Category Archives: Lists

35 Years of Terror! Top 10 Horror Movies of 1987

1987: A year of historic events indeed. The first “The Simpsons” cartoon short is shown on The Tracey Ullman Show. President Ronald Reagan delivered his famous speech at the Berlin Wall. And Freddy Krueger delivered his most infamous line of the Nightmare franchise for the first time, “Welcome to Prime Time Bitch!” Also yes, I consider a Krueger one-liner as significant as the Berlin Wall speech- don’t judge me.

That being said, 1987 was a monumental year for horror. Considering the previous year 1986 and one hell of a year to follow, ’87 did a pretty bang-up job of another year full of horror flicks that we would cherish for years to come. So let’s just get right to it, but not before we give one honorary mention. There were so many damn good horror films out of this year it pains me to leave this one out so a big shout to…

The Stepfather

No one can play a psychopath step-parent like Terry O’ Quinn and that’s just how it is. Jerry Blake wants the perfect family, and he’ll kill to get it; which he does again and again as it seems like the perfect family doesn’t exist- shocker. Preying on widows and divorcees, Jerry/Henry/Bill whatever his name is that day is every bit as intimidating and sus even when trying not to be; so I find it a little insulting being a woman that these ladies aren’t tuning into that ol’ women’s intuition.

Although it would be extremely difficult today in a tech-social-media society for a homicidal maniac to be able to get away with these kinds of shenanigans, in 1987, it’s a fun ride and a gentle reminder of what once was in a pre-internet era: A bountiful time for serial killers.

Also, I like to fantasize that Terry O’ Quinn’s character of Sheriff Haller in Silver Bullet is in fact Jerry Blake gone mad with brain damage after that werewolf beating. Disappeared and began a new life as a serial killer unbeknownst of his life before. Watch them back to back and give that theory a try. Makes it that much more fun.

10. The Gate

The Gate is nothing short of bonkers nostalgia full of good old-fashioned Canadian charm and that’s exactly why we love it.

Kind of like Stranger Things meets The Goonies for a visual reference, The Gate takes that nostalgic 80s’ kids’ in danger hullabaloo and dials it into B-Movie madness with little satanic panic demons running around everywhere trying to take over the Earth thanks to a couple of curious kids digging up a portal of Hell in a suburban backyard. Because, that’s where all portals to Hell lie dormant, am I right? For context, one of the kids coincidentally finds a heavy metal LP that comes with a demonic bible of sorts that gives the kids all the information they might need should they want to open a portal to the dark realms and summon demonic forces.

That’s pretty much all you need to know to know this movie rules.

9. Prince Of Darkness

He might be best known for Halloween and The Thing, but John Carpenter’s Prince Of Darkness might be the creepiest and underrated of all his horror film entries. The score alone is overwhelmingly sadistic and unnerving and it damn well better be if you got the likes of Alice Cooper cast in your movie.

Horror genius Carpenter mixes faith, fear, and science into a delicious cocktail of horror movie cosmo when an old abandoned church a priest finds an old relic, a key, an old book, and a mysterious vat of green liquid. Mix in a group of scientists lobbying it up in the church along with a group of vagrants gathering outside the church, and the unthinkable happens: the green liquid attacks and it is the unholiest of Nickelodeon green gak you’ll see this side of Double Dare.

8. The Lost Boys

I feel like I might get a massive amount of shit from die-hard Lost Boys fans for putting this so low on the list. But, it is what it is folks. Also, I still believe the sax man in chains needed more screen time in an encore song, thanks very much.

Santa Carla is a hell of a place to live- if you’re a vampire that is. But it also makes for one hell of a movie, especially with not one, BUT TWO Coreys’ involved in trying to take down a gang of punk-rock teenage vampires. What I love most about The Lost Boys is that is a nostalgic 80s time capsule caught on film. Everything wonderful about northern Cali in the 80s’ is captured perfectly in a movie we can revisit time and again. From the mentality of teenage minds right down to the aesthetics. It’s a damn treasure for sure.

7. DOLLS

Stuart Gordon’s DOLLS was one of the first films I REALLY embraced as a kid on my own with zero influence from anyone else. Based solely on the VHS cover art alone, a rental happened and I was delighted every time I rented that movie- and it was legitimately about 98 times.

DOLLS is a creepy concept that marriages a kids’ fantasy that your toys come to life (it ain’t Toy Story folks) and the horror genre. With the visions of both Charles Band and Stuart Gordon, we get DOLLS. A movie that on the surface looks like another B-horror flick, but runs so much deeper, and scarier than that. Definitely, one of the greatest films to come out in the 80s under the radar and hold such a loyal cult following today. I mean, fans are loyal, and that’s a fact.

6. Monster Squad

The film that proved that not only the wolfman does indeed, have nards, but that also you can blow up a fuckin’ werewolf only for him to piece himself back together comes in at number five. And I feel almost sad about that but damn, 1987 was such a great year where other important films were laid on the table alongside the Squad that it just edges it out.

Monster Squad is like The Goonies on a whole ‘nother level of awesomeness with all the monsters we know from the golden age of horror, coming back and wreaking havoc on a small town with Dracula at the helm looking for his amulet so that he may obtain world domination and then destroy it. And only a small group of horror movie fans that call themselves the Monster Squad, can stop them. Also worth noting that Dracula has NEVER been more terrifying. He grabs a little girl by her chin, lifts her up, and calls her a bitch. That’s some balls I couldn’t even wrap my head around as a 5-year-old watching this; the same age as Phoebe in the film. That sort of fucked me up a little.

It’s pretty much every kid horror fan’s dream to meet a real-life monster and then become the hero to stop them to boot. Much like with The Lost Boys and The Gate, the nostalgic aesthetics of this movie pleases our senses but on a level way higher than the aforementioned. It rocks me until I drop.

5. Predator

Predator is a goddamn glorious spectacle full of the manliest of testosterone and honestly, I’ve always been here for it. The mash-up between a steroid-induced action film and a slasher movie deserves some kind of award- but I guess the best I can do is put it in the top five here of 1987.

With a cast like Carl Weathers, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, and of course Arnold Schwarzenegger, in a hunting match with a technologically advanced lone alien in the jungles of the fictional Central American country of Val Verde, ( the same made-up country used for Arnold’s 1985 action gala Commando) it’s hard to not fuckin’ love everything about this movie. From the “chef’s kiss” one-liners, gory kills, and ARNOLD VS an ALIEN thirty-minute finale, Predator is everything an 80s’ action/horror film should be and more.

Now “GET TO THA’ CHOPPA, MYAHHHHHH!”

4. Creepshow 2

On rare occasion, a sequel is right on par with the original, notwithstanding a shorter version but just as good as the 1982 anthology we all love and adore.

With three stories in the horror anthology that just seems to get better as the film rolls along with a frame story of little Billy on the run from some asshole bullies in animated form, Creepshow 2 is a goddamn good time for everyone of all ages. With a screenplay by George Romero and stories by Stephen King, Creepshow has always seemed to me to be the kind of fun, and silly horror anthology that 10-year-olds would try and smugly rent under their parents’ noses at the local video shop. As a witness to this in my youth with friends who didn’t have quite as cool parents as I did, I always associated the anthology series as a youthful gateway into the horror world. To my surprise, a lot of fans don’t seem to like this installment in comparison with the original. My answer to that is simply putting it at number 4 and offering them a one-way ticket to Lake Sludge.

3. Evil Dead 2

And sometimes when a sequel is on par with the original, then there are others that even surpass their predecessor. That is mother fuckin’ Evil Dead 2.

Honestly, there’s no evidence to the contrary that Bruce Campbell is the second coming of Christ because who else can we call when the deadites are on the loose? When Ash saws off his own hand while screaming manically, I’ve never felt closer to God. Evil Dead 2 is heavy metal horror on steroids with a low budget and is better, faster, and more gnarly in every single way all while being unapologetic for what the movie actually is. Self-parodying isn’t uncommon in horror franchises, but the fact that Evil Dead 2 did it to the point that it BECAME the franchise and the most beloved, is fucking wild.

Now, swallow this.

2. Hellraiser

Jesus wept only because there was ONE other horror film that could beat out Clive Barker’s masterpiece- Hellraiser.

I can distinctly remember the time when my little brother was 9 and my parents had to pick him up from a sleepover in the middle of the night because he was scared shitless after watching a little horror movie with a friend. Can we all take a guess on what film that was? Mmmhmm. That being said, I had never seen Hellraiser myself so after this debacle, I dived right into it and never looked at a Rubix cube the same way again.

Hellraiser is beautifully chaotic in its energy to terrify and turn your stomach acid upside-down-or if you prefer, inside-out. Doug Bradley, in his very minimal screen-time, managed to make a monster of an icon out of Pinhead and has become the Robert Englund of his own character; as in, there’s just no replacing the guy. Yes, I’m well aware of the upcoming reboot with the casting of a female; which in actuality, is a lot closer to the literary version of the descriptions of the cenobites not having a binary gender identity. In fact, Pinhead is described as having a feminine-sounding voice, but I don’t care about any of that. Give me Doug, or give me death.

Yep. This is my hell.

1. A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors

Yep, I have crowned a sequel to be the Horror Champ of 1987. Wes Craven’s ANOES gave birth to one of the greatest horror icons and franchises to come out of the 20th century, and Dream Warriors is like The Godfather II to that film; continuing directly from the source at the same steady beat while expanding it much deeper than one could ever dream of, ironically. As an advocate for mental illness, Nightmare 3 is a film I hold near and dear to me; and one I can dissect and pick apart for hours with all the metaphors I’ve found in the film regarding the subject.

The film has a great story, memorable kills, and really was the birthing point of when Freddy really came into his own as a sadistic villain, that somehow you loved?! That’s some genius shit right there. Sort of how Vince Gilligan shaped Walter White in Breaking Bad, no matter how malevolent he made the character, the audiences embraced him even more. Not to mention, it coincides with the time Freddy Mania really got momentum and brought the horror phenom to the mainstream, enticing the youth of our generation to indulge in our curiosities of the horror genre. When a film and a goddamn sequel for that matter can make that kind of impact, it has to be acknowledged and respected.

Bless the Prime Time, Bitch.

Obligatory Honorary Non-Horror Mention

Robocop

Listen, I can’t even talk about films of 1987 without at the very least, giving a shout-out to part man-part machine, Robocop.

While the film itself isn’t horror per se, Robocop harbors some elemental terror in the fact that man is playing GOD over another man’s life and death. Even though the cops of Detroit signed a waiver with OCP gaining them access to their remains in the event of a tragedy, selling your soul to big corp while giving them too much power is just as relevant as is today in this terrifying age that we all live in where the monopoly of greedy corporations take away the average joes’ livelihoods all for the sake of a buck and some extra power. Pretty sick and twisted metaphors inside a badass movie that I’ve seen about 200 times and never get sick of it.

Also, seeing this guy melt as a kid and then explode into a pool of sludge was definitely one of the scariest fuckin’ things I’ve ever seen. Don’t you deny it.

So let’s make like Clarence Boddicker, sniff some wine off our fingers, and raise our glasses to a wonderful year of terror- 1987.

Happy Dirty 30! Top 10 Horror Movies of 1992!

1992 is often labeled by genre fans as a pretty sup-par year in horror, but I’m here calling bullshit on those misguided spun tales via cinephile snobs. There were some stinkers in the form of sequels via some heavyweight franchises like Hellraiser 3: Hell On Earth and Alien 3 (my opinion folks, they DO suck balls); which may just be the reason why horror fans give this year, in particular, some grief. But the horror season of 1992 brought some FANTASTIC cinematic terror to the fans that really shouldn’t be overlooked in the shadow of these popular franchise failures.

So here we go, an official ranking here at Nightmare Nostalgia of the best horror movies of 1992 turning the dirty 30 this year!

Honorable Mention: Demonic Toys

Before you ask, the answer is yes: I would much rather sit through Baby Oopsie Daisy’s devilish sense of potty mouth humor than sit through Alien 3.

Full Moon’s whacky horror about a couple of toys in an abandoned warehouse that are anything but, is Full Moon doing what it does best; to entertain. It’s not Puppet Master material but it was popular enough with the Charles Band crowd to spawn a couple of crossovers and sequels, including one with Toulon’s marionettes themselves. It’s cheesy bad but in all the right ways. Sometimes I just want to watch a bunch of powerful demons parading around as innocent playthings trying to help bring about the birth of the Antichrist, and this does the job.

Don’t be a Moby fuckin’ Dick and grab it at Amazon here!

10. Mikey

Mikey- another killer kid film that gives all skeevies that well, killer kids in film do so well. Family Ties star Brian Bonsall goes from loveable child star to Terry O’ Quinn Stepfather staus in this 1992 psychological horror. Mikey is an abused child and that trauma leads to his homicidal tendencies, including one gnarly scene with a baseball bat that would leave Negan from the Walking Dead grinning like a proud father.

Worth noting a few Nightmare On Elm Street alumnis’ make an appearance in the movie- Whit Hertford (A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child), and Mimi Craven (A Nightmare On Elm Street and Wes Craven’s wife) while also using Freddy in the tagline for the film: “Remember, Jason and Freddy Were Kids Once, Too.” Just an interesting tidbit I thought I’d throw in.

Get it on Amazon here!

9. Lawnmower Man

While Stephen King absolutely hated this adaptation of his short story from “Night Shift” so much he sued to have his name removed from the film, in actuality I don’t think it’s that bad at all. And a horrifying precursor to how advanced technology can really fuck with your mind. Men sure love to play God as history has told time and again and as mankind advances, the more maniacal we become.

Anyway, I appreciate it for what it is. Mind fuck your way over to Amazon for a copy for your collection!

8. Sleepwalkers

King had some serious displeasure with Lawnmower Man, but in ’92 the master of horror wrote his first featured film NOT based on any of his previous works in Sleepwalkers, and is completely underrated if you’re asking me. The film has a ton of horror icon cameos like Clive Barker and Tobe Hooper and is a Stephen King penned movie directed by Mick Garris surrounding vampires and cats. That’s really all I need to enjoy myself here.

Pick it up at Amazon here!

7. Dr. Giggles

If you’re asking me, Larry Drake’s Dr. Giggles is an entirely overlooked horror icon and I’m here to set the record straight: “Laughter is the best medicine.” And if you read any of my mental health and horror-related pieces and resonate, you would totally agree. It’s full of fun, gore, and smart filmmaking where you wouldn’t think you would find any. Yet here we are, talking about Dr. fuckin’ Giggles.

Just give it a jab. Pick it up here!

6. Bram Stoker’s Dracula

Anyone trying to fill the shoes of Bela Lugosi is likely going to come up a fang or two short, but goddamn I do love Gary Oldman as Dracula. Plus, any movie with national treasure Keanu Reeves in it, is okay by me. The Academy, although they mostly get these things wrong, recognized the 1992 visual stunner with four awards that year. Pretty impressive and a monumental win for the horror genre. The gothic tale of romance and horror is a great watch for a dreary Sunday afternoon or just any time you feel like watching Oldman at his best.

Snag the 4k edition here at Amazon!

5. Pet Sematary 2

Without question, the greatest thing about Pet Sematary 2 is Clancy Brown as asshole Gus Gilbert. While that may not be much of a powerpoint in terms of ranking it so high here, Clancy birthed a horror cult icon of sorts here and basically carried the film with this egregious character, and that counts for something. Especially in a film with a trending star such as Edward Furlong. He stole the whole show and gave us another side to Stephen King’s immaculate tale of tragic death and the human experience.

Salute the Clancy Brown by revisiting it here!

4. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

David Lynch doing what he does best and fucking with the minds of audiences is nothing short of just fantastic. The prequel to the television series “Twin Peaks”, Fire Walk With Me chronicles Laura Palmer’s final days leading up to her death and finally revealing her killer. It was pretty goddamn exciting back in the day and watching it now just brings me pure hypnotizing joy diving into Lynch’s strange world of visual symmetry.

Dive down the rabbit hole again here!

3. Braindead (Dead Alive)

Although Peter Jackson’s Braindead wasn’t released in the US, and had a name change, until early 1993, it was released in the director’s home of New Zealand in 1992 as Braindead and that’s where I think it counts as a 1992 film; and by God, it is one of the best.

Hailed as one of the goriest movies to this very day, and exceeds all expectations in what a horror comedy can and should be. As a zombie film, it stands out from all others as being over-the-top pure fun but with a black-box warning as some of the scenes in this genre treasure are almost too sickening to watch, at least for those who have a serious gag-reflux anyway.

All hail the Braindead here and relive the classic once more- just don’t eat prior to viewing.

2. Army Of Darkness

I don’t even need to explain this all. If you question Army of Darkness‘ greatness in any shape or form, you shouldn’t even be here pal.

I’m one of those that enjoys Army maybe even a little more so than Evil Dead itself. Bruce Campbell’s character of Ash really came into his own as a legendary horror hero with memorable one-liners and a full-circle scope of who Ash Williams really is. Plus, the clay skeleton army is just a lot of fun.

Shop smart. Shop S-Mart and pick up the Screwhead edition Blu-Ray here!

1. Candyman

Sweets to the sweet and there as shit isn’t anything sweeter to come out of 1992 than Candyman.

Clive Barker’s story of “The Forbidden” went visual this year, birthing a rare POC horror icon and no one could have done it or WILL EVER do it better than Tony Todd. This movie is so beautiful in terms of score, cinematography, and real-world horror revenge with a love story underneath all of it. There hasn’t been anything like it before, or since that moves my emotions in every direction quite like this film and stands as not just one of the greatest horror movies of 1992, but of the entire decade in itself.

Be his victim once more here!

That about wraps it up nostalgic nuggets! What would you add to the roster of 1992? The Gate II? Perhaps Innocent Blood? Sound off in the comments!

40 Years Of Terror! Top 10 Horror Movies of 1982

Well, here we are once again; another 40 years from the time some of the most explosive and memorable horror movies hit the public’s eyeballs and I’m here to celebrate this all-important milestone for what might be, the greatest year of horror ever! Yeah, yeah, I know I’ve said that about 1981, but the following year is really giving 81′ a kick in the ass as far as tried and true horror classics.

1982 is a year for innovations in the genre of Sci-Fi and the Paranormal. Filmmakers really lit a fire under the ass of the ghostly corner of the genre, helping us understand just how truly terrifying the unseen world of the dead can be. The torment in some of these films is truly disturbing- and with it mostly involving women, films like Poltergeist, Amityville II, and The Entity adds the undertone smack-in-the-face reminder of the long-standing theme of the horrors of reality for women that we have long endured. Rape, manipulation, and assault from an unseen force is a metaphor for a horrible truth that occurs on the daily basis- which in turn just makes the film all the more terrifying.

In the arena of Sci-Fi and practical effects, 82′ is a gold standard. This year, the genre really stepped up the shock value bracket with a lot of in-your-face gore and unforgettable scenes of movie magic that modern makeup wizards fall back upon as a refresher. Perhaps with the exception of using real skeletal remains in the final edits. Of which, worth noting was rather common back in the day in terms of production cost. Nowadays, it’s become rather taboo but the art of using real skeletons and human parts in film dates back to as early as Universal’s Frankenstein.

Yep. That’s a real dead dude there.

Undeniable classic horror tops the list with a string of strong, original horror films we’ll revisit along the way- including a few slasher sequel classics. The most interesting aspect perhaps of all via this list is that when a lot of these films were released, they were universally panned and hated by the collective. Now they’ve grown on society like a titular parasite invading our senses showing us now what audiences and asshole critics couldn’t see back then. Kind of like “The Thing” hopping from body to body taking off the blinders wowing the shit out of modern cinemaniacs.

Honestly, isn’t this everyone’s face via a first viewing of The Thing?

Anyways, let’s get to it!

10. Swamp Thing

Some of you may scoff that I decided to put Wes Craven’s superhero horror film Swamp Thing over other selections that didn’t quite make the cut, but my opinions’ are not like most everyone else- which is perhaps why some of you even bother to read my weirdo blog in the first place. Gotta throw in a wrench to keep ya’ll on your toes! But, at the end of the day, fantastic performances by Adrienne Barbeau and Ray Wise solidify a quirky, campy, and downright guilty pleasure story that is SWAMP THING. It’s entertaining as hell that tells us the origins of the Bayou creature at a steady pace that never drags, allowing for us to enjoy this underrated gem for exactly what it is.

Also, Wes Craven guys. Grab it here at Amazon!

9. Pieces

Before Jigsaw played games, Timmy went for the throat and just fucked your whole world up.

This absolutely bonkers piece of slasher cinema might be one of the cheesiest horror flicks I’ve ever seen paired with the most gruesome kill scenes- you can’t help but laugh and love it. Pieces is a bit of a hot mess but in the best of ways; and if you’d argue there isn’t such a thing, watch the movie and you’ll 100% agree. It’s a straightforward slasher with both tense moments and ridiculous sub-plotting as far as trying to throw us on who the actual killer is. Which makes it kind of rather charming. What else can I say other than it’s a fun ride to take watching a girl get her legs chainsawed off in the corner of a locker room. Some mighty fine 80s’ horror right there.

Grab it here on Amazon!

8. The Entity

I saw The Entity at an entirely too young of an age and this movie scared the ever-loving shit out of me- and still kind of does as the loosely based true tale of a woman’s torture with a paranormal spirit will tend to do that to a gal.

Based on the notorious Doris Bither case of 1974, The Entity follows a single mother being raped, over and over again by a stalker spirit. Much like in the real-life case, the movie itself is an engaging tragedy and sexploitation of the female body walking a tightrope line between provocative terror and flat-out fetish. It can be a hard watch for victims of SA, in which case this ain’t for you at all. But if you can stomach it, The Entity can stand shoulder to shoulder with the best of the supernatural thrillers out there and Barbara Hershey is just exceptional in her role as a distraught victim of this pervo spirit.

Pick up the collector’s edition on Amazon here!

7. Tenebre

The master of Giallo Dario Argento, and the film that was successfully prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act by the Director of Public Prosecutions in the UK up until 1999! Tenebre is literally a body of horror art, making a profound statement about the duplicity of society. Which is probably why it ruffled some feathers along with all the insane violence.

Tenebrae follows an American horror novelist Peter Neal who is promoting his book in Rome, where his arrival also coincides with some gruesome murders where the bodies are plastered with pages of his latest release, “Tenebre”. Argento’s greatest hit is jam-packed with fantastic cinematography and comes correct as an 80’s Italian horror film- complete with a European synthesizer soundtrack. Not to mention the movie is just pretty to look at. Even the kills are just as beautiful as they are brutal.

This movie will probably be higher up on more snooty cinephile lists; however, I am neither a movie snob nor a proclaimed “master cinephile”. I mean, I DID put Pieces on this list if you need a reminder. I’m just an asshole with a blog that has been a fan of horror movies since my diaper days. But anyway, it’s a great watch, so grab it here on Amazon!

6. Friday The 13th: Part 3

Friday The 13th Part 3 (in 3D as that’s the true title) is a monumental addition to not only the franchise but this list itself as this IS the first time Jason wears the now-iconic hockey mask. Also, it was filmed in Super 3D which just made it extra cool.

Even without the 3D gimmick, the second sequel to basically the king of the 80s’ slasher genre, stands on its own as a solid horror film. It’s also the only film in the series where the victims’ AREN’T camp counselors, but rather a gal Chris, and some friends visiting her childhood home at Higgins Haven, Chris’ father’s old farm which just so happens to be sitting right next to old Camp Crystal Lake. What a coincidence! Between the oh-so-extra kills that play off the 3D experience and Harry Manfredini’s score better than it’s even been, Part III is an important entry as it truly gives a visual birth to the now iconic Jason Voorhees that will all know and love.

Nab it here at Amazon for only $7!

5. Amityville II: The Possession

Amityville II takes everything we know about the first film, throws some steroids and fire on it, and serves it well done with a side of what-in-the-actual-fuck.

Penned by Halloween III‘s Tommy Lee Wallace, and Italian director Damiano Damiani, Amityville II was destined to be a wild ride. The sequel is actually a prequel with the Montellis loosely based on the real-life DeFeo family. The Ronnie Defeo character, Sonny Montelli, can’t live up to his asshole Dad’s (Burt Young) ridiculous expectations, and thanks to some demonic entities, the kid finally snaps back. While I feel bad for the family obviously, honestly, fuck the dad here. There’s a deleted scene where the father Anthony is anally raping Mrs. Montelli.

This entry is actually based on both Defeo’s ever-changing stories about the murders, and Hans Holtzer’s wildly controversial book, “Murder in Amityville”- where the author speculates as to exactly why Ronnie Defeo killed his entire family. The disturbing, incest relationship Sonny has with his sister Patricia, a volatile parallel between Ronnie and his father, and the speculation of the home being built on an Indian Burial ground all make it into this twisted true-crime retelling. Coupled with a demon possession plot, makes Amityville II one of the most unforgettable, and quite frankly, one of the most horrifying horror films I’ve ever seen. I personally think it’s way scarier than the first movie.

Grab it here at Amazon!

4. Halloween III: Season Of The Witch

A month after writer Tommy Lee Wallace’s Amityville II: The Possession was released, his directorial effort of the highly-anticipated sequel of the Halloween franchise hit theaters in October of 1982- to well, a lot of pissed off fans.

The fact that Michael Myers was this time, not the killer and Season of the Witch took place in an entirely different universe where the prior films were just fantasy fiction, really rubbed fans the wrong way as they felt they had been swindled into a franchise they didn’t recognize- at least, this is according to my own family who are some of the biggest Halloween fans I know and put me on the path of horror movie righteousness. It makes sense; however, this sort of attitude virally panned this entry without giving it a proper chance. Over the years, Halloween III: Season of the Witch has developed a massive cult following, and the red-headed step-child is finally getting the recognition it deserves: as a fantastic piece of horror movie Halloween goodness and dare I say, the Halloweenist of all the Halloween movies. Yeah, I said it.

Grab the beautiful collector’s edition here!

3. Creepshow

What happens when George A. Romero, Tom Savani, and Stephen King have an orgy lovechild? Creepshow that’s what and the goddamn greatest anthology there ever was, and ever will be.

Also, now we’ve ventured into back to back Tom Atkins. Fantastic.

Taking the excitement and forbidden fruit of childhood horror comics and visually splattering it on screen into five, cinematically stunning tales of terror, Creepshow is the Horror God’s gift to fans. I don’t even know what to say that hasn’t already been said about it, but I can state this: It perfectly nails what it feels like to be a part of the horror community and how exactly it feels to be a horror junkie in general. Disapproval from those who will fail to ever understand while we quietly disappear into the background with our beloved fetish- and yes, also silently plotting our revenge on them. I’ll never go as far as Leslie Neilson, but I’m not opposed to dousing someone’s home in 1,000 cockroaches to those who scoff at the horror community.

Pick it up here kiddies!

2. The Thing

Much like with Halloween III, John Carpenter’s The Thing was universally shit on by critics. This right here, ladies and gentlemen, is why NEVER listen to a glorified voice on the matter because 95% of the time, they don’t know jack from shit on what fans like. Also, goes without saying never, EVER read a horror movie review that isn’t from a reputable horror site. You’re just going to get steered in the wrong direction from a bunch of jackoffs that don’t understand the genre anyway.

That being said, The Thing is quite possibly, the greatest Sci-Fi horror flick of all time- and a remake at that! For me, The Thing is constantly picking a fight with Ridley Scott’s Alien as the top contender spot; both with similar themes of claustrophobia in isolation. Also with members of the crew from both films serving as a possible threat to each other. However, in The Thing, the monster’s agenda is prominent and it’s survival is of the utmost importantace. Every part of the “Thing” is an individual life form with its own survival instinct, meaning it will sever itself in half if that means it can escape from danger faster. All it needs to turn into another creature it just a sample of their DNA, absorb it, which allows it to take on the copied subject’s appearance, memories, and mannerisms. I really wouldn’t want an entire world populated with these things. Would you?

I might even get some shit here for putting this as the runner-up, but I gotta go with my gut here on this one. Relive the terror here!

1. Poltergeist

Written by Stephen Spielberg and directed by Tobe Hooper, albeit debate still stands on where all true credit for the film goes, Poltergeist is the horror champion of 1982 for all the right reasons.

Malevolent spirits stealing a child and tormenting the Freelings play heavy on the innocence factor. Things are a lot scarier when purity is involved- much like when little Regan turned into a green-slime puking demon in The Exorcist. The anguish and trauma the family, in particular, Mom Diane (JoBeth Williams) goes through, you feel deep in your bones. Not to mention all the real-world terror and loss felt offscreen that became legendary in the film world; you know, the whole “Poltergeist Curse” thing.

Poltergeist is hauntingly beautiful. Foregoing a traditional sinister musical score for the film, we’re embraced by a sweet, yet haunting lullaby while we all know a five-year-old girl is alone in some horrific purgatory with a bunch of ghosts clawing at her to “lead them into the light”. The movie starts as innocent and carefree as any film, and the intensity grows as we roll along. Brother and sister playing? Mom taking a bath? Dude eating a bag of Cheetos? All terrifying. We all know something bad is coming. We just don’t know when or how. Until an ugly mug of a beast ghost shows up to let them know they are not in control of a damn thing.

Plus, let’s not forget this magnificent horror treasure induced a giant fear of clowns among the masses. The power of cinema folks.

At the end of the day, what makes Poltergeist the end-all for horror in 82′ is that ultimately, it’s a tour-de-force of filmmaking. There’s so much going on beyond the terrifying surface that says a lot about America, suburbia, and society in general. Here we have a film set in the early ‘80s, opening with the national anthem, where a yuppie dad (Craig T. Neilson) who builds homes basically on top of each other (and on cemetery grounds for that matter) is reading a Ronald Reagan biography. Of course, this is unbeknownst to him, but not his boss, who knew damn well what they building this sweet neighborhood on. Economic gain and greed while they attempt to erase history in the process. Reaganomics everyone.

Travel back to horror suburbia here!

So there you have it, a fine year for horror movies indeed. Also, my birth year and have no shame in claiming any of these. So let’s hear it- what’s YOUR favorite horror from 1982?