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35 Years of Terror! Top 10 Horror Movies of 1987

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1987: A year of historic events indeed. The first “The Simpsons” cartoon short is shown on The Tracey Ullman Show. President Ronald Reagan delivered his famous speech at the Berlin Wall. And Freddy Krueger delivered his most infamous line of the Nightmare franchise for the first time, “Welcome to Prime Time Bitch!” Also yes, I consider a Krueger one-liner as significant as the Berlin Wall speech- don’t judge me.

That being said, 1987 was a monumental year for horror. Considering the previous year 1986 and one hell of a year to follow, ’87 did a pretty bang-up job of another year full of horror flicks that we would cherish for years to come. So let’s just get right to it, but not before we give one honorary mention. There were so many damn good horror films out of this year it pains me to leave this one out so a big shout to…

The Stepfather

No one can play a psychopath step-parent like Terry O’ Quinn and that’s just how it is. Jerry Blake wants the perfect family, and he’ll kill to get it; which he does again and again as it seems like the perfect family doesn’t exist- shocker. Preying on widows and divorcees, Jerry/Henry/Bill whatever his name is that day is every bit as intimidating and sus even when trying not to be; so I find it a little insulting being a woman that these ladies aren’t tuning into that ol’ women’s intuition.

Although it would be extremely difficult today in a tech-social-media society for a homicidal maniac to be able to get away with these kinds of shenanigans, in 1987, it’s a fun ride and a gentle reminder of what once was in a pre-internet era: A bountiful time for serial killers.

Also, I like to fantasize that Terry O’ Quinn’s character of Sheriff Haller in Silver Bullet is in fact Jerry Blake gone mad with brain damage after that werewolf beating. Disappeared and began a new life as a serial killer unbeknownst of his life before. Watch them back to back and give that theory a try. Makes it that much more fun.

10. The Gate

The Gate is nothing short of bonkers nostalgia full of good old-fashioned Canadian charm and that’s exactly why we love it.

Kind of like Stranger Things meets The Goonies for a visual reference, The Gate takes that nostalgic 80s’ kids’ in danger hullabaloo and dials it into B-Movie madness with little satanic panic demons running around everywhere trying to take over the Earth thanks to a couple of curious kids digging up a portal of Hell in a suburban backyard. Because, that’s where all portals to Hell lie dormant, am I right? For context, one of the kids coincidentally finds a heavy metal LP that comes with a demonic bible of sorts that gives the kids all the information they might need should they want to open a portal to the dark realms and summon demonic forces.

That’s pretty much all you need to know to know this movie rules.

9. Prince Of Darkness

He might be best known for Halloween and The Thing, but John Carpenter’s Prince Of Darkness might be the creepiest and underrated of all his horror film entries. The score alone is overwhelmingly sadistic and unnerving and it damn well better be if you got the likes of Alice Cooper cast in your movie.

Horror genius Carpenter mixes faith, fear, and science into a delicious cocktail of horror movie cosmo when an old abandoned church a priest finds an old relic, a key, an old book, and a mysterious vat of green liquid. Mix in a group of scientists lobbying it up in the church along with a group of vagrants gathering outside the church, and the unthinkable happens: the green liquid attacks and it is the unholiest of Nickelodeon green gak you’ll see this side of Double Dare.

8. The Lost Boys

I feel like I might get a massive amount of shit from die-hard Lost Boys fans for putting this so low on the list. But, it is what it is folks. Also, I still believe the sax man in chains needed more screen time in an encore song, thanks very much.

Santa Carla is a hell of a place to live- if you’re a vampire that is. But it also makes for one hell of a movie, especially with not one, BUT TWO Coreys’ involved in trying to take down a gang of punk-rock teenage vampires. What I love most about The Lost Boys is that is a nostalgic 80s time capsule caught on film. Everything wonderful about northern Cali in the 80s’ is captured perfectly in a movie we can revisit time and again. From the mentality of teenage minds right down to the aesthetics. It’s a damn treasure for sure.

7. DOLLS

Stuart Gordon’s DOLLS was one of the first films I REALLY embraced as a kid on my own with zero influence from anyone else. Based solely on the VHS cover art alone, a rental happened and I was delighted every time I rented that movie- and it was legitimately about 98 times.

DOLLS is a creepy concept that marriages a kids’ fantasy that your toys come to life (it ain’t Toy Story folks) and the horror genre. With the visions of both Charles Band and Stuart Gordon, we get DOLLS. A movie that on the surface looks like another B-horror flick, but runs so much deeper, and scarier than that. Definitely, one of the greatest films to come out in the 80s under the radar and hold such a loyal cult following today. I mean, fans are loyal, and that’s a fact.

6. Monster Squad

The film that proved that not only the wolfman does indeed, have nards, but that also you can blow up a fuckin’ werewolf only for him to piece himself back together comes in at number five. And I feel almost sad about that but damn, 1987 was such a great year where other important films were laid on the table alongside the Squad that it just edges it out.

Monster Squad is like The Goonies on a whole ‘nother level of awesomeness with all the monsters we know from the golden age of horror, coming back and wreaking havoc on a small town with Dracula at the helm looking for his amulet so that he may obtain world domination and then destroy it. And only a small group of horror movie fans that call themselves the Monster Squad, can stop them. Also worth noting that Dracula has NEVER been more terrifying. He grabs a little girl by her chin, lifts her up, and calls her a bitch. That’s some balls I couldn’t even wrap my head around as a 5-year-old watching this; the same age as Phoebe in the film. That sort of fucked me up a little.

It’s pretty much every kid horror fan’s dream to meet a real-life monster and then become the hero to stop them to boot. Much like with The Lost Boys and The Gate, the nostalgic aesthetics of this movie pleases our senses but on a level way higher than the aforementioned. It rocks me until I drop.

5. Predator

Predator is a goddamn glorious spectacle full of the manliest of testosterone and honestly, I’ve always been here for it. The mash-up between a steroid-induced action film and a slasher movie deserves some kind of award- but I guess the best I can do is put it in the top five here of 1987.

With a cast like Carl Weathers, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, and of course Arnold Schwarzenegger, in a hunting match with a technologically advanced lone alien in the jungles of the fictional Central American country of Val Verde, ( the same made-up country used for Arnold’s 1985 action gala Commando) it’s hard to not fuckin’ love everything about this movie. From the “chef’s kiss” one-liners, gory kills, and ARNOLD VS an ALIEN thirty-minute finale, Predator is everything an 80s’ action/horror film should be and more.

Now “GET TO THA’ CHOPPA, MYAHHHHHH!”

4. Creepshow 2

On rare occasion, a sequel is right on par with the original, notwithstanding a shorter version but just as good as the 1982 anthology we all love and adore.

With three stories in the horror anthology that just seems to get better as the film rolls along with a frame story of little Billy on the run from some asshole bullies in animated form, Creepshow 2 is a goddamn good time for everyone of all ages. With a screenplay by George Romero and stories by Stephen King, Creepshow has always seemed to me to be the kind of fun, and silly horror anthology that 10-year-olds would try and smugly rent under their parents’ noses at the local video shop. As a witness to this in my youth with friends who didn’t have quite as cool parents as I did, I always associated the anthology series as a youthful gateway into the horror world. To my surprise, a lot of fans don’t seem to like this installment in comparison with the original. My answer to that is simply putting it at number 4 and offering them a one-way ticket to Lake Sludge.

3. Evil Dead 2

And sometimes when a sequel is on par with the original, then there are others that even surpass their predecessor. That is mother fuckin’ Evil Dead 2.

Honestly, there’s no evidence to the contrary that Bruce Campbell is the second coming of Christ because who else can we call when the deadites are on the loose? When Ash saws off his own hand while screaming manically, I’ve never felt closer to God. Evil Dead 2 is heavy metal horror on steroids with a low budget and is better, faster, and more gnarly in every single way all while being unapologetic for what the movie actually is. Self-parodying isn’t uncommon in horror franchises, but the fact that Evil Dead 2 did it to the point that it BECAME the franchise and the most beloved, is fucking wild.

Now, swallow this.

2. Hellraiser

Jesus wept only because there was ONE other horror film that could beat out Clive Barker’s masterpiece- Hellraiser.

I can distinctly remember the time when my little brother was 9 and my parents had to pick him up from a sleepover in the middle of the night because he was scared shitless after watching a little horror movie with a friend. Can we all take a guess on what film that was? Mmmhmm. That being said, I had never seen Hellraiser myself so after this debacle, I dived right into it and never looked at a Rubix cube the same way again.

Hellraiser is beautifully chaotic in its energy to terrify and turn your stomach acid upside-down-or if you prefer, inside-out. Doug Bradley, in his very minimal screen-time, managed to make a monster of an icon out of Pinhead and has become the Robert Englund of his own character; as in, there’s just no replacing the guy. Yes, I’m well aware of the upcoming reboot with the casting of a female; which in actuality, is a lot closer to the literary version of the descriptions of the cenobites not having a binary gender identity. In fact, Pinhead is described as having a feminine-sounding voice, but I don’t care about any of that. Give me Doug, or give me death.

Yep. This is my hell.

1. A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors

Yep, I have crowned a sequel to be the Horror Champ of 1987. Wes Craven’s ANOES gave birth to one of the greatest horror icons and franchises to come out of the 20th century, and Dream Warriors is like The Godfather II to that film; continuing directly from the source at the same steady beat while expanding it much deeper than one could ever dream of, ironically. As an advocate for mental illness, Nightmare 3 is a film I hold near and dear to me; and one I can dissect and pick apart for hours with all the metaphors I’ve found in the film regarding the subject.

The film has a great story, memorable kills, and really was the birthing point of when Freddy really came into his own as a sadistic villain, that somehow you loved?! That’s some genius shit right there. Sort of how Vince Gilligan shaped Walter White in Breaking Bad, no matter how malevolent he made the character, the audiences embraced him even more. Not to mention, it coincides with the time Freddy Mania really got momentum and brought the horror phenom to the mainstream, enticing the youth of our generation to indulge in our curiosities of the horror genre. When a film and a goddamn sequel for that matter can make that kind of impact, it has to be acknowledged and respected.

Bless the Prime Time, Bitch.

Obligatory Honorary Non-Horror Mention

Robocop

Listen, I can’t even talk about films of 1987 without at the very least, giving a shout-out to part man-part machine, Robocop.

While the film itself isn’t horror per se, Robocop harbors some elemental terror in the fact that man is playing GOD over another man’s life and death. Even though the cops of Detroit signed a waiver with OCP gaining them access to their remains in the event of a tragedy, selling your soul to big corp while giving them too much power is just as relevant as is today in this terrifying age that we all live in where the monopoly of greedy corporations take away the average joes’ livelihoods all for the sake of a buck and some extra power. Pretty sick and twisted metaphors inside a badass movie that I’ve seen about 200 times and never get sick of it.

Also, seeing this guy melt as a kid and then explode into a pool of sludge was definitely one of the scariest fuckin’ things I’ve ever seen. Don’t you deny it.

So let’s make like Clarence Boddicker, sniff some wine off our fingers, and raise our glasses to a wonderful year of terror- 1987.

Editorials

The Alien Franchise: Horror’s Ultimate Tribute To Motherhood

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When it comes to the horror genre and motherhood, there’s no short supply of films that touch, or wrap an entire plot around the subject. From the age-old days of horror with films like Psycho to modern movies like A Quiet Place and mother!, the eternal bond between mother and child is ripe for storytelling in a twisted way for the genre. However, no movie, and as a matter of fact, the entire franchise has executed the theme of motherly love in such a beautiful and fearful way quite as the Alien films.

And I’m here to celebrate Ripley, Queen Alien mama, and that bastard hybrid-Alien child from Alien: Resurrection in all its glory.

ALIEN

From the beginning of the franchise, the theme of motherhood and birthing life into existence came as a punch to the face, or through an abdomen, if you want to get technical, with the thought of just how messy life can start from the get-go via one of the most infamous horror scenes of all time. As someone who went through giving birth twice, I can relate to those screams godammit; also, eh, yeah it’s pretty bloody and messy. It’s the most badass, metal thing a woman can endure, and our boy John Hurt got a taste of it on board the Nostromo with the systems operated by fittingly named, MU-TH-UR 6000- or just simply “Mother.”

Oddly enough in the 1979 film, the birth of life and what a woman goes through is shown through men rather than women; which, all things considered, one could perceive as truly groundbreaking. Sure Ripley touches on her own motherhood background and is a FurMom to Jonesy, but the ugly parts of the process are shown through Kane and Ash.

YES, ASH. This guy right here who bleeds milk and not blood. Sort of ironically beautiful don’t you agree?

To me, and many others whom I’ve discussed with this before, Ash represents that ugly Postpartum Depression no one ever likes to acknowledge exists for mothers. In the film, Ash is chaos with confusion and rage wanting to be in control. PPD is a beast in its own right and can only be tamed with a swift kick from loved ones. In Alien‘s case, Ripley is the one who kicks it in the face, and rightfully so as the heroine of the films’.

ALIENS

Ahh, Aliens. The sequel that many fans not only deem superior but mostly associate with via said theme; in which case, makes my job here fairly simple.

Ripley’s motherly bond with little Newt is undeniable in the wake of the loss of their own via the news that Ripley’s own daughter has passed on Earth and Newt now being the sole survivor of the alien attack on the colony. They both lost all they knew and just kind of gravitated toward that parental/child bond in both survival and therapeutic move; because mentally speaking, do what you got to do to keep your head on straight. So Ellen spends the entire film protecting Newt at all costs, but she’s not the only one protecting her baby.

The Queen Mother Alien is busy laying her own eggs all over the place, and while the little “buggers” hatch, Ripley and the rest of the crew are taking them down. Which, in turn, really pisses this Mama Bear off, and I can’t even be mad about that. In the same sense, Mama Alien also goes into rage mode trying to protect her babies, same as Ripley. While some the Queen as the villain here, she is cut from the slice of bread here as Ripley. Different species, same attitude. Don’t fuck with Mama Bear.

ALIEN 3

That’s right Ripley. You get what you asked for.

In Alien 3, Ripley finds herself alone again with everyone she knows dead, including little Newt. Well, not so alone actually as we come to find out that in Aliens, the enraged Mama Queen gave Ellen a parting shot by laying one last egg on the ship they escaped on to ensure her race would live on despite Ripley’s best efforts. With Ripley serving as the new host and Surrogate mother for the Queen’s baby, those motherly instincts go right out the window and we now head into the theme of abortion, which hey, is also a part of the whole parenting discussion.

What a savage move, eh?

However, the baby alien growing inside her does give her an advantage, as the Xenomorph which is loose on the prison planet can sense the Queen embryo; in which case, doesn’t want to kill or harm Ripley in any way. Kind of like, you can be pissed off at your family, but blood is thicker than water and you never resort to blows, seeing as how Ripley and the Aliens are somewhat related now.

In any regard, Ripley succeeds in aborting the pregnancy and the alien race future by killing herself, or so she thinks. Alas, not before both she is cloned making way for ALIEN: RESSURECTION.

ALIEN: RESSURECTION

It took 200 years after the events of Alien 3, but curious scientific bastards have finally done it. A xenomorph specimen has been successfully reanimated thanks to Ripley’s DNA samples while still having that Queen embryo inside her before her own suicide. However, in lieu of Ripley, we now have CLONE 8, who as an alien/human hybrid, is very enduring to her fellow alien relations in a way that only a mother would understand. As the saying goes, “a face only a mother could love”, Clone 8 makes that the understatement of the century with her own Alien/human relative. The Queen Alien clone taken from Ripley’s body surprisingly has a human reproductive system rather than laying eggs. Now the alien race can finally endure what a human feels while giving birth.

What a gift to give your child.

And what can be given, can also be taken away as Clone 8 has to come to a terrible decision regarding her own baby as it poses a serious threat to humanity. The hybrid alien that was birthed via the Queen clone, rejected its Queen mother in favor of Clone 8. While Clone 8 has some emotional feelings towards the creature, who I honestly think is sort of adorable albeit vicious, she uses this to her advantage by using the creature’s trust to lure it into a death trap in an effort to save humanity.

Motherhood isn’t all sunshine and rainbows folks. It comes with serious emotional baggage and tough, sometimes impossible decisions. Although I would HOPE offing your child isn’t one of them- leave that one exception to little hybrid mongoloid here. Ok and maybe, Henry from The Good Son. Seriously, fuck that kid.

PROMETHEUS

Prometheus does a fine job of exploring the creation of life in a much broader way than even its predecessors. Serving as a prequel to all the Alien films, witnessing the evolution and understanding of the birth of both humanity, and of this strange alien race is a wild ride, much like motherhood itself. Instead of Ripley, we have Elizabeth Shaw, who has a strong religious faith and can bear no children. Again, focusing on another topic concerning motherhood that is brought to the forefront of the franchise: Infertility. With that in mind, some women find this problem frustrating and a toll on their own mental health and self-worth as a human. As Shaw clearly states in the film, “I can’t create life, what does that say about me?” Good to know that in the future this narrative of a woman is useless if she’s infertile, is still a goddamn thing.

Welp. Let’s just fix both those problems with an alien implant, shall we?

Prometheus tackles every single theme about motherhood within the Alien franchise and takes it full throttle even throwing in the modern, and now wildly used form of giving birth, c-section to boot. Gross. But cool, nonetheless.

Alien: Covenant

With the final entry that is Alien Covenant, we come full circle back to the roots of the franchise with gender switching roles of giving birth, and David the android taking Ash’s PPD into full swing Post Partum Psychosis as he nurtures this race into a healthy existence at the expense of the human race. Even MU-TH-UR 6000 makes an appearance, bringing the franchise together in a twisted circle of life metaphor.

As a mother of two, I can wholeheartedly relate to every single motherhood angle the Alien films have thrown at us. Motherhood isn’t always easy, and the movies do a great job of hammering that aspect home. I’ve given birth naturally, through cesarean, spent a year struggling with PPD, and went through the trauma of abortion to boot. While I’m no expert, I can certainly feel all the emotions throughout the series; which I hold very dear to me. And it goes without saying, the Alien movies have done an even better job of being inclusive, making ALL mothers feel heard and seen. Whether you’re a parent struggling, infertile, a step or adoptive parent, surrogate, or hell, living the white picket fence family dream, (seriously who are you) then you can probably relate as well to the roller coaster of emotional and beautiful chaos that is motherhood.

A tip of the hat to all you Queens out there. No matter where you stand, you all deserve to be recognized.

Cool shit to buy

“The Shining” Ax, “Jaws” Prop Fin, and More Up For Auction to Collectors!

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Horror movie memorabilia and the horror fandom go hand in hand in a beautiful unholy matrimony of genre devotion; and now a couple of super lucky, and assumingly rich, fans get to own some of horror flick’s most coveted props.

I’m already insanely jealous.

The prop ax that Jack Nicholson used on-screen in the film is now available on the auction website Gotta Have Rock and Roll. The prop comes with “a 25 x 2.5 x 40.5 shadow box frame with photos from the film” for display and multiple documents that certify authenticity. At the time of writing this little diddy, a little less than a week remains on the auction, with the current bid standing at $60,000 with only three bidders waging war like Jack smashing down a door.

More attainable however financially speaking for us peasants, is a really cool JAWS prop fin. It’s described as in “very good condition” and of course also comes with a certificate of authenticity. Even better, there NO BIDS on this as of currently, which is wild to me as the minimum bid is only $1,000. Considering everything, that’s not a bad deal.

Anyways, if you have some money to blow, I wouldn’t be mad if you used it on this my nostalgic nuggets. Happy auctioning!