, amazing) lets you VJ and just end up doing whatever the fuck you want. That’s some star power.

And it all stemmed from an idea inspired by real-life horrific events that dated back a decade earlier.

As most of you are aware by now, Craven was enthralled by a story he came across in the LA TIMES about a family who had survived the Killing Fields in Cambodia. They made it safe and sound to the United States, but their young son was soon terrorized by horrible nightmares and was eventually found dead.

From Vulture Magazine, circa 2014:

He told his parents he was afraid that if he slept, the thing chasing him would get him, so he tried to stay awake for days at a time. When he finally fell asleep, his parents thought this crisis was over. Then they heard screams in the middle of the night. By the time they got to him, he was dead. He died in the middle of a nightmare. Here was a youngster having a vision of a horror that everyone older was denying. That became the central line of Nightmare on Elm Street.

All that being said, WHAT exactly had the youth of our generation so insanely captivated by, well, a brutal child killer? I can only speculate on watching Freddymania evolve throughout the ’80s, and ’90s, to today’s hardcore fan base that follows Freddy and Friends to the ends of the Earth via social media and horror conventions (I’m totally one of those people), and speaking with fellow FredHead buddies. And the answers are pretty quite simple: The children are the warriors of this horror franchise. They are the ones who recognize the evil while the adults stand around with their thumbs up their asses. THEY are the ones who stand together, (just look at Dream Warriors) and face their enemy head-on. So it’s only natural an adolescent would gravitate toward something they could possibly relate to. Society is often guilty of not listening to our youth, and A Nightmare On Elm Street made that loud and clear, folks.

Another reason, and this is personally true in my case being a female, is that each of the NOES films gave us the absolute, most ass-kicking heroines that any young girl would be proud to look up to. First off, let’s just get this right out of the way- Nancy is the goddamn Queen. Even though it was quite clear that she was slowly getting edgier as the film progressed- to be fair she was working on a week’s worth of almost no sleep while Fred was trying to murder her– she really had the most logical and sturdy head out of EVERYONE in that entire film. Including her parents. Not to mention, she went full Rambo on Krueger’s ass. I’m not going to sit here and try to argue how she managed to set all those booby traps, fall asleep, and capture Freddy all in twenty minutes of film time. Let’s just appreciate the fact that this girl went balls to the wall, going as far as tackling her predator to the ground WWF style in one giant FUCK YOU to his face. And then she turns her back on him and calls him “shit”.

Goddamn. GIRL FUCKING POWER.

35 Years of Freddy: A Clawed Imprint On An Entire Generation

Prior to Heather Langenkamp’s debut as a horror heroine, there really hadn’t been too many “final girls” who actually used their wit and a bit of critical thinking to overcome danger. Sydney Prescott said it best, “Some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can’t act who is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door. Ironically, another character of Wes Craven-which is a big reason why I adore him and the strength he gave his female heroes.

The stupid girl trope in horror movies had always really bothered me until I got a dose of Nancy. The only other final girl that came remotely close to being a full-on badass that any young girl would admire prior to NOES, is Amy Steel’s Ginny from Friday the 13th Part 2. Nancy is Ginny turned all the up. And I respect the fuck out of it. We finally had someone willing to fight back with both her mind and skills she obtained. The strong female presence would continue throughout the franchise, and personally, I really think it made other horror films and franchises really think twice about the dumb girl victim angle. Post 1984, the main female characters in BOTH Friday the 13th and Halloween, respectfully, had a bit more fight in them. Think of Megan from Jason Lives, or Rachel from Halloween 4 who helped break the cycle. We can thank Nancy for that.

If someone wants to chime in about Jamie Lee Curtis, don’t make me remind you that just screamed her way through the first one until Loomis saved her ass; and then again in the sequel. A sequel where she literally laid in a parking lot where help was 10 feet away and waited to call out until they were gone.

I fucking love these movies to death, but I can never get past the stupidity of that.

Last but not least, A Nightmare On Elm Street has always been seen by me as a “comfort horror film”.  Over the years, I’ve written several articles on how horror films actually soothe my anxiety- And the NOES films are exactly that for me. Comfort in times of stress and the harsh realities of the real world. I refer to films like these in a term I coined, “FANTASTICAL HORROR”. Films like Halloween and Friday the 13th (only the first, after that they became FANTASTICAL), were very much real to me. THAT SHIT COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN. It’s very plausible an escaped lunatic could go on a killing spree or a deranged childless mother going apeshit on a group of kids. With NOES, mehhhhhhhhh, highly doubt a burnt-faced demon is gonna kill me in my dreams. This is not to say that one could never die in their sleep, or to take away the fact that the movie is really terrifying in other aspects. But, it’s not realistic to me. And that’s ok! In times of real-world tragedies, shitty adult issues, and when the world seems so ugly that you want to pack up and move to Mars, Freddy, and the gang are here to take us to Dream Land. To a place that takes us out of reality and into the world of Fantastical Horror.

You know, kinda like Harry Potter but cooler. Don’t you Hogwarts fans @ me.

Happy 40th anniversary, Freddy and the gang. And to all my fellow sons and daughters of 100 maniacs who keep the fandom of this movie as strong as ever. We are all his children now and forever.

35 Years of Freddy: A Clawed Imprint On An Entire Generation

On a last note for all you Fred Heads, make sure you grab the latest revised edition of “NEVER SLEEP AGAIN” that has all new information about the making of the movie via the cast and crew! The book releases on November 9th, 2024 and you can grab it here on Amazon!

[VIDEO] It’s The 1997 MTV Special: Beavis and Butthead Do Thanksgiving with Kurt Loder!

Huh, Huh, Huh… Loder. Heh, Heh, Heh. Ask Beavis if he has a wish bone.

There are two kinds of people in this world. The ones who celebrate Thanksgiving with Charlie Brown. And then the ones who interview people’s butts at Times Square-like Beavis and Butthead.

The answer is both. I am both people.

In 1997, ahead of their final episode after a massive pop-culture-changing five-year run, MTV ran a half-hour special with Beavis and Butthead along with Kurt Loder to celebrate the Turkey Holiday in Times Square. Where they talk about what they do on Thanksgiving, interview people’s butts, and unload their charm onto the conservative Kurt-complete with bumpers from creator Mike Judge and, of course, it wouldn’t be a true Beavis and Butthead episode without a couple of videos thrown in for good measure.

“Boy. CHER sure has gone downhill.”

But let’s face it, this was a pure celebration of the iconic 90s dumbass duo in all its glory with just some Thanksgiving trimmings before the pair’s 200th episode, “Beavis and Butthead are Dead”. However, the added joy of the Beavis and Butthead parade balloons along with some of their commentary about why “the city was giving homeless people a parade with balloons” cracks me the fuck up every time.

“Hey, we’re homeless, and we’re starving but, hey, there’s a Garfield balloon! Ahhhh…” At the time, that kind of social commentary went way over our heads and we just laughed our ever-loving asses off. It’s still funny now, but we also get what he was trying to say. And that’s the brilliance of Mike Judge, folks.

This was the last time Beavis and Butthead were on MTV with anything new for 14 years until a small revival back in 2011. An end of an era and a transition into a different period of time. When considering the 90s, it is difficult not to mention these two and their impact on an entire generation of angsty and rebellious adolescents that began during the height of the grunge music era. And while this special was supposed to be a sendoff celebration, it has stayed with me personally throughout the years as an annual November tradition.

It’s just not Thanksgiving until I hear Butthead explain the meaning of the holiday, “Well Loder, Thanksgiving is a very special day. The first thing we do is get up and watch TV. Now keep in mind, most television on Thanksgiving morning sucks. But do we get mad? No. We just keep changing channels until we find something cool.”

Buttheadisms, folks.

Shout out to wny_vad13 for uploading this special to YouTube in its entirety! Happy Thanksgiving buttmunches!