It’s that time of year when I feel justified in diving deep here on NN into my dork-fest mind, where I can’t help but scour the backgrounds of some of my favorite films to find relics of my childhood hidden within the scenes. With the holidays here, it seems obvious that GREMLINS would be the premium choice as the center stage for scoping some vintage toys seen throughout the Kingston Falls department store. And as we all know, GREMLINS is the goddamn greatest Christmas movie of all time (IMO), so toys, Christmas, and Stripe running around with a chainsaw inside (what is actually a Montgomery Ward) make for perfect timing here.
Being as how most of the scenes filmed in the department store in GREMLINS are pretty dimly lit, this posed as a real challenge and I spent a lot of time pausing, zooming in, and even had to break out my high-powered glasses for to actually make out certain items hidden in the background chase between Billy and Stripe; and I would do it again in a heartbeat! That’s the fun in all this, and I’m happy to the nerdy Lord’s work for the Internets to appease nostalgic nuggets like myself. This is the kind of shit I want to see on my feed, so I can only suspect those who follow me feel the same.
Anyways, enjoy what I found!
80s ET Faux-Leather Doll
So we’re gonna start with the most obvious one here all fans of the movie have seen-The ET doll shown here along with some Looney Tunes plushies from Warner Bros. The green jacket or blouse can throw you off a bit without a keen eye for observation, but this is, in fact, an ET vinyl doll that was mass-produced back in 1982 by KAMAR. Obviously, this ET doll itself was sold without any clothes, so production just threw something on ET to cover his naked ass for filming. Also, it’s a nice Easter egg in the film as in ET, the alien hides among stuffed animals from Elliot’s mom and the scene here has Stripe hiding among plushies as well hiding himself from Billy.
If you’re interested in purchasing a relic from your childhood, there’s a rough-looking one here on eBay for the nostalgic fan.
All the damn walking robots!
If there’s one toy that maintained consistency throughout the 80s, it’s the flashing walking robot. This toy was made by so many different companies and while they all looked a bit similar, there were very distinct differences in various models like missle launching, rolling, walking with their feet, to rotating a full 360 degrees. On the far left here, right before you see Gizmo come crashing through the scene, you’ll see one here that resembles the Magic Mike robot (heyo- not Channing Tatum) that was highly popular during this time made by New Bright. It was also known as Sonic Sam in some areas. I don’t believe THIS one in particular is a Magic Mike, as I could not for the life of me pinpoint the exact model, but it’s pretty damn close!
In this scene where Billy cautiously walks around after getting attacked with a chainsaw, we have a pair of robots anxiously waiting for the second round of Billy Vs Stripe. The red guy in the back has an upper body that rotates a full 360 with blinking lights in its chest which I do believe to be the Rotate-O-Matic Super Astronaut Robot made by Horikawa- who produced dozens of models of these as early as the 1960s! The white one in front looks to be another version of a New Bright model mentioned previously.
The Mad Magazine Board Game!
Behind an army of Odies’ and next to the Survive! game is the long-forgotten board game of the Mad Magazine game made by Parker Brothers that debuted in 1979! The game, in pure MAD fashion, is outright bonkers and basically is played the complete opposite of Monopoly with the person going bankrupt as the winner. The game will also have you doing some off-the-wall shit when you pick up cards that say things like, “If you like this game, cross your legs, sit on your hands, cackle like a chicken and lose 1 egg; also $500” or “If you are good-looking, stand up and imitate your favorite animal, and lose $2000.” It was a pretty fun game back in the day.
Barbie Remote Control Super Vette Car
Midnight Barbie Horse
Barbie Bath Set
In the same scene with the robots, there’s an awful lot of Barbie merchandise hanging around! First up is the 1979 Barbie Remote Control Super Vette Car seen on the far right on the shelves. This was the first remote control car vetted for fans of Barbie!
Next up is Barbie’s Midnight horse that first came to market in 1980 and was part of a long line of horses Barbie apparently owned since 1970. I should also note that the mold here, known as the “Dallas” mold is the same mold used for Rainbow Brite’s horse Starlight in 1983!
Lastly, we have the Barbie Bubble Bath set from 1984 that literally ALL young Barbie fanatics either wanted or had. Throwing Babs around all day in the mud, we needed a way to bathe her properly dammit. And if you had the Dream House, you had to have the bathtub.
Garfield Plushies!
You basically couldn’t go anywhere in the 80s and not come across Garfield merchandise. Whether he was stuck to a car windshield or you had the infamous Garfield rotary telephone, he and his immense appetite for attention was inescapable- and we wouldn’t have had it any other way! Produced by Dakin toys, Garfield plushies were available in just about every department store, even making his way several times to McDonald’s’s as part of a Happy Meal or holiday portion in the form of dolls, action figures, and that one mug everyone had when we were kids at Grandma’s house.
You know the one…
If the next time you pop GREMLINS into your VHS for a rewatch and start scouring Kingston Falls Montgomery Ward for other toys not listed here, I feel like I’ve done my good deed for the day. If you got a kick out of this, check out the vintage toys I spotted in SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT!
Unfathomable to believe that GREMLINS hits their 40th anniversary this year, and with that comes four decades of dedicated loyalty to either Gizmo or the rebellious Stripe, (you like one better than the other, admit it). Stripe, technically an offspring of Gizmo, is that punk rock kid that blows his nose on your family room curtains, eats the last of the fried chicken in the fridge, and breaks into the candy store to steal all the yum yums.
Also, I’ve heard he’s an award-winning cannonballer.
Then there’s the loveable Gizmo. Everyone’s favorite cute and cuddly bringer of the apocalypse, even though he doesn’t mean any of it. He’s so damn adorable and friendly, Billy’s dad Rand Peltzer premonition of the Mogwai possibly replacing doggies and man’s best friend could have been a foreseeable outcome. If only it wasn’t for Gizzy’s one little flaw-his ability to mass produce an army of homicidal, albeit humorous, clones that aren’t as friendly as him.
Ahh, well. No one is perfect.
However, Gizmo wasn’t always slated to be America’s furball sweetheart of the 80s. In fact, the original script of GREMLINS wrote him in as the ultimate villain!
In Chris Columbus’ first draft of GREMLINS, Gizmo (who is just referred as Mogwai in the script) is basically what we see in the final product as Stripe, only WAY WORSE. There is no relationship between him and Billy- although Billy DID receive him as a Christmas gift in pretty much the same as the final draft. Instead, the nameless Mogwai has water spilled on him, in the same manner we see in the film by Pete (played by Corey Feldman in the movie), and out pops a couple of little hellraisers. who all hail to King Gizmo, I mean, Mogwai, and they proceed to EAT BARNEY. Yep. You heard that right. They eat Billy’s best friend instead of a hefty plate of leftover fried chicken.
THOSE BASTARDS.
Poor Barney isn’t the first to fall victim to the Gremsters in this original script, but rather, half the goddamn town of Kingston Falls gets murdered! Pete goes Christmas caroling and gets eaten alive by a hoard of gremlins. The sheriff gets a more brutal hands-on send-off, and Billy and friends come upon a McDonald’s where everyone inside the restaurant is dead with half-eaten Big Macs hanging out of their mouths.
I personally would have loved to see that.
Worth noting, the early script version here DID have the Gremlin hoard in the theater head banging to SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES and they kept that throughout the entire screenplay process where it finally landed in the movie. Some things are just too good to ever throw in the script edits trash can.
Then, there’s Billy’s dear mother, Lynn Peltzer. Stories were going around for quite some time, and in a few articles making the rounds, Lynn had her head cut off by Gizmo and his band of merry maniacs. As far as I know, other than in hearsay or in commentaries, there is no mention of this in the script available on the Internet. In fact, it’s the second draft -not the first, which I will link all of you to at the bottom of this piece so you can read it for yourselves- and people are spreading this as fact. Well, the facts are in black and white here and state: that Lynn was lured to the attic, attacked by the creatures, and killed. That’s for certain. But no decapitation occurred here.
Now, of course, Stephen Spielberg swoops in and convinces everyone GREMLINS would work better at a PG level; so that’s what we got. I’m not mad about it. Hell, GREMLINS is in my top ten movies of all time. Yet still, I also wouldn’t be mad if this film were to EVER get the proper horror movie monster treatment. Can you imagine a homicidal Gizmo? I think they should take a crack at it.
In the meantime, let’s grab some freshly squeezed orange juice from the Peltzer Juicer, and let me oblige you with my personal favorite scene from GREMLINS. While the throwing of Mrs. Deagle through her own window is as close to a second as they come, the snow plow home invasion with Murray and his wife makes me laugh my goddamn ass off. I mean, and that maniacal laugh from Mr. Plow Gremlin? He clearly loves his job! Give that man a raise! Comment below with your favorite scene in GREMLINS and let’s celebrate 40 years of people getting murdered by little hysterical creatures while we enjoyed every damn second of it as kids- and even more as adults.
In the year of our Lord, 1984, Apple launched its very first Macintosh Computer commercial bringing the wave of the future that would soon enter classrooms-Oregon trail anyone? Wendy’s wondered, “Where’s the Beef?” And Michael Jackson traded his lovely locks for a set of singed hairs on the set of the Pepsi commercial. It was a massive time for Pop Culture, consumerism, and the start of international benefit concerts and albums such as Band-Aid. It was the epitome of the Reagan era-who absolutely walloped Walter Mondale in the presidential primary election of that year. 1984 was also the year we were introduced to several legendary horror icons and franchises, Reaganomics not included, that have become some of the most beloved in the genre fan base. From a jacked, unstoppable Arnold, to a hungry green ghost that loves to slime Bill Murray, to Gremlins cannonballing into swimming pools, 1984 blew the genre into an otherworldly realm: THE BLOCKBUSTER. The two aforementioned films opened on the SAME DAY in 1984. Pretty wild to think that GHOSTBUSTERS and GREMLINS opened against each other on June 8th, 1984 to kick off the Summer and both movies ended up being the highest-performing films at the box office of the year. The combined forces brought in over a whopping $400 million domestically in theaters.
Winston said it best, folks.
1984 horror stood out with the blockbuster numbers for sure, but the year also brought some of the BEST in the Christmas horror game; with a total of three making the top 10 cut here, which is rather unusual for any yearly top ten horror list. One of which was banned from theaters due to a bunch of uptight pearl clutches who can’t differentiate a Santa Claus fiction from, well, another Santa Claus fiction. Crazy concept, eh?
Anyway, let’s get down on it, but real quick: It’s not really a movie but a short and I would never forgive myself for not giving it a spot here, so Honorary Best Horror Short Film goes to:
FRANKENWEENIE
In Tim Burton’s first major debut, his short film FRANKENWEENIE puts a spin on Mary Shelley’s FRANKENSTEIN, and we get our first taste of what I call, “The Burton Touch”. His films’ atmosphere is always immediately recognizable to his taste and character, mashing goth, fantasy, and horror all in one beautiful bubble of his very own genre. This neo-gothic French kiss to one of the greatest horror stories of all time is a virgin Tim Burton popping his cherry to the world, and it’s one of his best.
Before we actually get into this personalized top 10, I have to admit I had a HELL of a time placing these to my satisfaction- and even now writing this I’m definitely struggling because, in a perfect world, no one would EVER ask me to choose between, Slimer, Freddy, Stripe, and the goddamn Terminator. The audacity of this shit has been tasking on my mental health, y’all. So go easy on me.
10. THE TOXIC AVENGER
The only toxic relationship I want in my life. Troma’s 1984 triumph of raunchy cheese with a bullied nerd who, by the powers of toxic waste, becomes-THE TOXIC AVENGER! I still can’t believe this schlocky cult film was ever made into a Saturday morning cartoon for kids where, in the movie itself, had the absolute balls to kill a kid- very brutally! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I respect the hell out of a movie that pulls that kind of shit. When I was a kid in the 80s’, we always used the “points” tally for when we would make each other eat shit on our bikes. Beyond the movie itself being extra over-the-top in true TROMA fashion in gratuitous violence and perky mammary glands, Mop Melvin is the only true Avenger that ever mattered for us horror nerds. We salute you and your tutu, Toxie.
9.NIGHT OF THE COMET
The first of the Christmas Horror films, don’t tell me it isn’t because we WILL fight, is NIGHT OF THE COMET starring Catherine Mary Stewart and horror sweetheart Kelli Maroney, (you can check out our interview with her here!) While the world was waiting for Halley’s Comet to arrive in 1986, in comes a mini zombie apocalypse movie thanks to, well, a comet and leaves us with an end-of-mankind film with two totally ass-kicking women leads. We’re presented with two sisters from the Valley who are not ashamed of their sexuality, nor do they allow themselves to be shamed for it. They are capable of survival with or without a man to save them, and it really kicks that Valley Girl stereotype in the balls. Which is refreshingly different. The soundtrack is amazing. The nostalgia is high, looking back into the golden year of 1984. And it’s Kelli Maroney with zombies. What’s really not to love here?
8.FIRESTARTER
Stephen King’s FIRESTARTER is basically him writing a horror version of an X-MEN comic, and being a HUGE fan of X-MEN, I AM HERE FOR IT. Starring a young Drew Barrymore, Keith David, George C. Scott, and Martin Sheen, FIRESTARTER is Charlie, a little girl wanted by the government for her pyrokinesis and telekinetic abilities and is on the run with her father, who also harbors mind control powers- a little like Professor X! While Charlie’s powers are inherited, her parents’ abilities are the result of a government experiment, and now the shitheads at power want that little girl for their own personal weapon.
With a fantastic score by Tangerine Dream and an outstanding performance by a 9-year-old Drew, FIRESTARTER is miles better than the 2022 remake and I like to think the blueprint for STRANGER THINGS‘ Eleven. It’s not everyone’s favorite King adaptation, I’ve learned over the years, but it’s hard not to enjoy a film that features a little Drew Barrymore in pink bunny slippers telling Martin Sheen to go to hell. Yeah, she can start fires with her mind, but that is almost just as entertaining.
7. CHILDREN OF THE CORN
Ahh. 1984- the year when we attacked Linda Hamilton. Hear me outlanders, another Stephen King adaptation CHILDREN OF THE CORN had us never looking at corn fields the same way ever again. When the children of Gaitlin kill every adult in town on one fine Sunday morning at the will of creepy kid Issac and “he who walks behind the rows”, the premise of creepy kids in horror movies is thrown up a few notches and remains at the tippy-top of the killer-kid genre in the horror field. Enter Linda Hamilton and Peter Horton coming across this ghost town in the middle of cornfield nowhere full of homicidal kids and we got ourselves a good goddamn movie.
Also, one of the greatest PSAs’ for birth control I’ve ever seen.
6. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER
After a year of absence from Jason Voorhees in 1983, FRIDAY THE 13TH attempted to bring the legacy of Jason home with THE FINAL CHAPTER and a definitive ending to our Crystal Lake killer- but we all know that hella didn’t happen. However, IF, this was actually the end of Jason, I felt it would have been a pretty proper send-off. This movie is a goddamn SLASHERTERPIECE. It has every box checked for everything you could want in a 80s slasher film: Corey Feldman. Naked twins. A pervert called Teddy Bear. A banana-eating hitchhiker. And a cool dog that LIVES toward the end of the movie. Also, with a great cast to boot-probably the best cast of all the Friday films, we are gifted with the national treasure of Crispin Glover and a dance that, to this day, no one has ever forgotten.
5. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT
Our second Christmas horror film of the list-SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT is a personal favorite of mine and one horror flick where no one ever saw a franchise forming but here the fuck we are. And thank fucks because SNDN 5: THE TOYMAKER is a horrible guilty pleasure of mine. The karens’ of 1984 managed to get this holiday horror movie, that consists of a homicidal maniac dressed as Santa that murders a (shocker) naked Linnea Quigley by mounted deer antlers through the tatas, banned from theaters after only a week of it being released. Jokes on you, pearl clutches. That just piqued our interest all the more and we raise our disgusting eggnog to Billy- one of the most unhinged antagonists of a horror movie of all time that we also all collectively feel devastated and sorry for. That’s one hell of a combo and never easy to pull off. Plus, I love pausing the flick and looking around at all the vintage toys in IRA’s… it’s just an added bonus.
Before we go any further, I literally had a panic attack trying to rank the final four films because I love them all almost equally. So, basically what it came down to was longevity, the legacy, and a tad of a personal opinion.
4. The Terminator
Sticking THE TERMINATOR at number 4 hurts my goddamn soul, but hey, these decisions are never taken lightly. Also, I’m sure some would argue that TERMINATOR is NOT a horror movie, and while I tend to agree mostly with that, the premise of an unstoppable force hunting you down and the mass genocide of a human race by machines is enough for it to qualify. Again, we have the lovely Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor who, in the future, gives birth to humankind’s only hope for survival, John Connor. Enter the Arnold, a cyborg consisting of living tissue over a robotic endoskeleton who is sent from the future to terminate Sarah and her upcoming pregnancy. James Cameron at his finest right here but the million-dollar question remains: according to Kyle Reese, these Terminators sweat and have stank breath. Which begs me to ask: these bots fartin’?
3. GREMLINS
Joe Dante and Stephen Spielberg’s team up of the horror Christmas classic GREMLINS, is undoubtedly, one of my own personal favorite films of all time. So putting it at number 3 hurts my own feelings, but someone has to suffer here, I guess. Writer Chris Columbus has us super emotionally invested in GIZMO, a mogwai given to Billy as a Christmas gift from his father who he found, and kind of stole, from a little shop in Chinatown. As cute as he can be, he comes with massive responsibilities that would be hard for any human to have to follow, let alone a teenager. And when the rule of 3 is broken, chaos ensues and Stripe along with a few other minions are born. This holiday movie is just so much fun and can be watched all year long without batting an eye. Although, I have to admit, it’s not really Christmas until I see Mrs. Deagle flying out a window. I just hope her cats were ok!
2. GHOSTBUSTERS
Listen, this seriously pains me putting GHOSTBUSTERS at number 2, but again, here I am, with my sanity slowing melting away like the sludge that drips off Venkman’s earlobes during the Slimer attack. Released on the same day as GREMLINS in June of 1984, GHOSTBUSTERS hits all the marks for what a great Blockbuster film should be and the concept of the action-horror-comedy genre was basically born as such thanks to this film. The 80s would HAVE never looked the same without the Ghostbusters and the mythic spell they put on its audiences that carried over into cartoons, merchandising, and a sequel five years later; not to mention the movies that have followed the events of the 80s’ films over the last few years with MORE coming. I can’t say much about this movie that hasn’t already been said a million times over, but I will say this: The MICK SMILEY MAGIC scene is by far, one of the GREATEST pieces of mood-setting cinematics in the history of film. Yeah, I said that and will die on that hill. The scene highlights ghosts staking their claim onto New York City, but the real monster is the one who let them out- a man with no dick, a Con Edison employee. If you’ve ever lived in New York, it’s completely plausible that a piece of shit like that would bring about the end of the world.
Anyways, enjoy this scene in all it’s brilliance. It’s so damn pretty. I get chills every time I watch it.
1. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
When it comes down to brass tacks boils and ghouls, Wes Craven’s A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET reigns supreme of 1984 for one reason beyond it being my favorite slasher franchise: Freddy became the forerunner into bringing serious horror into the mainstream market. This is not to shit on HALLOWEEN or FRIDAY THE 13th by any means at all. But history doesn’t lie. Freddy became the face of 80s horror luring a young generation in by his very claws. Between the merch, TV specials, music videos, and hell his own hour on MTV, well, Nancy said it best:
Everyone knows who Freddy is.
It also goes without saying that it’s one HELL of a movie that clawed its imprint on an entire generation of not just horror fans, but reached beyond the genre’s spectators into the minds and fears of those who don’t know dick about horror movies. That’s some serious slasher power right there. To this very day, no remake, reboot, or some carbon copy could ever TOUCH the perfection that is A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. It also has Johnny Depp debuting himself to the world in a crop top. Yeah, that ain’t getting beat today, boys.
Well, nuggets. I can’t imagine literally anyone being happy with this ranking as I’m sure it’s going to cause hell for me via some die-hard fans of these movies. However, I’m ready to hear your praises, complaints, and thoughtful opinions! Let me have it in the comments! And let’s hear it for the massive year that is 1984!
Nightmare Nostalgia 