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Five Horrifically Beautiful Traumatic Movies That Don Bluth Gave Us As Kids

The 80s were a fantastic time to be a kid and a horror fan. If you were a product of this generation, chances are you were traumatized in one way or another by the dark delicacies of the media that gave absolutely ZERO fucks about not softening any blows when it came to life lessons in the form of movies and television. Whether it was watching Punky Brewster’s friend Cherie almost die in a fridge, or your grandma popping in a freshly rented VHS flick called WATERSHIP DOWN for the grandkids to watch because she thought it was a “lovely Easter movie”, we got hit with some messed up visuals that would never get past a writer’s discussion room in modern society. Which kind of pisses me off because I want my kids to experience something as cool and terrifying as a movie about the beloved Dorothy Gale getting sent to electric shock therapy and then facing off with a headless witch.

That’s some bullshit.

Anyway, one of the greatest culprits of true nightmare nostalgia for our childhood era is the great Don Bluth. For anyone unfamiliar or for Gen Z’ers, Don Bluth was a former Disney animator who made his mark as early as 1959 with Walt Disney’s SLEEPING BEAUTY, with his last animation directing credit with THE FOX AND THE HOUND before he left to start his own company in 1979- DON BLUTH ENTERTAINMENT. During the 1980s and 90s, he made a slew of gorgeous animated films that also, in turn, traumatized the shit out of a generation of kids.

And one animation for a video arcade game that I WOULD DIE TO SEE as a full-length movie.

Don Bluth radically distanced himself from his Disney days with animation he felt was more “pure” to the craft by keeping the hand drawn cel the way to go with his continuing work. The result was always one of passion and masterful craftsmanship that really pushed home some of the dark, and gritty themes Bluth films went balls deep with. That’s how you’ll always know you’re watch a DB movie. It always feels like something sinister is lurking right around the corner with the unnerving way he animated these films and of course, a central character always dies or has some type of serious traumatic event happen that in turn, spills into our own emotions, successfully grounding us into a euphoric depression. And I think somehow, as kids while it may have traumatized us, those moments served also as lessons that we, as children, needed to both see and hear for our own exponential growth and how to grieve in our own way.

Don Bluth never shied away from dealing with the shadows that are the human journey. Dealing with themes of sadness, loss, anger, and death remains a staple in almost all of his films. There were even moments where I felt like he was fucking with us and our emotions even more: Like when Littlefoot sees the shadow of what looks like his recently deceased mother but turns out to be his own, and he just sinks even deeper into depression. I was literally seven and screamed “FUCK YOU” to the screen while shedding my own tears; like goddamn was that necessary? But you know, looking back, it absolutely was. These are stages of grief, and it’s seen from the perspective of a child who had his world shattered. It really showed us kids that life isn’t all sunshine and fairytale castles. Bluth said, “This is life, little people. It’s a wild ride of emotions, and we need to talk about the realities of it.- also, fuck your feelings very much.”

That’s the best way I can describe a Bluth film, anyway. Narrowing it down to the top five movies that stayed with us through our childhood into adulthood from the DON of DARK ANIMATION was slightly challenging, but I think I got it right.

5. ANASTASIA (1997)

The legend of Anastasia comes to life in this late 90s Bluth entry about an orphaned Russian girl, the revolution surrounding her country, and the real-life villain of Rasputin (voiced by Christopher Lloyd). The animated reimagining of one of history’s darkest figures for a children’s film consists of the “wizard” in scenes where we see his eyes pop out, his jaws falling off as he lingers somewhere between life and death; much like the real Rasputin, who was infamously hard to kill, or so legend says. I mean, sure, what kid doesn’t love to see a decomposing evil wizard corpse do a full-on song and dance routine with his body parts popping off?

4. AN AMERICAN TAIL (1986)

AN AMERICAN TAIL was a personal favorite of mine as a little kid. The story of mice immigrants coming to America on a ship from Russia with SURPRISE, one little mouse named Fievel getting thrown overboard and being separated from his family; leaving little Fievel Mouskawitz on his own to navigate America on his own while he searches for his loved ones who presume him dead. This movie is where I also started to notice that perhaps Bluth is a dog guy rather than a cat person. I swear every film he makes, cats are villainous, vile creatures! Except for Tiger, anyway. The hoards of cats are almost downright terrifying and they really label them as bad animals! I suppose this was done metaphorically as immigrants, once upon a time, came to America thinking there was no violence in the streets. No cats in America? LOL. Let’s just stick with he hates cats.

That being said, Sir Derp of Derp of Pazuzu would like a word, sir.

With that out of my system, from the wave monster arising from the Atlantic Ocean that beats the hell out of the ship, and the reason Fievel gets knocked out to sea, to the Giant Mouse of Minsk, those two scenes in particular were visually pretty damn horrifying in such a beautifully artistic way. As a four-year-old, it successfully gave me nightmares, so hats off to a giant wooden rat with 20-foot-long teeth and the fact I would never ride on a boat until my teens because I was pretty sure I was going to get pummeled by a 100-foot wave monster man.

3. THE LAND BEFORE TIME (1988)

Yeah, well, we all very much know where this one is headed. One of Bluth’s most tragic films here just exhumes sadness at almost every turn leaning into the age of the dinosaur and the background of historic events that plagued the Earth at this time. Let’s also throw in a heavy scene where a mother is fighting to protect her child from being eaten by a T Rex and getting killed in the process. Exit stage left to an elongated scene of utter turmoil, and the dying mother mutters some final words of wisdom to her little one that “she’ll always be with him”. Make sure you have that Pizza Hut tie-in toy ready to clutch- If you don’t cry at this scene, you just might be a sociopath.

2. THE SECRET OF NIMH (1982)

An animal lover such as myself can find this movie extremely disturbing. Aside from all the beautifully dark imagery, the underlying tale of NIMH is sufficiently evil all on its own. Touching on the very real issues of cruel animal testing, rats and mice were taken to the NIMH labs and injected with needles full of fuck knows what.

One of these experiments led to their advanced intelligence and eventual escape, which brings us to another terrifying tale revolving around the struggles of love, betrayal, and ultimate power with the wife of one of the escaped NIMH mice, Mrs. Frisbey is on a journey to save her dying son.

Oh, and don’t forget again, the vicious terrible cat villain of the film!

Also, I can’t be the only one who thought that damn cave of bones-dwelling owl, was completely terrifying with those glowing eyes and no-nonsense demeanor. In fact, I know I wasn’t. So I’ll just leave Big Daddy Owl here for him to drum up some traumatic memories.

1. ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN (1989)

There are a few movies in my life that I make the conscious choice to never revisit, and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is one of them. It’s not because it’s a bad movie, it’s just that it’s way too sad. Again, being an animal lover, the last thing I wanted to face as a child was that my dog was, eventually, going to die. And while the sentiment of storytelling is that of the main title unless your dog is an absolute piece of shit I guess, is supposed to offer some comfort, all it did was make me cry- and a lot of other kids too. Hell, the story starts out of trauma hell already with street thug Charlie (voiced by Burt Reynolds), our main character mutt, being murdered and sent to Heaven where he of course can’t help himself and steals a pocket watch that allows him more time. Oh, but there’s punishment for that: when the watch stops ticking, he will be sent straight to Hell, where we get a nice sneak of it with dog skeletons and cat demons (because Bluth thinks kitties are the devil, right)!

He then befriends an orphaned little girl named Anne Marie who has been kidnapped and – you guessed it – coerced into forced labor by Carface, an evil dog who is also Charlie’s old partner and yep, murderer. Charlie forms a deep bond with the orphaned little girl, proving that his hardened heart can be softened but of course, dies at the end when she needs him most. However, the change in his attitude allows him to enter the pearly gates this time, for good.

What kills me most I think is learning about the death of Judith Barsi who voiced both little Anne Marie and Ducky (The Land Before Time) in a tragic murder-suicide at the hands of her abusive father after the fact, which really seals the deal in just how sad this movie really is.

Yeah, perfect bedtime story material, folks.

Now excuse me while I go wipe my face from cutting all these onions and go hug my animals.

We Almost Got An Extremely Violent and Gory R-Rated “Gremlins” Movie

Unfathomable to believe that GREMLINS hits their 40th anniversary this year, and with that comes four decades of dedicated loyalty to either Gizmo or the rebellious Stripe, (you like one better than the other, admit it). Stripe, technically an offspring of Gizmo, is that punk rock kid that blows his nose on your family room curtains, eats the last of the fried chicken in the fridge, and breaks into the candy store to steal all the yum yums.

Also, I’ve heard he’s an award-winning cannonballer.

Then there’s the loveable Gizmo. Everyone’s favorite cute and cuddly bringer of the apocalypse, even though he doesn’t mean any of it. He’s so damn adorable and friendly, Billy’s dad Rand Peltzer premonition of the Mogwai possibly replacing doggies and man’s best friend could have been a foreseeable outcome. If only it wasn’t for Gizzy’s one little flaw-his ability to mass produce an army of homicidal, albeit humorous, clones that aren’t as friendly as him.

Ahh, well. No one is perfect.

However, Gizmo wasn’t always slated to be America’s furball sweetheart of the 80s. In fact, the original script of GREMLINS wrote him in as the ultimate villain!

In Chris Columbus’ first draft of GREMLINS, Gizmo (who is just referred as Mogwai in the script) is basically what we see in the final product as Stripe, only WAY WORSE. There is no relationship between him and Billy- although Billy DID receive him as a Christmas gift in pretty much the same as the final draft. Instead, the nameless Mogwai has water spilled on him, in the same manner we see in the film by Pete (played by Corey Feldman in the movie), and out pops a couple of little hellraisers. who all hail to King Gizmo, I mean, Mogwai, and they proceed to EAT BARNEY. Yep. You heard that right. They eat Billy’s best friend instead of a hefty plate of leftover fried chicken.

THOSE BASTARDS.

Poor Barney isn’t the first to fall victim to the Gremsters in this original script, but rather, half the goddamn town of Kingston Falls gets murdered! Pete goes Christmas caroling and gets eaten alive by a hoard of gremlins. The sheriff gets a more brutal hands-on send-off, and Billy and friends come upon a McDonald’s where everyone inside the restaurant is dead with half-eaten Big Macs hanging out of their mouths.

I personally would have loved to see that.

Worth noting, the early script version here DID have the Gremlin hoard in the theater head banging to SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES and they kept that throughout the entire screenplay process where it finally landed in the movie. Some things are just too good to ever throw in the script edits trash can.

Then, there’s Billy’s dear mother, Lynn Peltzer. Stories were going around for quite some time, and in a few articles making the rounds, Lynn had her head cut off by Gizmo and his band of merry maniacs. As far as I know, other than in hearsay or in commentaries, there is no mention of this in the script available on the Internet. In fact, it’s the second draft -not the first, which I will link all of you to at the bottom of this piece so you can read it for yourselves- and people are spreading this as fact. Well, the facts are in black and white here and state: that Lynn was lured to the attic, attacked by the creatures, and killed. That’s for certain. But no decapitation occurred here.

Now, of course, Stephen Spielberg swoops in and convinces everyone GREMLINS would work better at a PG level; so that’s what we got. I’m not mad about it. Hell, GREMLINS is in my top ten movies of all time. Yet still, I also wouldn’t be mad if this film were to EVER get the proper horror movie monster treatment. Can you imagine a homicidal Gizmo? I think they should take a crack at it.

You can read the entire Chris Columbus draft by clicking here, and I highly recommend doing so.

In the meantime, let’s grab some freshly squeezed orange juice from the Peltzer Juicer, and let me oblige you with my personal favorite scene from GREMLINS. While the throwing of Mrs. Deagle through her own window is as close to a second as they come, the snow plow home invasion with Murray and his wife makes me laugh my goddamn ass off. I mean, and that maniacal laugh from Mr. Plow Gremlin? He clearly loves his job! Give that man a raise! Comment below with your favorite scene in GREMLINS and let’s celebrate 40 years of people getting murdered by little hysterical creatures while we enjoyed every damn second of it as kids- and even more as adults.

10 Characters from the “Halloween” Franchise Who Definitely Deserved It

The HALLOWEEN franchise is, without a doubt, a favorite topic of discussion here on NN and if you’ve ever looked at my list of pieces whether here on this blog, or elsewhere I’ve written for the past 10 years, you’ll come to the very correct conclusion that yes, I’m a superfan and could probably write about the subject forever without repeating myself once. However, there’s one thing that hasn’t been discussed by me, or really much anywhere, and that’s a hot take on who in the entire series of films actually deserved to die in these movies. Sure, there’s been talks here and there in forums; perhaps an article by some dopey website that aren’t even catered to horror fans. So, as a superfan myself, I’m obliged to take on the task, throw my rage at the keyboard and say “FUCK THESE GUYS, THEY HAD IT COMING.”

And no, as annoying as Tina can be in HALLOWEEN 5, she didn’t make the cut.

So let’s start slashing our way into these insufferable sons of bitches.

10. Bob (HALLOWEEN 1978)

If you’re wondering why I think Bob deserved to be strung up in the Wallace’s kitchen, the guy DID joke about ripping an eight-year-old girl’s clothes off. Plus because of his death, we wouldn’t have gotten one of the coolest shots of the entire franchise right here:

9. Kelly Meeker (HALLOWEEN 4)

The Haddonfield homewrecker, Kelly Meeker, the sheriff’s daughter, is just a total bitch. When Rachel confronted this hoe about sleeping with her boyfriend Brady (another fucking hoe) Kelly basically told Rachel that it was her fault that her man looked away and decided to spend Halloween with her instead. Ugh. She had it coming when Myers cleverly used a shotgun on her without pulling the trigger. Also, thanks for the Halloween costume inspiration!

But seriously, much love to the sweetheart that is Kathleen Kinmont. Only a fantastic actress can make us hate like that.

8. Mikey (HALLOWEEN 5)

An obvious choice if there ever was one. This prick had zero redeeming qualities. The guy only cared about his car and his dick. Tina, honey. You almost made the list because of your “electric connection” to toxic men.

Al least when you were riding with Mikey 2.0, you weren’t being verbally abused.

7. Pretty Much Everyone in HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION

I’m just going to make a bold statement and say that every single person who died in HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION, had it coming and I felt not a bit of sorry for any of them-including Laurie Strode. Everybody was just so dumb – downed and straight up intolerable. Be it their lack of common sense (Laurie with her wanting to “make sure” and that cameraman who just stood there waiting for Michael to slash his ass), or the entitlement of the entire cast of the “Internet reality show”. I literally cheered for every single one of them to go down. And let’s face it- the one guy who isn’t even really an actor per se, Busta Rhymes, is the only watchable thing in this movie at all.

Shout out Horror Net for putting together this kill count for RESURRECTION.

6. John Strode (HALLOWEEN 6)

Another no brainer is the abusive piece of shit John Strode. The uncle of Laurie Strode is one we were all very happy to see go down when it fianlly happened- and the fact it was extra violent was even more bittersweet. Smacking around your wife and kids in a horror movie gets your head blown up. Those are the rules!

5. Dr. Ranbir Sartain (HALLOWEEN 2018)

The idea of an anti-Loomis running around Haddonfield is entertaining. But I think Micheal was just as tired of hearing him talk as the audience was. Totally deserved that curb stomp. We can all only hope that we possess the superhuman strength, endurance, and durability in our 60s that Michael Myers has in this movie.

4. The Coroner Paramedics (Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN 2)

As much as I despise this movie and quite frankly, think pretty much everyone in Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN flicks deserve what they get, this scene in particular in RZ’s H2 is fairly satisfying and brutal enough to win a Golden Chainsaw award in 2010. The pair of nasty jackasses “joking” about necrophilia with dead women was enough for me to give this film a shout-out when Michael did his thing. And it was a beautiful service for the rest of us.

3. Ronnie (Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN 2007)

I don’t even need to explain this one-just roll that beautiful bean footage. I do think he got off way too easy though.

2. The Entire Halloween Kills Mob That Made Lance Tivoli Commit Suicide

EVIL DIES TONIGHT. And you know what, it sort of does when this asshole mob out of pure fear, drive a man, Lance Tivoli, to his own death in a case of mistaken identity as the mob believes him to be Myers unmasked. To make it worse, the man suffered from severe mental illness. It’s a terrible tragedy to have someone who cries out for help, actively seeking medical assistance, and suffers a deathly fate for simply existing.  So yes; I’m gonna let Joker take this one for Tommy Doyle and the mob of Haddonfield:

1. Michael Myers (Halloween Ends)

If you’re shocked to see Myers at number one, you just might be a sociopath. Listen, he did humanity a couple of favors by ridding a few insufferable twats from the Earth. But he also killed a lot of innocent people too, and plenty who didn’t deserve it. Danny Trejo anyone? I think the way he died was a bit weak and sort of a cop out, but then again there’s a lot I don’t agree with HALLOWEEN ENDS, and it has nothing to do with Corey. I actually thought him being the new Myers was a cool direction to go- until they killed him and fucked up their own potential. But eh, take what we can get for now, I guess. Let’s just hope the next set of reboot films gets things right this time.

Before anyone asks me why I didn’t place Conal Cochran on here, it’s because he knows his Halloween folklore, so he gets a pass from me. I respect that kind of knowledge.