To be a horror fan, and what’s more, a horror slasher fanatic in the year 1988 was probably peak orgasms for genre enthusiasts, and we had more than material in that year alone to make every one of us cream our jeans. Classics like THEY LIVE, CHILD’S PLAY, and KILLER KLOWNS IN OUTER SPACEtouched just the tip of the iceberg in the massive slew of horror films we got this year; including sequels to the unholy trinity of the horror slashers-Jason, Freddy, and Michael. So it was only appropriate, and damn right of them, for People Magazine to give these guys their due credit with a special spread and photoshoot honoring horror’s greatest icons.
Bringing together for the first time Robert Englund (Freddy), Kane Hodder (Jason), George P. Wilbur (Michael- HALLOWEEN 4), and Bob Elmore (Leatherface- TCM 2) like this is not something we’ve seen before, and never will again in the light of Wilbur’s passing in 2023; and it’s just beautiful.
The article in People that banded together the foursome of fear was unleashed on newsstands on November 7th, 1988, with a cute picture of Baby Jessica on the cover (remember that debacle)? That kid went through more trauma than any of these bad boys could give her so why not, eh? And with the releases ofHALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4: THE DREAM MASTER, and FRIDAY THE 13th PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD dominating the horror game in 1988, it was time for horror fans to truly celebrate as these homicidal maniacs were finally to be taken seriously as major influences in the genre and pop culture fandom as a whole. It really was a major win for us as only a few years prior, the MSM ran countless stories, and news pieces about how horror films were trash and led to violent teenagers. Just another arm of the whole Satanic Panic bullshit that needed to be laid to rest. And the fact these iconic characters and their legacies are even stronger today than it was over 35 years ago, is a testament of the power the four horsemen of the slasher films have on our dark, corroded hearts.
So let’s take a look at what PEOPLE had to say about our boys, huh?!
They’re the reason that Hollywood accountants sleep well at night and American teens don’t. Averaging 20 victims per outing, these Hollywood horror hounds have laid a trail of death over a quarter-mile long (assuming a 5-foot skull-to-toe-tag span per corpse). The box office take from their combined 17 monstrous flicks has topped a bloody $500 million. So, for Halloween, it seemed ghoulishly appropriate that Jason, Freddy, Michael and Leather-face, the peerless princes of the pathological, gather to compare notes.
Jason Voorhees (Kane Hodder, 33), the hockey-masked murderer of the Friday the 13th movies, which have grossed $172.5 million to date, groans about his teenage telekinetic adversary in Friday Part VII. “I chase her out onto the porch, and she causes the entire front of the house and the roof to collapse. About 700 pounds fell right on my head,” he moans. “Kind of rang my bell.”
George P. Wilbur, 46, the new endoskeleton beneath the other masked maniac, Michael Myers of the Halloween series ($168 million), is not to be outdone. Myers has just emerged from a 10-year coma to launch more mayhem in the new Halloween 4, and Wilbur is trying to number his latest cache of victims. “Oh, it’s countless,” he says despairingly. “A minimum of 15. I’ve got a massive body count on this one.”
Resting on the 45-inch blade of his insatiable chainsaw, Leatherface (Bob Elmore, 35) reminisces about filming the first sequel to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre($100 million) in 1986. “It was 170°,” he moans. “But I destroyed a Mercedes, killed lots of people and cut a guy’s head off. So that was real nice.”
Freddy Krueger (the recently wed Robert Englund), 39, is the only actor here to have played his fiendish character in every sequel of A Nightmare on Elm Street I through 4, which have grossed $148 million. Now star of the new TV series Freddy’s Nightmares, he looks undead on his feet per usual. The char-grilled “bastard son of a hundred maniacs” is lazily skewering apple slices on his razor fingers. Sneering in perfect Freddy fashion and baring his rotting fangs, he raises his wineglass and hisses a toast: “This blood’s for you, sucker.”
Uh, thanks, Freddy, and Happy Halloween, guys.
I’m pretty sure we won’t ever see something that fucking cool again.
In the year of our Lord, 1984, Apple launched its very first Macintosh Computer commercial bringing the wave of the future that would soon enter classrooms-Oregon trail anyone? Wendy’s wondered, “Where’s the Beef?” And Michael Jackson traded his lovely locks for a set of singed hairs on the set of the Pepsi commercial. It was a massive time for Pop Culture, consumerism, and the start of international benefit concerts and albums such as Band-Aid. It was the epitome of the Reagan era-who absolutely walloped Walter Mondale in the presidential primary election of that year. 1984 was also the year we were introduced to several legendary horror icons and franchises, Reaganomics not included, that have become some of the most beloved in the genre fan base. From a jacked, unstoppable Arnold, to a hungry green ghost that loves to slime Bill Murray, to Gremlins cannonballing into swimming pools, 1984 blew the genre into an otherworldly realm: THE BLOCKBUSTER. The two aforementioned films opened on the SAME DAY in 1984. Pretty wild to think that GHOSTBUSTERS and GREMLINS opened against each other on June 8th, 1984 to kick off the Summer and both movies ended up being the highest-performing films at the box office of the year. The combined forces brought in over a whopping $400 million domestically in theaters.
Winston said it best, folks.
1984 horror stood out with the blockbuster numbers for sure, but the year also brought some of the BEST in the Christmas horror game; with a total of three making the top 10 cut here, which is rather unusual for any yearly top ten horror list. One of which was banned from theaters due to a bunch of uptight pearl clutches who can’t differentiate a Santa Claus fiction from, well, another Santa Claus fiction. Crazy concept, eh?
Anyway, let’s get down on it, but real quick: It’s not really a movie but a short and I would never forgive myself for not giving it a spot here, so Honorary Best Horror Short Film goes to:
FRANKENWEENIE
In Tim Burton’s first major debut, his short film FRANKENWEENIE puts a spin on Mary Shelley’s FRANKENSTEIN, and we get our first taste of what I call, “The Burton Touch”. His films’ atmosphere is always immediately recognizable to his taste and character, mashing goth, fantasy, and horror all in one beautiful bubble of his very own genre. This neo-gothic French kiss to one of the greatest horror stories of all time is a virgin Tim Burton popping his cherry to the world, and it’s one of his best.
Before we actually get into this personalized top 10, I have to admit I had a HELL of a time placing these to my satisfaction- and even now writing this I’m definitely struggling because, in a perfect world, no one would EVER ask me to choose between, Slimer, Freddy, Stripe, and the goddamn Terminator. The audacity of this shit has been tasking on my mental health, y’all. So go easy on me.
10. THE TOXIC AVENGER
The only toxic relationship I want in my life. Troma’s 1984 triumph of raunchy cheese with a bullied nerd who, by the powers of toxic waste, becomes-THE TOXIC AVENGER! I still can’t believe this schlocky cult film was ever made into a Saturday morning cartoon for kids where, in the movie itself, had the absolute balls to kill a kid- very brutally! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I respect the hell out of a movie that pulls that kind of shit. When I was a kid in the 80s’, we always used the “points” tally for when we would make each other eat shit on our bikes. Beyond the movie itself being extra over-the-top in true TROMA fashion in gratuitous violence and perky mammary glands, Mop Melvin is the only true Avenger that ever mattered for us horror nerds. We salute you and your tutu, Toxie.
9.NIGHT OF THE COMET
The first of the Christmas Horror films, don’t tell me it isn’t because we WILL fight, is NIGHT OF THE COMET starring Catherine Mary Stewart and horror sweetheart Kelli Maroney, (you can check out our interview with her here!) While the world was waiting for Halley’s Comet to arrive in 1986, in comes a mini zombie apocalypse movie thanks to, well, a comet and leaves us with an end-of-mankind film with two totally ass-kicking women leads. We’re presented with two sisters from the Valley who are not ashamed of their sexuality, nor do they allow themselves to be shamed for it. They are capable of survival with or without a man to save them, and it really kicks that Valley Girl stereotype in the balls. Which is refreshingly different. The soundtrack is amazing. The nostalgia is high, looking back into the golden year of 1984. And it’s Kelli Maroney with zombies. What’s really not to love here?
8.FIRESTARTER
Stephen King’s FIRESTARTER is basically him writing a horror version of an X-MEN comic, and being a HUGE fan of X-MEN, I AM HERE FOR IT. Starring a young Drew Barrymore, Keith David, George C. Scott, and Martin Sheen, FIRESTARTER is Charlie, a little girl wanted by the government for her pyrokinesis and telekinetic abilities and is on the run with her father, who also harbors mind control powers- a little like Professor X! While Charlie’s powers are inherited, her parents’ abilities are the result of a government experiment, and now the shitheads at power want that little girl for their own personal weapon.
With a fantastic score by Tangerine Dream and an outstanding performance by a 9-year-old Drew, FIRESTARTER is miles better than the 2022 remake and I like to think the blueprint for STRANGER THINGS‘ Eleven. It’s not everyone’s favorite King adaptation, I’ve learned over the years, but it’s hard not to enjoy a film that features a little Drew Barrymore in pink bunny slippers telling Martin Sheen to go to hell. Yeah, she can start fires with her mind, but that is almost just as entertaining.
7. CHILDREN OF THE CORN
Ahh. 1984- the year when we attacked Linda Hamilton. Hear me outlanders, another Stephen King adaptation CHILDREN OF THE CORN had us never looking at corn fields the same way ever again. When the children of Gaitlin kill every adult in town on one fine Sunday morning at the will of creepy kid Issac and “he who walks behind the rows”, the premise of creepy kids in horror movies is thrown up a few notches and remains at the tippy-top of the killer-kid genre in the horror field. Enter Linda Hamilton and Peter Horton coming across this ghost town in the middle of cornfield nowhere full of homicidal kids and we got ourselves a good goddamn movie.
Also, one of the greatest PSAs’ for birth control I’ve ever seen.
6. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER
After a year of absence from Jason Voorhees in 1983, FRIDAY THE 13TH attempted to bring the legacy of Jason home with THE FINAL CHAPTER and a definitive ending to our Crystal Lake killer- but we all know that hella didn’t happen. However, IF, this was actually the end of Jason, I felt it would have been a pretty proper send-off. This movie is a goddamn SLASHERTERPIECE. It has every box checked for everything you could want in a 80s slasher film: Corey Feldman. Naked twins. A pervert called Teddy Bear. A banana-eating hitchhiker. And a cool dog that LIVES toward the end of the movie. Also, with a great cast to boot-probably the best cast of all the Friday films, we are gifted with the national treasure of Crispin Glover and a dance that, to this day, no one has ever forgotten.
5. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT
Our second Christmas horror film of the list-SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT is a personal favorite of mine and one horror flick where no one ever saw a franchise forming but here the fuck we are. And thank fucks because SNDN 5: THE TOYMAKER is a horrible guilty pleasure of mine. The karens’ of 1984 managed to get this holiday horror movie, that consists of a homicidal maniac dressed as Santa that murders a (shocker) naked Linnea Quigley by mounted deer antlers through the tatas, banned from theaters after only a week of it being released. Jokes on you, pearl clutches. That just piqued our interest all the more and we raise our disgusting eggnog to Billy- one of the most unhinged antagonists of a horror movie of all time that we also all collectively feel devastated and sorry for. That’s one hell of a combo and never easy to pull off. Plus, I love pausing the flick and looking around at all the vintage toys in IRA’s… it’s just an added bonus.
Before we go any further, I literally had a panic attack trying to rank the final four films because I love them all almost equally. So, basically what it came down to was longevity, the legacy, and a tad of a personal opinion.
4. The Terminator
Sticking THE TERMINATOR at number 4 hurts my goddamn soul, but hey, these decisions are never taken lightly. Also, I’m sure some would argue that TERMINATOR is NOT a horror movie, and while I tend to agree mostly with that, the premise of an unstoppable force hunting you down and the mass genocide of a human race by machines is enough for it to qualify. Again, we have the lovely Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor who, in the future, gives birth to humankind’s only hope for survival, John Connor. Enter the Arnold, a cyborg consisting of living tissue over a robotic endoskeleton who is sent from the future to terminate Sarah and her upcoming pregnancy. James Cameron at his finest right here but the million-dollar question remains: according to Kyle Reese, these Terminators sweat and have stank breath. Which begs me to ask: these bots fartin’?
3. GREMLINS
Joe Dante and Stephen Spielberg’s team up of the horror Christmas classic GREMLINS, is undoubtedly, one of my own personal favorite films of all time. So putting it at number 3 hurts my own feelings, but someone has to suffer here, I guess. Writer Chris Columbus has us super emotionally invested in GIZMO, a mogwai given to Billy as a Christmas gift from his father who he found, and kind of stole, from a little shop in Chinatown. As cute as he can be, he comes with massive responsibilities that would be hard for any human to have to follow, let alone a teenager. And when the rule of 3 is broken, chaos ensues and Stripe along with a few other minions are born. This holiday movie is just so much fun and can be watched all year long without batting an eye. Although, I have to admit, it’s not really Christmas until I see Mrs. Deagle flying out a window. I just hope her cats were ok!
2. GHOSTBUSTERS
Listen, this seriously pains me putting GHOSTBUSTERS at number 2, but again, here I am, with my sanity slowing melting away like the sludge that drips off Venkman’s earlobes during the Slimer attack. Released on the same day as GREMLINS in June of 1984, GHOSTBUSTERS hits all the marks for what a great Blockbuster film should be and the concept of the action-horror-comedy genre was basically born as such thanks to this film. The 80s would HAVE never looked the same without the Ghostbusters and the mythic spell they put on its audiences that carried over into cartoons, merchandising, and a sequel five years later; not to mention the movies that have followed the events of the 80s’ films over the last few years with MORE coming. I can’t say much about this movie that hasn’t already been said a million times over, but I will say this: The MICK SMILEY MAGIC scene is by far, one of the GREATEST pieces of mood-setting cinematics in the history of film. Yeah, I said that and will die on that hill. The scene highlights ghosts staking their claim onto New York City, but the real monster is the one who let them out- a man with no dick, a Con Edison employee. If you’ve ever lived in New York, it’s completely plausible that a piece of shit like that would bring about the end of the world.
Anyways, enjoy this scene in all it’s brilliance. It’s so damn pretty. I get chills every time I watch it.
1. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
When it comes down to brass tacks boils and ghouls, Wes Craven’s A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET reigns supreme of 1984 for one reason beyond it being my favorite slasher franchise: Freddy became the forerunner into bringing serious horror into the mainstream market. This is not to shit on HALLOWEEN or FRIDAY THE 13th by any means at all. But history doesn’t lie. Freddy became the face of 80s horror luring a young generation in by his very claws. Between the merch, TV specials, music videos, and hell his own hour on MTV, well, Nancy said it best:
Everyone knows who Freddy is.
It also goes without saying that it’s one HELL of a movie that clawed its imprint on an entire generation of not just horror fans, but reached beyond the genre’s spectators into the minds and fears of those who don’t know dick about horror movies. That’s some serious slasher power right there. To this very day, no remake, reboot, or some carbon copy could ever TOUCH the perfection that is A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. It also has Johnny Depp debuting himself to the world in a crop top. Yeah, that ain’t getting beat today, boys.
Well, nuggets. I can’t imagine literally anyone being happy with this ranking as I’m sure it’s going to cause hell for me via some die-hard fans of these movies. However, I’m ready to hear your praises, complaints, and thoughtful opinions! Let me have it in the comments! And let’s hear it for the massive year that is 1984!
The year was 1984. The very first commercial for the revolutionary Apple Computer premiered at the beginning of the year, foreshadowing an irreversible change in the way we live for an entire generation. While one can argue this may very well be, the most significant moment in ’84, (or hell an entire decade), most horror fans may dispute that. 35 years ago today, one of horror’s biggest icons was born from the mind of the late Wes Craven-Freddy Krueger. Robert Englund gave him a body, Craven the brain- see what I did there- and unleashed Freddy Fever unto Generation Y that shows no signs of slowing up all these years later.
Of course, there hasn’t been a relevant enough bootleg Freddy toy to catch my attention over the last 20 years. But, maybe that’s for the best, yeah?
While I can’t speak for every single child of the ’80s, Freddy Fever rose high and rampant over the course of a decade, introducing an entire generation to the horror genre due to Springwood’s Slasher popularity. Nancy said it best, “Every kid knows who he is. He’s like Santa Claus.”
And even celebrated much more so by the horror fandom than the generous, jolly ol’ dude. With on-screen heroes emerging in the decade like Indiana Jones, Rambo, and pretty much any Arnold Schwarzenegger film, Freddy rose to the ranks of a hero of a generation of horror movie fans by being nothing more than the ethos of pure evil- well with later added slapstick comedy which only BOOSTED all the diehard FredHeads (myself included) to put him on a higher pedestal; rounding out the Holy Horror Slasher Trinity with his buddies Michal and Jason.
I mean, you’ve really made it when MTV (when it was you know, amazing) lets you VJ and just end up doing whatever the fuck you want. That’s some star power.
All that being said, WHAT exactly had the youth of our generation so insanely captivated by well, a brutal child killer? I can only speculate on watching Freddymania evolve throughout the ’80s, and ’90s, to today’s hardcore fanbase that follows Freddy and Friends to the ends of the Earth via social media and horror conventions (I’m totally one of those people), and speaking with fellow FredHead buddies. And the answers are pretty quite simple: The children are the warriors of this horror franchise. They are the ones who recognize the evil while the adults stand around with their thumbs up their asses. THEY are the ones who stand together, (just look at Dream Warriors) and face their enemy head-on. So it’s only natural an adolescent would gravitate toward something they could possibly relate to. Society is often guilty of not listening to our youth and A Nightmare On Elm Street made that loud and clear folks.
Another reason and this is personally true in my case being a female, is that each of the NOES films gave us the absolute, most ass-kicking heroines that any young girl would be proud to look up to. First off, let’s just get this right out of the way- Nancy is the goddamn Queen. Even though it was quite clear that she was slowly getting edgier as the film progressed- to be fair she was working on a week’s worth of almost no sleep while Fred was trying to murder her– she really had the most logical and sturdy head out of EVERYONE in that entire film. Including her parents. Not to mention she went full Rambo on Krueger’s ass. I’m not going to sit here and try and argue how she managed to set all those booby traps, fall asleep, and capture Freddy all in twenty minutes of film time. Let’s just appreciate the fact that this girl went balls to the wall, going as far as tackling her predator to the ground WWF style in one giant FUCK YOU to his face. And then she turns her back on him and calls him “shit”.
Goddamn. GIRL FUCKING POWER.
Last but not least, A Nightmare On Elm Street has always been seen by me as a “comfort horror film”. Over the years, I’ve written several articles on how horror films actually soothe my anxiety- And the NOES films are exactly that for me. Comfort in times of stress and the harsh realities of the real world. I refer to films like these in a term I coined, “FANTASTICAL HORROR”. You see, movies like Halloween and Friday the 13th (only the first, after that they became FANTASTICAL), were very much real to me. THAT SHIT COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN. It’s very plausible an escaped lunatic could go on a killing spree or a deranged childless mother going apeshit on a group of kids. With NOES, mehhhhhhhhh, highly doubt a burnt-faced demon is gonna kill me in my dreams. Not to say one could never die in their sleep, or to take away the fact the movie really is terrifying in other aspects. But, it’s not realistic to me. And that’s ok! In times of real-world tragedies, shitty adult issues, and when the world seems so ugly that you want to pack up and move to Mars, Freddy and the gang are here. To take us to DreamLand. To a place that takes us out of reality and into the world of Fantastical Horror.
You know, kinda like Harry Potter but cooler. Don’t you Hogwarts fans @ me.
Happy anniversary Freddy and the gang. And to all my fellow sons and daughters of 100 maniacs who keep the fandom of this movie as strong as ever. WE are all his children now-and forever.
