All posts by Patti PaulterGeist

Owner, operator, and fuzzy retro feelers giver at NightmareNostalgia.com. Worshipper of our Lord and savior Boo Berry, Patti is a seasoned pro having written for the top horror websites and magazines over the past few years until she decided to go balls to the wall and make her own focusing on pure feel-good nostalgia. Mom to two humans and three furballs.
Editorials

We Almost Got An Extremely Violent and Gory R-Rated “Gremlins” Movie

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Unfathomable to believe that GREMLINS hits their 40th anniversary this year, and with that comes four decades of dedicated loyalty to either Gizmo or the rebellious Stripe, (you like one better than the other, admit it). Stripe, technically an offspring of Gizmo, is that punk rock kid that blows his nose on your family room curtains, eats the last of the fried chicken in the fridge, and breaks into the candy store to steal all the yum yums.

Also, I’ve heard he’s an award-winning cannonballer.

Then there’s the loveable Gizmo. Everyone’s favorite cute and cuddly bringer of the apocalypse, even though he doesn’t mean any of it. He’s so damn adorable and friendly, Billy’s dad Rand Peltzer premonition of the Mogwai possibly replacing doggies and man’s best friend could have been a foreseeable outcome. If only it wasn’t for Gizzy’s one little flaw-his ability to mass produce an army of homicidal, albeit humorous, clones that aren’t as friendly as him.

Ahh, well. No one is perfect.

However, Gizmo wasn’t always slated to be America’s furball sweetheart of the 80s. In fact, the original script of GREMLINS wrote him in as the ultimate villain!

In Chris Columbus’ first draft of GREMLINS, Gizmo (who is just referred as Mogwai in the script) is basically what we see in the final product as Stripe, only WAY WORSE. There is no relationship between him and Billy- although Billy DID receive him as a Christmas gift in pretty much the same as the final draft. Instead, the nameless Mogwai has water spilled on him, in the same manner we see in the film by Pete (played by Corey Feldman in the movie), and out pops a couple of little hellraisers. who all hail to King Gizmo, I mean, Mogwai, and they proceed to EAT BARNEY. Yep. You heard that right. They eat Billy’s best friend instead of a hefty plate of leftover fried chicken.

THOSE BASTARDS.

Poor Barney isn’t the first to fall victim to the Gremsters in this original script, but rather, half the goddamn town of Kingston Falls gets murdered! Pete goes Christmas caroling and gets eaten alive by a hoard of gremlins. The sheriff gets a more brutal hands-on send-off, and Billy and friends come upon a McDonald’s where everyone inside the restaurant is dead with half-eaten Big Macs hanging out of their mouths.

I personally would have loved to see that.

Worth noting, the early script version here DID have the Gremlin hoard in the theater head banging to SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES and they kept that throughout the entire screenplay process where it finally landed in the movie. Some things are just too good to ever throw in the script edits trash can.

Then, there’s Billy’s dear mother, Lynn Peltzer. Stories were going around for quite some time, and in a few articles making the rounds, Lynn had her head cut off by Gizmo and his band of merry maniacs. As far as I know, other than in hearsay or in commentaries, there is no mention of this in the script available on the Internet. In fact, it’s the second draft -not the first, which I will link all of you to at the bottom of this piece so you can read it for yourselves- and people are spreading this as fact. Well, the facts are in black and white here and state: that Lynn was lured to the attic, attacked by the creatures, and killed. That’s for certain. But no decapitation occurred here.

Now, of course, Stephen Spielberg swoops in and convinces everyone GREMLINS would work better at a PG level; so that’s what we got. I’m not mad about it. Hell, GREMLINS is in my top ten movies of all time. Yet still, I also wouldn’t be mad if this film were to EVER get the proper horror movie monster treatment. Can you imagine a homicidal Gizmo? I think they should take a crack at it.

You can read the entire Chris Columbus draft by clicking here, and I highly recommend doing so.

In the meantime, let’s grab some freshly squeezed orange juice from the Peltzer Juicer, and let me oblige you with my personal favorite scene from GREMLINS. While the throwing of Mrs. Deagle through her own window is as close to a second as they come, the snow plow home invasion with Murray and his wife makes me laugh my goddamn ass off. I mean, and that maniacal laugh from Mr. Plow Gremlin? He clearly loves his job! Give that man a raise! Comment below with your favorite scene in GREMLINS and let’s celebrate 40 years of people getting murdered by little hysterical creatures while we enjoyed every damn second of it as kids- and even more as adults.

Retro Reviews

Top That! Teen Witch: The Perfect 80s Film For Young Curious Witches

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TOP THAT! TEEN WITCH: THE PERFECT FILM FOR YOUNG CURIOUS WITCHES

Teen Witch is one of those movies from my childhood that no matter what I’m doing or how many times I’ve seen it, if it’s on the TV-you best believe I’m throwing my hair in a halfway side ponytail, grabbing my crystals and watching the shit out of it.

Growing up, my inner-self bonded with this film not so because it was a cheesy tween/teen flick with a catchy witch premise, (and some even catchier tunes). But because I deeply resonated with the craft before I even fully understood it or knew what the hell I was even feeling. And even further, identified with the character Louise, played by actress Robyn Lively (older sister of Blake Lively) Understandably, I was a child and living in a very Roman-Catholic Italian household that I didn’t really connect spiritually with. Even worse, was my birth mother’s sudden devotion to strict Christianity after a long stay away at a rehab center. Of which, was not only very much pushed on me no matter how I felt about it, but that it was expected me to follow this suit. Long story short, I was a pretty large disappointment to her in that aspect. I always felt uncomfortable. Out of place. The black sheep concerning religion in my home. I loathed it and felt like an awkward cow every time I had to go to church, or even simply say a prayer at dinner.

Yes. I’m an out and proud Witch. And I can proudly claim that title as, like our sisters before us, have dealt with many painstaking trials and tribulations that truly tests your strength in the human existence; along with sharing knowledge and helping those along the way to those who legitimately seek it. It’s like a rite of passage for us and all apart of the journey. Up until a few years ago, I was living in the “Broom Closet” for fear of not only my very catholic family giving me all the grief-especially my father who expressed to me during my young teens when he found my Wiccan books hidden away in my room, lose his ever-loving mind on me and proceeded to trash my materials; forbidding them in his home. Of course, this had upset me to no end. And for it to happen AGAIN in my early twenties with an angry, and physically/mentally abusive ex with him burning everything related to the craft, it seemed I was being punished for trying to be myself; and nothing more.

Pretty shitty feeling.

Tragedy teen witch cellularpottsmodel GIF - Find on GIFER

Anyways, it wasn’t until I fully felt safe in my life to blossom into the person I am today- strong and unapologetically ME. Gotta say it’s a breath of fresh air whereas prior, felt like strangulation. And ultimately, that’s what Teen Witch is all about. BEING HAPPY BEING YOURSELF. No matter what anyone thinks or says. And with witchcraft, the Pagan way, and everything connected to it becoming such a hot trend these days, I feel like this film which I just adore, is perfect for those young curious girls looking to connect with a relatable character in the pop culture film sense.

Teen Witch may have turned out to be a MASSIVE flop theatrically (grossing a whopping $3,875 opening weekend), but that didn’t stop it from becoming a cult classic. Originally written as a follow-up to 1985’s Teen Wolf, I personally caught my first viewing of the film on the Disney channel’s prime time line-up. And it’s since become one of my favorite childhood pieces to vomit all the nostalgic fuzzies all over the place.

The story centers around Louise Miller, an underwhelming teenager with about as much self-esteem and fashion sense as well, the rest of us at that age. Unless you were a Randa- in which case GTFO. I kid, I kid. But seriously, we all felt awkward at some point in the game.

Poor Louise can’t seem to catch a break either from her walking calamity social status, her snotty as hell little brother Ritchie (played by Joshua John Miller-son of The Exorcist‘s Jason Miller), or the fact the dreamy Brad Powell doesn’t even know she’s alive. That is until after one particularly embarrassing day, she stumbles upon a psychic shop where she meets Madame Serena (Zelda Rubenstein) and Louise discovers her destiny-that she comes from a powerful bloodline of witches’, and her powers will come to her on her sixteenth birthday-which is coincidentally right around the corner. And sure enough, strange things begin to happen within the power of her words, granting her the ability to pretty much, have whatever she wants. And of course, being sixteen, what do we all want- to be popular!

And so it is…

The teen musical drama that many shrug off to the side as a campy 80s’ flick, truly is in many ways outlining a witch’s transition into one’s higher self. It most certainly can be in uniform with ascending into puberty-like in the film, and comes with many challenges of self-doubt, ego-trips, and heartache. As stated above, all witches face or will face persecution, whether emotionally tasking or physical, like our ancestors before us. And they are not pleasant. More softly, this is all relayed in the plot of Teen Witch, intentional or not, yes I admit I might be looking into it too deeply but bear with me.

The Power Is In The Word

This phrase is stated often in the film, and realistically from a true witch’s POV, there never has been a truer statement. Words hold so much power over us, that if we repeat them enough, negative or positive, they soon become our reality. The golden rule of “be careful what you say”, is one that should be held of the highest regard in the craft. Not to say you can wish someone into disappearance like Louise did with Randa’s creepy cousin, but if you keep telling yourself you’re beautiful often enough, you soon believe it; and the same goes for negative self-talk that sends you into a spiral of despair and ugliness. Words are the root of manifesting our lives, and if you believe what you speak, they hold a lot of power.

The Power of Your Soul Is Even Greater

Even when Louise thinks she finds happiness in her words, in her heart she of course isn’t and second-guesses everything. The man of her dreams, Brad has taken a serious interest in her. But is it because of her popularity spell? Or does he truly like her for who she is? Well, in true 80s’ “moral of the story” fashion being true to yourself is the most powerful spell of all. After Madame Serena reveals to Louise of her magikal heritage, she soon inherits an amulet that has been connected to her via past lifetimes and has found its way back to her. Serena states that the necklace is the source of power.

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Now while tools and stones are often quite helpful in manifesting our thoughts and desires, they are not the source of the power- as that always and forever resides in you. Louise, without being told so but with an instinct in her own gut, came to this conclusion in her finest hour as well in that oh-so-happy and musical ending. Which leads me to the point, that being yourself and owning the shit out of it, is the greatest power you can possess.

Oh, and spoilers…

Brad still dug her.

Now if you can get past some of those sort of out of place, cringey dance scenes (I’m looking at you, We Like Boys) and embrace the internal message of the craft for a baby witch, then it’s a film that will be enjoyed well into your crone years. Speaking of musical numbers though and aside from everything else, as random as it is in the film, seeing Polly have her moment with her crush is one of the most goddamn satisfying things ever in a movie.

Nope. Can’t top that.

Buy the movie here!

Horror Nostalgia

The Most Messed Up “Unsolved Mysteries” Episode That Scarred Me For Life

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January 20, 1987- a day that lives in infamy with true crime aficionados all over the country, with the arrival of that haunting theme music and Robert Stack inviting us to join him in solving some of America’s wildest unsolved mysteries.

As a young kid, I spent a lot of time being babysitted by my grandparents, who were balls deep into this show and would pretty much force me to watch it every Tuesday night with them. I mean, it was either that or hiding in the pantry eating saltines with ketchup, (they were never that great at having any kid-friendly snacks around). So yeah, I opted in for that nightmare fuel that traumatized the shit out of plenty of us 80s kids. To be clear, I was no stranger to horror in my home. Hell, I was watching JAWS and HALLOWEEN in diapers. But Unsolved Mysteries was no fantasy or the option to tell your brain that it isn’t real. It was the real-life Boogeyman that awaited you when you shut off the light and laid your head on a pillow for a very restless night’s sleep. Usually accompanied by that fan-fucking-tactic theme music spinning around in your head like a hamster wheel.

Tuesday nights were never the same, folks.

Anyway, I can certainly rattle off a few episodes that induced a couple of sleepless nights. Segments like the La Posada Hotel, The Black Hope Horror, the abduction of Angela Hammond are all top contenders for me personally. However, Season 2, Episode 3 of Unsolved Mysteries is one that to this day, still fills me with dread and anger and one that I can’t ever rewatch because it’ll make a cry like a baby.

That segment I’m referring to is the Mabel Woods Kennel fire of 1987.

As an avid UM lover, I think about this case all the time, and it fills me with a sense of rage that I cannot convey with words. But I suppose I’ll try.

Sixty-eight-year-old Mabel Wood loved animals. So much so, she been started a sanctuary for stray dogs in southern Missouri and ran it for fifteen successful years. In 1985, she moved to a 110-acre farm in Bonne Terre where she poured her life savings into a $60,000 kennel to house the 115 dogs she was caring for. They were offered for adoption, but those who didn’t find new homes, just lived with Mabel on the sanctuary.

How sweet is that?! As a fellow animal lover, that’s the dream for me. They would have to cuddle and watch A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 with me at least twice a month.

The farm was in an isolated location with her closest neighbors a mile away, so pretty ideal as that would ensure a low disturbance complaint. However, after 18 months of peace and harmony on the farm , on December 11, 1986, that wonderful existence turned to tragedy. Someone had broke into the kennel and shot at some of the dogs, killing two and injuring two. When she discovered them the next day, she rushed the most seriously injured ones to the vet, and they were saved. The police investigated, but at the time, there was a low priority on animal cruelty because the crime was only considered a misdemeanor. Which I to this day disagree with heavily as the murder of innocent animals should be goddamn high on the “let’s find this cocksucker and string him up by his toes” list.


After the shooting, Mabel hired an assistant named Charlie Jacobs to help her and to mostly keep a lookout. Two months later, what we could assume were the previous assailants returned with a vengeance, and what transpired next is nothing short of everything worse than any horror movie you could ever put in front of me.

On the night of February 10, 1987, they burned down the kennel with sixty beautiful dogs trapped inside. It was reported that the blaze was so intense that smoke alarms were set off in homes a mile away. It completely destroyed the kennel, the lives of 60 dogs, along with many hearts that watched this story- including mine.

According to Mabel and the investigation goes, there was no reason for the fire to start accidentally. The kennel was up to code and still brand new. It was noted that the burning came from the inside, not the outside. Mabel also stated that she was certain that it was arson because the dogs were “blazing” as if an accelerant had been put on them.

Just writing that makes my stomach turn with my own fiery rage and disgust.

Days after the murder of these animals, the investigators cleaned off the kennel floor and noticed a “spalding” pattern which occurs when a flammable substance is ignited on concrete, giving credence to Mabel’s theory. Authorities mapped out their own theory and string of events as it transpired: They believe that on the night of the fire, the assailants entered through the doors that separated the two parts of the kennel. They then poured gasoline on the dogs, walls, and floors. They then went back out the doors and lit the fire. Once it was determined that arson had caused the fire, police officials joined the investigation. One hundred yards away from the kennel, a single tire track was found in the mud as their only clue.

And to this day, the case has never been solved. To add insult to injury, poor Mabel and her lovely dogs were targeted once again in 1994 with one shot, one beaten, and another gone missing (never recovered). Mabel Woods was a hero to animals and despite the brutal harassment, kept the sanctuary going for as long as she was able. Miss Mabel passed away on July 4, 2012, at the age of 91 with no justice for her or her rescued puppers.

Massive credit to the folks at Unsolved Mysteries for at least bringing this case to the public eye on a nationwide scale. The show itself has been a life boat for investigators trying to solve crimes with the public’s help. It’s just a shame that one of the saddest stories ever seen on this show, remains unsolved. My mind and heart also remains scarred on the visuals alone of what was described during the crime, and it’s VERY unnerving that, perhaps, these people who did this are still walking around unscathed among society.

If you’d like to actually watch the episode, here’s the video but I warn you, it will fuck you up and want to go on a murderous rampage of your own. And as always, in a long shot but have to do my due diligence here, anyone with any tips on this case, can send them to Unsolved.com or reach out to Bonne Terre authorities in Missouri.