Tag Archives: vhs horror

Cutting Room Gore, Girl Empowerment, and Hodder: ‘Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood’

In 1988, slasher franchises were doing much of the genre’s heavy lifting. Freddy, Michael, Pinhead, and even Tarman all had their hand in the melting pot of the horror genre that year, and it was a goddamn glorious time to be alive and a horror fan. With the exception of 1983 and 1987, the Friday the 13th series had been a consistent force throughout the decade, releasing one film a year solidifying Jason as a top contender for King Slasher in the 80s; and with Jason Lives grossing $19 million off a $3 million budget in 1986, another sequel was bound to happen even with a neat and tidy closure to Voorhees leaving the franchises’ hero Tommy Jarvis victorious. Although the numbers were impressive enough to put them in the green, Crystal Lake still wasn’t doing Elm Street numbers as in 1987, The Dream Warriors raked in 44.8 million on a budget of over $4 million. So an idea was hatched to pin Freddy against our favorite mama’s boy in the spirit of classic monster-mash ups. Studio rights among other bullshit would prevent us from seeing the two square off until 2003 so instead of waiting around, let’s throw Carrie Jr into the ring with Jason and see what results from it!

Filmed under the mystery title Birthday Bash, around Bay Minette, Alabama, Troll director John Carl Buechler took the seat to helm Friday Part 7 which takes a vastly different approach to the franchise than the films before it.

The New Blood follows Tina Shepard (Lar Park Lincoln) who at a tender young age accidentally kills her drunk and abusive father after a nasty fight with her mother using her then uncontrolled telekinetic powers by drowning him in, you guessed it, Crystal Lake. Years later, Tina’s powers which also include Pyrokinesis remain uncontrolled as the trauma over what happened as a child has only fueled, for lack of a better term, fire of her own abilities. Enter Bernie, I mean Terry Kiser as a dick psychologist, “bad news Crews”, who on the surface claims to want to help her, but really wants to put her trauma into crisis mode, so he can document her supernatural powers. How does he do that? Well, by taking her back to Crystal Lake, of course… where it all started.

And in doing so, Tina, whose guilt is immense at this point, unknowingly resurrects Jason who is still chained at the bottom of the same lake where her father met his demise.

Bad idea, Bernie.

The New Blood is so unique among its sister films for so many reasons. Friday movies usually follow the same simple formula where sex equals death, and beyond Tommy Jarvis, we never really get much of a backstory with our hero. This installment breaks the mold by not only giving us that narrative with Tina but takes us along for one hell of a chaotic journey navigating through her trauma. Part VII has a pretty deep social commentary running throughout touching on abuse and aforementioned PTSD. Tina is not only fighting Jason but everyone else around her; especially Dr. Crews (Kiser) who is just gaslighting the hell out of this poor girl. Bad News Crews, to me personally, is an even bigger monster than Jason himself. This piece of shit drags Tina and her loving mother out to the lake, forcing the traumatized teen to do things beyond her will to ignite her powers, all the while threatening to commit her. At the heart of it, this actually does Tina some good as she herself, towards the end, has a better grasp on her abilities which definitely come in handy with a foe like Jason. The abuse and unethical behavior from her doctor might have pushed her over into a forced confrontation within herself and her gifts.

Tina, even in her mental state of grief, confusion, and anger, can see right through that fucker. Although Tina wrestles with her emotions quite a bit, which results in a few things flying at people’s faces (rightfully deserved mind you), Tina holds her ground as one of the more level-headed people in this film ironically. In so many of these slasher films of the decade, we the viewers watching the heroine or final girl don’t get the option to navigate these complex emotions and trauma along with her. Tommy Jarvis had three movies in the series dedicated to him and his mental state, whereas before it was just a simple premise of slash, dash, and there’s a random final girl they’ve chosen out of the bunch. Jason Lives character of Megan (played by Jennifer Cooke) helped pave the way for Tina, but Tina delivered on all fronts in a way that hadn’t been seen since Nancy in A Nightmare on Elm Street. We got mad with Tina. We felt happy with Tina. And we goddamn rooted for Tina all the way.

Now that’s some true Final Girl Power. Rest in peace to one of the BEST horror heroines.

Then, there’s Kane Hodder who is among a fan-favorite in the Friday films as Jason Voorhees. With The New Blood being Kane’s first take on Jason in the films, he made a grand enough impression for him to come back for Manhattan, Jason Goes To Hell and Jason X. Although he isn’t my personal favorite, (I know, le gasp) credit where it’s due as he certainly gave Voorhees a more personable approach with those deep, discerning breaths that spoke for him alone. I hadn’t seen that prior in any Friday films and this was a whole new Jason, folks. His walk was stern yet graceful like a demented zombie ballerina as you could actually feel the anger and rage with each step. When Jason is actually unmasked, the expressions Kane lent to the Crystal Lake killer are something we really have never seen before, either. In previous entries like III and IV, we had an almost stiff and expressionless face. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking that makeup, but Jason has way more depth here that would continue to the sewers of Manhattan where you could see the pain and fear in this monster’s face. That I applaud both Hodder and John Carl Buechler for, as it’s true movie monster art at its finest.

Kane also had the pleasure of dishing out some of the franchises’ most fucked up and brutal death scenes. Unfortunately, most of those scenes need up on the cutting room floor because at the time, the MMPA were absolute pricks about blood in films. And with Buechler, oh boy, there was a lot. Remember the amazing sleeping bag scene where Jason repeatedly beats the horny girl against a tree until bursts of blood visibly stains the bag itself? Or, how about when Dr. Crews is disemboweled? No? Well, those moments sadly only remain to be seen as grainy footage that never made it into the theatrical cut thanks to the Karens’ of the movie business who really hate slasher films, apparently. It wasn’t even the first time the censorial body bitches took aim at the Friday films as the first sequel, Part II was cut to shreds as well. Although, duly note that Part VII was more impressively gory. Sadly, while the grainy cut of death scenes exist in some form, as you can see below provided by The Friday the 13th Network, it’s not likely enough for a restoration of an uncut version to ever be released.

The New Blood was released 37 years ago on but of course, Friday the 13th, and falls in the middle of the pack of either loved or hated by franchise fans. Personally, I’m a huge fan of this one. I mean, clearly, I just wrote a goddamn essay about it. But perhaps also for nostalgia purposes. This was the first Friday film I had ever seen all the way through. Being born in 1982, I had snippets of the other films via family members, but when I was deemed old enough to make my own video rental choices and this being the newer one, well, there you have it. So let’s let’s pop in the old VHS, listen to Crazy Ralph narrate the opening, and relive that thrill of Carrie Jr beating the crap out of Jason.

Oh, and grab some Slice Cola while you’re at it. Can we just agree this is the greatest food spread in all the films? Just look at that retro KFC box!

VHS GOLD! The RARE Vidmark Leprechaun VHS Retailers Promo!

I found something better than a four-leaf clover here! In the spirit of 30 years of the Leprechaun movies, we as a horror collective, have struck VHS GOLD with the full bonus material from the very rare Leprechaun VHS retailers’ promo from 1993! I’ve personally never seen it until very recently and if you know me, you know this kind of shit is my kryptonite.

Pretty bold of me to put that out there if anyone wants to wear me down, eh?

Uploaded to Youtube by LUNCHMEAT VHS, the retailers’ promo was aimed at getting a buttwad of VHS copies into national chains/mom-and-pop video stores for consumers’ eyes to feast on. The promo pimping out Warwick Davis’ now iconic horror role went hard as fuck making this movie sound like it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

I mean, this Vidmark Lep bendy toy is a great contender for making that argument.

The promo’s narrating salesman was a bit off in his 12-15 million gross box office projection of the 1993 cult classic when the film actually only took home over 8 million, but that’s still a pretty respectable number for a low-budget horror film about a homicidal leprechaun!

The promo also features nationwide publicity stunts that including a couple of smaller fellows dressing up as the Leprechaun character marching in protest at the New York Stock Exchange.

PRICELESS.

Then, there are the highlights of the glorious tie-in promos available to the public because again, I’m a sucker for stuff too where restaurants like Domino’s and Subway got in on the Lucky Lep March Madness. And speaking of March Madness, The NBA had promotional LEPRECHAUN NIGHTS for fans as well as the NHL.

As much as I get a kick out of that, honestly my favorite part was this BOLD statement from “fan reactions”- “Leprechaun makes Freddy Krueger look like Mr. Rodgers!”

I don’t know how homeslice said that with a somewhat straight face but I thoroughly enjoyed that.

Now…

Try as you will, and try as you might, If you don’t watch this retailer promo, you won’t be able to sleep through the night!

Make it the Ultimate Retro Halloween With Here Lies’ HALLOWEEN COMPANION VHS Collection!

At this point, it’s almost become cliché to state the obvious: that Halloween wasn’t what it once was 40, 30, or hell even 10 years ago. The magic and beautiful mayhem of it has been lost by flashy, cheap décor, over-the-top yet underwhelming haunted houses, and what little treats given on Halloween night are simply pathetic compared to the spooky delights of yesteryear. I mean, yeah sure, I’m the Halloween nostalgic Queen and all, so I may be a bit biased, but I’d take the Universal Monster Pepsi Challenge any day of the week with anyone that wants to argue with me.

Just don’t forget the Ranch dip to go with some Cooler Ranch Doritos because you’re going to need the calories to fight me on this one.

Speaking of glorious Halloween commercials, exactly how often do we see them these days? Modern technology of streaming apps and social media has pretty much wiped out any television advertising for both big and small business brands and solely rely on platforms such as TikTok and Instagram and willing “influencers” to do their bidding for them without shelling out the big bucks for any advertisement slots. Shit, the commercials we DO see on streaming services such as HULU, are all ads for big pharma and greasy politicians. It’s such an eyesore to my senses and what I wouldn’t give to just see Captain Lou Albano pimping out a local Pharmacy for their on the spot Halloween deals…

Oh, wait… YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN NOW!

Emmy award-winning producer and nostalgic VHS warlock, Eddie Spuhghetti, has opened the doors to the memories of what once was (so long as you have a VCR anyway). Eddie has curated several series’ of VHS tapes dedicated to the Halloween season that are fully-loaded with 6 hours of commercials from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, Halloween special episodes, one movie, and seasonal bumpers galore. It’s enough to make any retro Halloween maniac to have countless spookgasms during a viewing.

I spent a week watching volume 3 and although you would think most of the placements would be totally random; they most certainly aren’t. Each commercial, bumper, and television special are meticulously placed to keep a flow of what you would naturally see if you were watching television on a crispy 80s October night. Though I don’t want to give too much away as far as what’s exactly on there, because I feel like you should be surprised like I was, I can say it’s a stream of Halloween fuzzies that made me sore from smiling so much. Worth mentioning, the movie I got to see on Volume 3 was custom converted to black and white, and it’s an 80s film. Never did I think this film would look amazing this way, but considering the material, it works- and it works WELL. The only clue I’ll give you is that it’s a 1983 movie and a sequel. That’s actually probably too much of a hint, but it’s devastating to have to keep something like a secret. What I can say, though, in no doubt, is that my absolute favorite thing about the tapes, is the LOCAL bumpers and commercials that are mixed in with mainstream ones. It’s exactly what I would remember watching when I was a kid, with short ads for local pharmacies and costume stores promoting their October specials. Also worth mentioning the movie that’s inserted in each tape, Eddie made custom “We’ll be right back” bumpers to add to the local TV movie feel of it.

It’s just too damn glorious.

Oh, and then there’s this guy. You might see him around from time to time.

Eddie Spuhghetti started creating tapes 12 years ago, and it started with a Halloween companion that was the meal of the hour at Halloween parties. While studying TV Broadcasting, he figured out how to capture and record content to use in course projects, and before he knew what he had, he had created a prototype for what would turn into a series of themed 6 hour-long VHS tapes that range from Halloween, to Summer vibes, to even Christmas ones as well! All without one piece of repeated content!

Interest rose from horror blogger friends, and he made the tapes available through a website and brand he created, HERELIES.COM.

Via Eddie Spuhghetti:

“I made the tapes available for purchase via donating towards my horror project (costs for shipping accessories, the tape media itself, etc…). This evolved into four proper Halloween Companions, one Xmas tape (another one is in the works) and a Summer series that focuses on late night TV during specific time periods. I aim in giving the viewer an experience that entertains but also hits some emotional tones-unlocking some forgotten pleasant memories while bringing new light to things they never knew existed! The tapes also work great for background atmosphere while you work, at parties or live events!”

As someone who watched an entire six hours of footage on one of these, he absolutely hit the nail on the head with what he set out to do.

For the Halloween tapes in particular, each VHS is a flat $15 donation with the exception of the newest addition, Volume 4 which contains 3D parts and comes with 3D glasses which runs at $25; all with a $10 shipping fee. If you own a VCR, and bask in the nostalgia of yesteryear, this is a no-brainer must have companion. Grab your copy of choice HERE at HERELIES.COM!

I also goddamn appreciate the fact that the Halloween 4 intro was placed in my version and remixed with Halloween III synth wave music. You have a fan for life, sir.

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